Month: May 2006

Oh, and re: last month’s pictures, more than one person asked if she was carrying a GUN in the last picture, where she’s looking out the door! No, it was the part of the screen door that keeps it from closing too fast just beyond her hand. (What IS that piece of the door called, anyway?)
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My friend and my boss Darrin is getting married tomorrow. Since he’s not there today, it gives me an opportunity to post a little something about him and his financee Suzy on the work blog.

My friend Sarah has been accused of being a grumpy young woman. I wouldn’t call her grumpy, I’d consider her concerned for the state of the country.

Whereas I AM grumpy. This takes on two forms, the political and the personal. Re: the former, I’m grumpy that the Senate’s going to vote on ANWR–again. That Federal Marriage Amendment is bugging me; a friend has suggested joining a postcard campaign against it, which couldn’t hurt, I suppose, though I think personalized individual postcards and e-mails may be more effective; since the anthrax scare of 2001, letters are less effective. Oh, and there’s other stuff, too.

On the personal side, I discovered this week, to my horror, that a private conversation I was having at work could be heard perfectly four cubicles away. Conversely, I seem to be able to hear three groups of people talking, including every visitor, but only in a cacophonous mush.
I’m grumpy because I seemed to have missed the memos about how we’re tracking our questions, a small matter I suppose, but how did I miss it? I read an e-mail that my work e-mail had changed, so I sent out a bunch of e-mails to others to that effect, then I was told it hadn’t changed…yet. It will be, BTW, roger.green@nyssbdc.org..soon. Apparently, I received one or more phone calls last Friday and/or Monday, based on the light on my phone, but I can’t access them.

I’m uncharacteristically grumpy in a “bite-my-bottom-lip” sort of way, and I don’t think it’s my general state of being.

At least one of my colleagues is a bit grumpy, too. Writing to a third party: “Not to overstate things, but this has been the single most frustrating two-week stretch of work in my time here.” Internet has been intermittent. The power in the whole building went off for about 15 seconds on Tuesday, etc., etc., etc. At least we’ve gotten our CD-ROMs for the library on the eighth working day there.

I think it’s a function of the fact we like doing our work, and we like doing it well, and it’s been hard to do our jobs, WHEN we can do our jobs; a couple librarians STILL don’t have a working printer. A couple of us went to our work conference earlier this month to explain that we would be attacking the backlog of reference questions, when what’s been happening has been the opposite; I finished two questions yesterday that came in on the 20th…of April, totally unacceptable to us.
Also, in part, I think it’s also because it’s been uncommonly gloomy, weatherwise. Rain at least 10 of the last 12 days at some point, though it was sunny yesterday.

In fact, it’s gotten so bad that I’ve been forced to sing Broadway musicals to cheer myself up.

So, this what I’m asking for: Funny stuff. Laugh out loud stuff. Stupid stuff. Tasteless stuff. As long as it’s funny. Or in the words of another musical Be a Clown. Laughter is the best medicine, or so Reader’s Digest would tell me. Post to the site or send it to my CURRENT e-mail address. Or else I’ll be forced to sing “Tomorrow” from Annie.

Examples I’ve already gotten:

This

and this

A woman on the bus I see often told me these yesterday:

Why did the bicyclist crash into the wall?
Because he was two-tired.

There was this poster in the library in my school, some op art thing with the word Dylan on it. I didn’t know how to say the word; I thought it was Die-Lan, rather than Dill-an. I soon learned.

The first Dylan song I owned: I Want You on my now-stolen “Best of 66” Columbia Records compilation.

Well, that was my first Dylan-as-artist song, for I had a number of Dylan songs by Peter, Paul and Mary, the Byrds and Pete Seeger.

The first Dylan album I bought was Nashville Skyline. Or maybe John Wesley Harding.

Someone bought me Dylan’s book Tarantula. I’m sure I still have it somewhere, but I doubt I’ve ever read it all the way through.

I worked in a dreadful summer camp when I was 17, where they constantly ripped off their workers. One of my colleagues wrote this song, written to the tune of “Maggie’s Farm” (name changed to protect the guilty). There were several verses, which he typed and mimeographed. Wish I could find my copy. One verse:
I ain’t gonna work at J.L.’s camp no more (X2)
J.L.’s always comin’ ’round and say “Go mow the grass”
He can take that lawn mower and stick it up his ***
There’s room for that and plenty more.
No, I ain’t gonna work at J.L.’s camp no more.

One of the first albums I bought as a gift was Self Portrait, which my girlfriend at the time really wanted. After she played it, I was not sure that she was happy that she had asked for it. It has, among other things, a nasty version of The Boxer, which I’m sure was in retaliation for the 1966 Simon and Garfunkel song A Simple Desultory Philippic, especially the “I’ve lost my harmonica, Albert” bit. The lyrics of this tune is here.

I didn’t understand My Back Pages, even when I was 18. I thought it was just some poetic mishmash. I thought I knew everything I needed to know in life. But by the time I was 23, I understood it all too well: “I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now.”

Most of my Dylan albums are from the 1970s.

I’ve never seen him play live. I’ve had the opportunity, but was concerned at the time about his then uneven performance track record. My loss.

I was weirded out by the Victoria’s Secret ad, too.

After getting no sense of satisfaction, and fearing threat they would wreck her good credit, my wife also wrote to the collection agency on February 6, with a copy to the PSC, fully documenting the debacle of their billing process. A day later, we got a letter from the PSC saying, essentially that they were going to aggressively look into this matter. In a letter dated February 10, Verizon wrote:

“Thank you for the opportunity to address your concern regarding the above account. This letter is to confirm that the above mentioned telephone number is satisfied in full.” It also noted the collection agency was notified, that we’d have no derogatory notice on our credit report and that we could call them if we had questions.

Finally.

Subsequently, we’ve gotten letters from Verizon asking us to come back, even offering us $25 to return. $25? A few years back, phone companies were offering us twice that, THRICE that to switch. No thanks.

Meanwhile, we need to get a couple cell phones. (Wait a minute: did I write “cell phones” and “need to get” in the same sentence? What’s happened to me?) OK, we OUGHT to get a couple cell phones; the troubles I’ve had getting home from the new work place have convinced me of the efficacy of doing so. The last time we had cell phones, we had Verizon, we didn’t use them all that much, probably 3 or 4 times a week max, and it was costing us WAY too much, maybe $70-$80/month.

And I’ve been peeved about how Verizon capitulated so easily in this NSA thing, though I’ve read that they said they did resist.

When I went down to my first conference this month down in Catskill, I was going to use someone’s cell phone, with service provided by Cingular. Unfortunately, the phone didn’t work. The only phones that were functional there were those that had services provided by…Verizon.

So, what does one do? Get one of those “per call” phones? And Allah knows I don’t want to spend a fortune on the phones themselves. What does someone who wants to have two phones but for emergency use only want to get?

Know that if we DO get cell phones, I won’t be giving out the number except to my spouse, and maybe my child’s daycare. My need to be available 24/7 is virtually nil. I don’t want to become one of those cell phone users who utter the words, “Oh, I have to take this call.”

At some level, I have some contempt for cell phones, or is it the users? Three out the last four times I almost got hit by a car at a street corner, it was with the driver’s ear in the cell phone. New York State’s anti-cell ban is ineffectual, as it is unenforceable. So, I feel as though I’m going over to the dark side.

Thanks to Tosy for pointing out The Futon Critic. Thanks also to Tom the Dog, who has previewed all the new shows on his blog (May 16-19), so I don’t have to.

Mondays
10PM What About Brian? – I started watching this soap opera on a lark last season and decided I liked it enough to give it another go. Saw the final episode of THIS season only yesterday.

Tuesdays
8PM – Gilmore Girls – As if you didn’t know, though Friday Night Lights is interesting enough of a concept to tape at least once.
9PM I’m curious enough about Let’s Rob to at least watch it once. Mick Jagger?
10PM Boston Legal – with more ex-Star Trek people than any cast on TV right now. And haven’t watched the last two-hour episode of this season.

Wednesdays
Nothing. Oh, I might try a show or two – mostly likely 30 Rock – but nothing is yet must see.

Thursdays
8PM My Name Is Earl – Both my wife and I are very fond of this show.
8:30PM The Office – and also this one. STILL haven’t seen the last two episodes of either of these programs.
9PM Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip – Is anyone who is a TV junkie NOT anticipating this?
9PM Grey’s Anatomy – The joy of being able to record two shows at once, since it’s choir night and I’m unlikely to see either one in real time. Three episodes to go this season.

Fridays
Nothing.

Saturdays
Definitely nothing.

Sundays
7PM Everybody Hates Chris – all the new shows I added this year have male names (Brian, Earl, Chris) – what is the significance of that? One episode to go this season.
7PM 60 Minutes – three episodes to watch.
8PM The Simpsons
8PM NFL Football, if the game is interesting, especially later in the season.
10PM Brothers & Sisters – here’s where I agree with Tosy about Ally McBeal enough to try this Calista Flockhart-starring vehicle.