I am among the WORST gift wrappers on the planet.
I was not sleeping well the night before the holiday office party. Part of it was the fact that I knew The Wife was going to get a routine medical exam REALLY early the next morning. This meant that, instead of her getting up at 5:30 a.m., which, after all these years, I’m still barely used to, she’d be up before 5. Arrgh.
Abandoning the bed, I tried to sleep in the recliner downstairs for a while, then onto the sofa. I was awake enough to note the kitchen light was on but fell back asleep until 7:20. Not only did I have to rush to get dressed for work, but I also had to wake the Daughter – usual rising time 6:30 – so she could get to school before 8.
Also, I had to wrap the gift for the grab bag. I had chosen the soundtrack to the great Broadway musical Hamilton, which may very well be the album of the year. Fortunately, the Wife came home, so I could take a shower, and SHE could wrap the gift because I am among the WORST gift wrappers on the planet. Plus, I was running so late, she drove me to work.
I do two reference questions. Noticing that the Outlook calendar has noted the noon party time, I didn’t rush, knowing from experience that my colleagues are always late getting started. But when I looked up at 12:10, no one was there, as though I were in one of those Left Behind films. I hadn’t heard them leave; I wear headphones with music to minimize the external chatter. I walked the handful of blocks to the venue.
The first party game was putting together a list of holiday-related items. So I had at it, running through A to N without stopping, then picking off some other letters. The secretary/party coordinator said it didn’t specifically have to be the immediate upcoming holidays, so I used that for my V response. And even starting late, I won the contest.
Here was my list.
A: apple – I’ve sung, in a choir, the anthem “Jesus Christ, the Apple Tree”
B: bells
C: carols
D: ding dong. Thinking of “Ding Dong Merrily On High”, though the George Harrison song would also fit
E: eats
F: fun – these last two were pretty generic, but whatevs, as the Daughter says
G: greenery
H: holly
I ivy – the lat two from “The Holly and the Ivy,” naturally
J: joy, as in “to the world”
K: kisses, as in Hershey
L: love
M: manger
N: nativity
O: open the window; I’m thinking A Visit from St. Nicholas
P: pouch – Santa’s, of course
Q: quest for the King; a tad obtuse, but it’s Q
R: reindeer
S: Silent Night
T: Toys for Tots – we had just collected presents for them
U: unity -another vague one
V: Valentine’s, Saint – hey she said holidays, so I reached into February; Vixen would have been better
W: We Three Kings
X: Xmas
Y: in the Year of Our Lord
Z: Zion
I won two scratch-off lottery cards. I hadn’t played these in decades, and the second one seemed to have rather complicated instructions. But I had a 2X on a card, which means I won $10 X 2 or 20 bucks. When I went to the corner store later to cash it in, the proprietor seemed irritated that I didn’t know the procedure, which was to scratch off the code BELOW the game, and scan it to see if it’s a winner.
The grab bag had several alcoholic beverages, mostly wine, and I scored a nice Riesling plus a bar of Ghirardelli chocolate. Then there was a guessing game about who brought which gift. I think EVERYONE figured that it was I who brought Hamilton, especially after the only other likely candidate acknowledged that she would have coveted it had she not already owned it. I figured out only three gifts out of 12, whereas a couple of folks nailed six.
I should oversleep more often? Or I should get scratch-off lottery tickets more often? Or I should arrive late more often? There’s a life lesson here SOMEWHERE.