January 2016 - Page 3 of 7 - Ramblin' with Roger

Money or mitigating mistakes?

Would I have to relive parts of my twenties? OH, God, please, NO.

One finds these on Facebook all the time. Would you rather have this large sum of money, or do something that would be perceived as nobler?

I look at these options, and the choice was surprisingly easy; I’d take the cash. This does not come from either greed or shallowness. Rather it is from the recognition that the mistakes I made – and to quote Sinatra, “I’ve made a few” – are what makes me, ME. This is NOT to say that there aren’t choices I’ve regretted, only that undoing them would mean I would presumably unlearn the lesson of my errors.

To play the scenario out, there’s no guarantee that fixing the mistakes would lead to a good result. I was struck by the fact, in the Stephen King novel 11/22/63, that the protagonist has to make several different attempts going back in time to try to thwart the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. More prosaically, there’s an irritating newish Disney show called Best Friends Whenever, about time-traveling teens, and they too find going back to fix things not so easy.

Would I have to relive parts of my twenties? OH, God, please, NO.

Sometimes mistakes are good. I was giving a presentation at the Friends of the Albany Public book review on The Gospel According to the Beatles. Some of the group’s greatest creativity came from “mistakes,” such as the line “two-foot small” in You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away, instead of “two-foot-tall.” Moreover, there is a philosophy that one should embrace errors as part of the serendipity of life. Many inventions were “mistakes,” someone trying to make something else.

Hey, maybe the mistake was not saving enough for retirement, or for The Daughter’s college fund. Taking the money would SOLVE the error.

Online, someone fretted that having lots of money would be too likely to change his life, a legitimate concern, giving the history of some lottery winners. I wrote:
Think of the things
You can do with that money
Choose any charity
Give to the poor
This reference to Caiaphas singing in Jesus Christ Superstar – Damned For All Time/ Blood Money – was totally lost on the participants, alas.

But what say YOU?

Book Review: F.S.O.

It requires figuring out how to use the sump pump, install storm windows and charge a dead car battery – alone.

I suppose we’re all trying to F.S.O. But Amy Biancolli had to deal with it, in part, in a rather public way.

A few years ago, her husband, Christopher Ringwald, spoke at my church. He had written a book called A Day Apart, subtitled “How Jews, Christians, and Muslims find faith, freedom, and joy on the Sabbath.” He signed my book, “Thanks for the topic and the wonderful evening.” I barely remember what, if anything, I had to do with facilitating his visit, but so be it. I had a few email conversations with him after that date, which was probably c 2007.

He was accompanied by his wife, Amy Biancolli, who I “knew” mostly from her syndicated movie reviews that appeared in the local paper, the Times Union. I found her observations useful, and fairly in sync with my point of view.

If I were to pick a person least likely to commit suicide, it would have been Chris Ringwald. But, evidently, in his last few months, he developed a mental illness that forced him to do just that in September 2011, and in a very public way, off the roof of a hospital parking lot less than a mile from their home. Mike Huber of the TU wrote a lovely remembrance.

This left Amy, of course, a widow, with three kids to raise alone. Beyond her grief, and dealing with her kids’ sense of loss, Amy had to figure out how to organize the “crisis ziti” that came pouring into the house from friends and neighbors, how to go back to work, but also how to mow the lawn, which Chris used to do, but he’s not here anymore. In other words, as her book and her blog read, F.S.O.

Chris so hated that four-letter word, while Amy, I can attest from some times I’ve run into her, is drawn to it. She did NOT feel strong, amazing, incredible – all the terms people said that she was in the days and weeks after Chris’ death.

F.S.O means dealing with guilt, though, as someone who had dealt with her sister’s suicide two decades earlier, she recognizes it’s not her fault. But it also requires figuring out how to use the sump pump, install storm windows and charge a dead car battery – alone. It means creating new family traditions, a different Thanksgiving venue, a shorter Christmas tree, a vacation in Ecuador during which she does not drown. It addresses her evolution from not shaving her legs to the realization that she’ll want another Mr. Manly Pants someday.

The book is sad. And funny. And practical. And true.

Dolly Parton is 70

Dolly Parton will be married 50 years to Carl Thomas Dean.

Maybe it was the inner prude in me, but when Dolly Parton first hit the national scene, I was somewhat bothered by the fact that she was better known for her ample bosoms than her enormous talent. Still, she seemed to be in on the joke, becoming so successful that she has a theme park – Dollywood – in her name.

What I liked, besides her singing and songwriting, was a good heart. This recent interview in Parade magazine expresses this well. She grew up dirt poor in rural Tennessee, and now raises money and awareness for several causes, especially education. In May 2016, Dolly Parton will be married 50 years to Carl Thomas Dean, a man as shy as she seems ingratiating.

Interesting that her first country single was called “Dumb Blonde,” one of the few songs from that era she did NOT write, appropriate because she is not. In 1974, “Elvis Presley indicated that he wanted to cover the song. Parton was interested until Presley’s wily manager, Colonel Tom Parker, told her that it was standard procedure for the songwriter to sign over half of the publishing rights to any song recorded by Presley. Parton refused. That decision has been credited with helping to make her many millions of dollars in royalties from the song over the years.”

Dolly Parton received the Kennedy Center Honors in 2006. You can read about her extensive musical history on her Wikipedia page.

The music links

The Last Thing on My Mind, a duet with Porter Wagoner; she was a regular on his weekly syndicated TV program, and this Tom Paxton cover went to #8 in the country charts.

In the Good Old Days (When Times Were Bad), later a standard, but reached only #25 on the country charts in 1968.

Mule Skinner Blues. Her first country Top 5 without Wagoner, getting to #3 for two weeks in 1970.

Joshua. Her first country #1, in 1971. Even got to 108 on the pop charts.

Coat of Many Colors. #4 country in 1971, and the name of the 2015 TV movie about her.

Jolene, #1 country, #60 pop, #219 in Rolling Stone magazine’s top 500 songs.

I Will Always Love You. #1 country in 1974. Written about her professional break from Wagoner. I believe this has been covered.

Here You Come Again, #1 country for five weeks, and notably, #3 for two weeks on the pop charts.

9 to 5. The title song from the movie I really enjoyed, #1 on both country and pop charts in 1981.

Those Memories Of You (#5 country) from the Trio album, with Emmylou Harris & Linda Ronstadt, as is To Know Him Is To Love Him (#1 country in 1978).

Travelin’ Prayer. A Billy Joel cover from a Dolly album I own.

There are plenty of other choices, as she has over 100 charted songs. These include including duets with several partners, most notably Kenny Rogers.

B is for Baha’i

The Okie and I saw Seals and Crofts perform in NYC on November 12, 1971 – Bahá’u’lláh’s birthday!

A few months after I married my college sweetheart, the Okie, in 1972, she decided to become a Baha’i. She said that I ought not to have been surprised, since she had been thinking about it for seven years. This I did know.

In Persia, modern-day Iran, there was a guy named The Báb (1819-1850), who was a John the Baptist-like herald of the faith. “In the middle of the 19th century, He announced that He was the bearer of a message destined to transform humanity’s spiritual life.” That second messenger was Bahá’u’lláh (1817-1892), the “Glory of God”, “the Promised One foretold by the Báb and all of the Divine Messengers of the past. Bahá’u’lláh delivered a new Revelation from God to humanity.”

Indeed, I was intrigued with the notion of “progressive revelation,” among them Abraham, Krishna, Zoroaster, Moses, Buddha, Jesus Christ, Muhammad, the Báb, and Bahá’u’lláh, who were Manifestations of God” for different times.

“In His will, Bahá’u’lláh appointed His oldest son, ‘Abdu’l-Bahá (1844-1921), as the authorized interpreter of His teachings and Head of the Faith. Throughout the East and West, ‘Abdu’l-Bahá became known as an ambassador of peace, an exemplary human being, and the leading exponent of a new Faith.

“Appointed Guardian of the Bahá’í Faith by ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, His eldest grandson, Shoghi Effendi (1897-1957), spent 36 years systematically nurturing the development, deepening the understanding, and strengthening the unity of the Bahá’í community, as it increasingly grew to reflect the diversity of the entire human race.”

The most famous Baha’is you might have heard of was the singing duo Seals and Crofts, who the Okie and I saw perform on November 12, 1971 – Bahá’u’lláh’s birthday! – in New York City, with the then-unknown group Boz Scaggs opening for them.

Seals & Crofts put out several albums, with many of their songs – notably Year of Sunday [LISTEN] mentioning the Baha’i teachings. Interestingly, proselytizing was antithetical to Baha’i beliefs, but the duo had found a way to both make popular music and share their faith.

Well, until they released the song Unborn Child, which was both commercially toxic and, though the faith discouraged abortion, was chastened by some Baha’i body – the Universal House of Justice, perhaps – since this song was too preachy; the faith allows for abortion in VERY limited circumstances.

Ultimately, I never became a Baha’i, primarily because the Okie was proselytizing to ME. As an isolated member of the faith, she’d missed that lesson. I MIGHT have spent more time looking at this iteration of faith. Instead, I moved to an even more agnostic state of mind.

ABC Wednesday – Round 18

January Rambling #1: Of Oz The Wizard

This is what happens when you reply to spam email.

Gordon Parks’ Jim Crow photos still resonate, alas.

David Brooks of the NY Times: The Brutalism of Ted Cruz.

The father of a boy killed at Sandy Hook gets death threats from people who say the shooting was a hoax.

Amy Biancolli: Not alone at being alone.

Affluenza and F. Scott Fitzgerald.

What militants and the pungent salad radish have in common.

Mark Evanier’s scarlet fever.

The New Yorker: My Last Day as a Surgeon. “In May of 2013, the Stanford University neurosurgical resident Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with Stage IV metastatic lung cancer. He was thirty-six years old.”

Google got it wrong. The open-office trend is destroying the workplace. “Workplaces need more walls, not fewer,” something I’m painfully aware of.

‘Lost’ Jerry Lewis Holocaust film sees the light.

Your favorite movies, re-edited, including Of Oz The Wizard, the movie arranged in alphabetical order, from Aah to Zipper. Don’t watch “of”, if you value your sanity.

Periodic table’s seventh row finally filled as four new elements are added, and the song to go with it.

British actor Alan Rickman, star of stage and ‘Harry Potter,’ dies at 69. Here are his Top 20 movie quotes.

2015: SamuraiFrog’s 50 favorite pop culture artifacts and the year in 4 minutes.

2016 in the Capital District: Salaries, food and taxes, have yourself a nice hot cup of coffee while you still can.

Metroland, RIP, and Albany’s alternative weekly Metroland nostalgic, bittersweet final issue.

TEDx: James Veitch: This is what happens when you reply to spam email.