Here are more of the 36 questions
A study by the psychologist Arthur Aron (and others) explores whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions. The 36 questions in the study are broken up into three sets, with each set intended to be more probing than the previous one.
Set II
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
I don’t know what “the truth about myself” means. Certainly, I have no interested in knowing the future.
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
I wanted to visit all 50 states and several countries, but it hasn’t happened because of time, money, and changing priorities.
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
I have no idea. Blogging every day for over 19 and a half years?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
Honesty, comfort.
17. What is your most treasured memory?
Probably when the kid was born.
18. What is your most terrible memory?
Quite possibly, it was when my wife was having some oral surgery. I saw her give birth, which was a piece of cake compared with that. She was sweaty and uncomfortable.
And If I Die
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
I have a project that would be accelerated, for sure, because I want to finish it, and I’m the one in the best position to do so.
20. What does friendship mean to you?
A safe place.
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
It is an outsized role. I’ve managed to remain friends with some of my exes, or at least Facebook friends. I’m good friends with my high school sweetheart. Getting married at 19 to the Okie, and then… other stuff was complicated. The deaths of two of my exes still resonate. My first girlfriend recently discovered my blog because she was making a point about Popeye and Binghamton television.
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
I’m not doing any of that stuff that obligates my wife.
She’s good at dealing with insurance companies. She used to work in insurance. That stuff makes MEGO.
She’s a very good baker and a good cook, too.
Our daughter would agree that she’s a great mom, teaching her enough culinary tricks to help her survive college.
As her mother ages, she’s shown to be a great daughter.
She’s an excellent driver.
Family matters
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
I don’t think of my family as warm. We got along well enough. My father was a disciplinarian for stuff I didn’t think it was worthy of being disciplined. My sisters and I all had different issues with him. My mother was kind, but I think he could have been overbearing towards her.
Yet, when I talk to people about their families, I think most of them have their own ghosts, their own skeletons. So I don’t know that our family was less happy than most. You often think everybody else’s lives are much easier than yours.
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Things were generally quite good with my mom, but I felt bad about the last weekend I saw her not in a hospital bed. It was in Charlotte, NC, in 2009 when I visited her, my sister Marcia, and my niece, who graduated from high school. My sister Leslie was there, too. We went out to dinner after the ceremony.
There was a point at which my daughter, who was with me, needed to take her medicine, so I asked my mom for the key to the house so that I could take a bus to the house and get my daughter’s nebulizer going. She said No and gave me this “why don’t we just get along” talk. It infuriated me. I bit my lip. That weekend was the last time I talked with her in person. The next time I saw her was when she was in the hospital bed in 2011, the day before she died; she was not particularly responsive.