W is for World

The world is populated with plenty of bizarre and astonishing creatures. I think I’ve met some of these folks, in human form.


An actor I know.

Certainly, this creature on cable news.


Has the beady eyes of as prominent local citizen.


A contestant on a reality television show.

An animated fellow.

This looks like a professor I once had.


I find that this type of mop cleans quite well.

SALUTE!


the chair of a committee I once served on.


A former customer.

Now, if I were nice, I’d tell you what these creatures are. But tr=the pictures were sent to me without that information. I WAS given an incomplete list of choices, though:
ALPACA
ANGORA RABBIT
Axolotl
Aye-aye
Blobfish
Dumbo Octopus
Emperor Tamarin
Frill-necked Lizard
Hagfish
Komondor Dog
Narwhale
Pink Fairy Armadillo
Proboscis Monkey
Pygmy Marmoset
Shoebill
Sloth
Star-nosed Mole
Sucker-footed Bat
Sun Bear
Tapir
Tarsier
White-faced Saki Monkey
Yeti Crab

I’ve figured out most of them, but have at it.

ROG

V is for Vacation


I have alluded to this before: the wife and I had not been on a vacation alone together in over five years. This correlates nicely with the fact that we have a five-year-old daughter. So a couple years back, for our 10th anniversary, the wife began saving some money for us to do something.

As it turned out, we decided to travel a mere 32 miles from our home in Albany to Saratoga Springs, NY. While our actual anniversary was May 15, we decided to travel Thursday through Sunday on a week Carol had off from school in April and the in-laws could come up from Oneonta – about 70 miles away – and watch the child.

Thursday, we checked into the inn. We had had Indian food in Albany for a late lunch so all we had for dinner was popcorn as we went to the movies to see I Love You, Man, which I reviewed here; not high art, but we enjoyed it.
Friday morning, we went to the Tang Museum, discussed here.

Then, we went to this cute little restaurant for lunch; had an Old World charm. The food was good, but we noted that they used peanut oil in some of their cooking. Tasty, but the child is allergic, so I suspect we wouldn’t be going there as a family.

In the afternoon, we went to the National Museum of Dance. Ah, piled snow melts slower.

Here’s the building. That person in pink is my wife, BTW.

I have to say that we found the museum quite disappointing. A good museum or hall of fame – and this purports to be that for dance – needs enough “stuff” to make you want to come back again. This place just did not.

On the other hand, this was the only museum-like place we went to that actually allowed us to take photographs. Make of that what you will. The showcase pictured above is the primary part of the Peter Martens display; Martens is the most recent inductee. Oh, there are the dresses below, signed by some of his dance partners.

But there were no permanent items for each of the artists, save for a banner with fairly limited information. BTW, I no longer remember WHAT this is.

One of the cool things this place DID have were coverings on the windows representing the Hall of Famers. Don’t recall who the couple are, but the woman on the left is choreographer Agnes deMille.

This begins the section “The Evolution of Dance on the Broadway Stage”, starting with a replication of the streets around the Great White Way.

This is Sardi’s, the famous restaurant where performers hung out.

A picture of one of my favorite performers, the late Jerry Orbach.

The museum is working on developing a section on the “spa” history of Saratoga. This is a machine used in that period.

There was a small Russian dance exhibit.

The place was so casual that the purse of the woman working on the spa area, which was adjacent to the Russian area, was just sitting on a table nearby. Fortunate that we did not have larceny on our minds.

For dinner, we decided to go to the famous Hattie’s, nee Hattie’s Chicken Shack. As we were going in, a contingent of folks led bty U.S. Senator Chuck Schumer were coming out. The chicken was good, but the macronini asnd cheese was fabulous. BTW, Hattie’s is on the lower left, a comic book store which I went into briefly is on the lower right and above that is the legendary Caffè Lena.

(Incidentally, these are right across the street from a nice Thai restaurant that ADD took Rocco Nigro and me to last year.)

The next morning we went to the National Museum of Racing and Hall of Fame Now THIS is a great museum! THIS is a hall of fame! And though I’m less interested in horse racing than dance, this is a place I could return to. There were three sets of plaques: for horses, jockeys anmd others, primarily trainers. Interesting exhibits, informative films. (Picture below is not from the Hall but an exhibit of a street vendor.)

There was soime sort of vendor event in the city’s civic center, and we managed to eat enough sample foods that we actually didn’t need to have lunch. Afterwards, we went up to Glens Falls to see the Hyde Collection. It’s part a couple’s actual former house. The living room had 1500 books, surrounded by works by Rembrandt, Degas, and Rubens. The kitchen featured 17th century German chairs and 17th century French table. You can read about the collectors’ philosophy for the eclectic collections throughout the house. Definitely worthwhile.

The gallery featured Thomas Chambers (1808-1869) born and died in England, who helped create the popular market of landscape painting. He spent much of his time in the United States including NYC, Baltimore, Boston and Albany (c. 1850) before returning to UK in 1865. Just didn’t much care for it.


Then we ate an extraordinary dinner at our inn; the horse above, BTW, is just outside the main entrance of the building. Each morning we also had a nice breakfast there.

Alas, after breakfast, we had to return from our little getaway. This was a most enjoyable time where we didn’t talk about the child all weekend but rather enjoyed each other’s company.

ROG

U is for the United States

I was thinking of the changes that the USCIS has made in the citizenship test to become a U.S. citizen. Just based on this sampling, the new test seem more vague.

TEST before October 1, 2008 – Sample U.S. Citizenship Test Questions:
1. How many stars are there on the US flag?
2. How many states are there in the Union?
3. What color are the stars on our flag?
4. What do the stars on the flag mean?
5. How many stripes are there on the flag?
6. What date is the Day of Independence?
7. The US achieved Independence from whom?
8. What country did we fight during the Revolutionary War?
9. Who was the first President of the United States?
10. What do we call a change of the Constitution?
All pretty straightforward, I think. (If you need the answers, e-mail me.)

REDESIGNED TEST – Sample U.S. Citizenship Test Questions:
1. Name one war fought by the United States in the 1900s.
OK, pretty easy. Well, unless you get all technical about it. If Congress is supposed to declare war, are the armed conflicts the US has had after WWII actually wars?
2. What did Susan B. Anthony do?
Well, I’m sure she DID lots of different things, such as eating breakfast. I know that fighting for women’s suffrage is the answer, but it feels awkwardly phrased.
3. What is one thing Benjamin Franklin is famous for?
Would philandering be an acceptable answer? Yeah, they want the almanac, electricity, the stove, eyewear, diplomat to France and that type of thing, but again, pretty open-ended.
4. There were 13 original states. Name three.
Pretty easy – just stay on the east coast and don’t pick Maine, Vermont or Florida.
5. What is one responsibility that is only for United States citizens?
Huh? Is this a reference to voting? If so, other people vote in their own countries and lots of people here don’t. If it’s serving on juries, lots of people get out that. Non-citizens serve in the military, and most citizens don’t.
6. What does the judicial branch do?
I get a lot of right-wing literature, so if someone wrote “make law”, they might very well think they’re right.
7. Name your U.S. Representative.
Now, THAT’S a good question. Mine’s Paul Tonko, freshman Democrat.
8. Who makes federal laws?
Unless you answer The Supreme Court, easy one.
9. What does the Constitution do?
Well it DOES a lot of things, including setting terms of government officials. Another amorphous question.
10. What is the supreme law of the land?
Ah, a tough but knowable question. Article VI of the Constitution of the United States contains the “supremacy clause,” which establishes that laws passed by Congress, treaties of the United States with other nations, and the Constitution “shall be the supreme Law of the Land.”

Here’s another sample test; looks rather old school, though. For new test guides, I’d go to the USCIS site.

I recently took one of those Could you pass the U.S. citizenship test? things on Facebook and got 19 out of 20; don’t know what I missed. Being an American, and hearing how some of my fellow citizens interpret things, I’ve long believed that non-Americans might well fare better on the citizenship test than those born in the USA.
***
Curious thing: I was riding my bike to church a week and a half ago and, as usual, checked out the license plates. understand that church is only 1.6 miles from my house, according to Mapquest. I saw plates from the states of MA, NJ, and VT; not at all unusual. I also saw plates from PA and FL, not rare. (Folks from Florida often come north for the summer.) But I also saw CA, DE, MD, MI, OH, RI, SC, TX, VA, and WI. It was not a college graduation weekend. Most peculiar.

ROG

S is for Swearing


There’s a podcast called Grammar Girl: Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing. She recently talked about Swear Words in Text. It’s interesting, as usual. One of the things I learned – or relearned, having heard it years ago, but forgotten – is that the use of a string of characters used to represent cursing – e.g. @#$%&! – is called a grawlix.

I’ve had long-running debates over the use of curse words, sometimes even with myself. On the one hand is the influence of the late comedian George Carlin, who when describing the NSFW seven words you can’t say on television. Why word A but not word B? Word C is bad but only in context. “There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are 7 you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is! 399,993…to 7. They must really be baaaad.”

On the other side, I’ve long been convinced that the indiscriminate use of cursing diminishes its efficacy. A couple personal tales:

About 20 years ago, I was tired and hanging out at my then-girlfriend’s house when she came back with some mutual friends. One of them told a joke I thought was offensive; it involved a Jamaican and his organ, and I don’t mean musical instrument. I didn’t say anything initially, but eventually, it bugged me so much that I said something to the teller of the tale. She immediately apologized. But her friend said, dismissively, “Oh, you don’t have a sense of humor.” To her, I yelled, “F*** you!”

[An alternative definition of grawlix is to “directly replace some letters in the swear word with asterisks. So instead of just typing random symbols, you replace a swear word with something like f***. That method usually leaves enough information so people can work out what the word is meant to be, but the offensive word isn’t actually typed.” You DO know what I said, don’t you?]

I’m telling this two-decades-old story to one of my work colleagues recently. I deliver the punchline and I thought her teeth would fall out. In the nearly two years she’s know me, she had never heard me use that word before. Which, I suppose, is the point: overuse of curse words makes them lose their efficacy.

At left: from Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter – Guilty Pleasures – would this be more effective without the grawlix? Some think so, but I do not.

This is not to say that I never swear. Nine years ago this week, I stepped on a nail that went through my sneaker. I am quite certain that a few expletives were uttered.

There was a period in my twenties where I used words that weren’t curses in American English, such as bloody and bollocks, but fortunately, that passed.

I guess I DO rail against the “everyone talks that way” mantra that seemed to be popular in some circles as some sort of justification of what seems to me to be lazy speaking and writing. I was reminded in the current Entertainment Weekly magazine that the rapper Eminen literally cursed out Will Smith for NOT using expletives, which I just thought was wrongheaded.

Oh, and there’s a five-year-old in my house who I DON’T curse in front of. I’ve been told, “She’ll hear it eventually anyway”; that is both true and irrelevant. I’m the parent; I’m modeling, dammit, er, darn it.

There’s a friend of mine, a good church-going fellow, who used to curse when he played racquetball, usually at himself; he called himself a MFCS. I’ve noticed since he stopped doing that recently, he plays better. Coincidence? Maybe.

Here’s a song Daddy Could Swear by Gladys Knight and the Pips Totally safe for work.

I have this friend I’ve known for about 50 years who uses on particular curse SO effectively, I have to laugh. The word starts with A and has seven letters. Speaking of which, that’s the title of this song by Beck. It is the juxtaposition of the musicality of the tune with the word which makes it oddly fascinating. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers cover this song on the She’s the One Soundtrack.

And, as I’ve noted, sometimes swearing IS appropriate. Go to the Arthur at AmeriNZ blog and click on the NSFW video there about homophobia. Not only might one say the language is justified, again the sweetness of the tune tends to be a fascinating counterpoint to the word.

R is for Rome

Don’t you just hate it when you can’t remember things? There was this TV show I used to watch regularly. I remembered just about everything about it: the producer -David E. Kelley; the cast, the network (CBS), the locale (the fictional town of Rome, Wisconsin), just about everything but its name: Picket Fences.

Before this program, Kelley may have been best known as the creator of a show about a doctor living with his family. Pretty standard fare, except that the doctor is not yet 21 and is conflicted between having fun with his teen peers and learning from his medical peers. This would be Doogie Howser, M.D., an ABC-TV sitcom starring Neil Patrick Harris. Kelley was also the head writer on L.A. Law., taking over from Steven Bochco, and introduced the memorable character of Rosalind Shays, played by Diana Muldaur.

Kelley, though, really got weird with Picket Fences, which dealt with small town life. The main characters were Jimmy Brock, the sheriff and his wife Jill, the town doctor, with their three children. Bizarre crimes and other odd things, including spontaneous human combustion take place in this seemingly idyllic place. Quoting an imdb contributor: “It seems that all the crimes that have occurred in the whole of the United States have at one point or another happened in Rome and they have to deal with it in their own quirky way.”

The show is the forerunner of Chicago Hope (1994-2000), Ally McBeal (1997-2002), The Practice (1997-2004), Boston Public (2000-2004), and Boston Legal (2004-2008).

I’ve noticed that many of the actors either continued working with Kelley and/or on something odd:
Tom Skerritt played sheriff Jimmy Brock. He was on the current show Brothers and Sisters; his character drowned on the first episode yet he still shows up occasionally.
Kathy Baker, played physician Jill Brock. She was the “hook lady” on Boston Public for about a dozen episodes and also appeared on episodes of other Kelley shows.
Holly Marie Combs played their oldest child, Kimberley. She’s best known for playing Piper on Charmed.
Lauren Holly played deputy Maxine before turns on Chicago Hope and NCIS.
Ray Walston was the town’s judge; he had a long and varied career, but is still best known as My Favorite Martian.
Fyvush Finkle was pain in the side defense attorney Douglas Wambaugh; he later played pain in the side teacher Harvey Lipschultz in Boston Public.

This is also the place I discovered Don Cheadle, who played D.A. John Littleton for a couple seasons before moving on to film fare such as Boogie Nights, Hotel Rwanda, and the Ocean’s Eleven franchise.

I have not seen this program since it first aired. Season 1 is available on DVD. I remember the show fondly, but will it still hold up?
***
And now, for something completely different, discussion of a different Rome:

Here’s the text.
***
Happy birthday to the Okie.

ROG

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