The Lydster at 3: T Minus 2


I asked a few people how I should celebrate Lydia’s upcoming birthday. My old buddy Pat from Kansas (the state, not the group) suggested that I do some timeline pictures. Good idea. These photos are all from 2004.


Someone else suggested I describe each of her years. Well, we have one of those books where we record everything: her first tooth,, her first step. But I’ll be darned if I could actually FIND it. Much of Lydia’s second and third years are recorded in this blog. But year one? It’s already of a bit of a blur. Except for a few things.


On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being totally unprepared, and 10 being totally prepared, in terms of childbirth, we were about a 9, thanks to our Bradley course.
On the same scale, in terms of child raising, we were about a minus 13. On day four, all she did was eat, sleep and scream. Our doula was helping with breasst feeding instructions, because the child was not latching on. Day 4 was the WORST. We were exhausted, frustrated, and seemingly totally incompetent at this parenting thing. We realize that we were being punished for every inappropriate thought, word, or deed that we had ever done. Payback was brutal.


Then, on day 5, she didn’t cry quite so much. Day 6 was worse than day 5, but nowhere as bad as day 4. Day 7 was a relative picnic. As we figured her out, we became more confident. Maybe she did, too.


Of course, it was not all easy. sleeping at night could be tricky for her, and therefore for us. I remember having a vacuum cleaner on just outside her room a couple nights. (Sidebar: I just read about someone who put out an album of appliance noises, including dishwashers, washers and dryers.)


Several people had told us that the car would be our salvation since she’d fall asleep in it. Well, yes and no. We’d get in the car, she’d cry for five minutes, sleep for one hour – and no more – then wail the rest of the way. This made trips to the grandparents in Oneonta (1 hour, 20 minutes) torturous for the last 15 minutes. Finally, and accidentally, we discovered that if I sang to her, and I mean pretty much constantly (Old McDonald with more animals than a zoo), she’d be placated until we got home.


She was crawling “early” by the book, so we thought maybe she’d walk early as well, but she was disinclined. Fortunately, we didn’t worry about it.


Carol was breastfeeding, so we were both happy when we started on other foods at six or seven months, me because I could be a greater part of the process. I specifically remember thay Lydia had 8 teeth at 8 months. I used to call her Buddha baby.

An old friend from college, who is my age, but who has two practically grown boys asked: How about – why is some snot green? (I didn’t know this until I became a parent.)
Well, I would, but I’m not sure, and from this piece about purulent rhinitis, other people aren’t sure, either:

The green colour is due to immune cells called neutrophils. These are the first cells to appear when bacteria start infecting the nasopharynx. Neutrophils will engulf the bacteria (phagocytosis) and begin to destroy them within themselves using potent digestive enzymes (amongst other things, another being hydrogen peroxide). One of these is lactoferrin and other enzymes are dependent on iron for their activity. The colouration therefore comes from the iron. Ferrous iron compounds are green. It turns yellow the bacteria have been around for a while and other cells start moving in and dying
Dr Martin Powell, Caerphilly, Wales

I agree with Dr Powell that is is the enzymes in neutrophils that give snot its green colour. However, I thought this was due to another powerful antimicrobial agent, peroxidase. Incidentally, this is the same enzyme that gives wasabi its green colour – a lovely thought for the next time you’re in Yo Sushi!
Unknown

Snot only goes green in the presence of infection. When white cells encounter germs they manufacture a large amount of an enzyme called myeloperoxidase which generates toxic compounds like bleach and hydrogen peroxide. Myeloperoxide is green because it contains a lot of iron, which you may remember from chemistry lessons is green in its ferrous form.
Ben Benjamin, Torquay, UK

Got that?



ROG

March Rambling

Yesterday, I was walking home from the drugstore carrying a couple bags, including a couple prescriptions plus bottles of ginger ale and cranberry juice for Carol, who had a couple wisdom teeth removed yesterday morning. This guy in his car yells out his window, something “doing with those f*****’ bags?”, looking at me. Then he giggled and drove away. I’m not sure why, but I’ve been a victim of that “yell and drive” before, in Albany, at least twice with a racial overtone. Sure I can ignore it, but I’d lying if I told you it didn’t bother me, more as a reflection of the inanity of human beings, rather than any real damage done to me.

Still, if I weren’t carrying items that slowed me down, I might have tried to catch up with this dude and ask him why he was being such a [end place for the digestive tract for an equine].

In fact, one time when I was a target of yell and drive, I was on my bicycle, and I did go after the car, which caught a traffic light. I got up to the car, pounded my fist on the trunk once, then pulled over to the passenger side, where the yeller was. He got all “hey, man, only kidding, man, it was a joke, man” on me. I said nothing as the car pulled away. That WAS fun, though.
***
There is this quite lovely woman I’ve seen on the bus. She is, as they say, “a woman of a certain age”, with gray hair. She had age lines but they looked (really) good on her. A couple days ago, I see her and she’s dyed her hair brown. Oddly, it made her look older, for the gray hairs, her face earned; the brunette ones, not so much.
***
High lead levels found in some Albany schools. This is not only somewhat distressing, but also a bit surprising. One of the schools is brand new (opened in January 2007) and is the school Lydia is likely to attend in a couple years.
***
There was an excellent story, written by a sixth grader, in the local paper about her peanut allergy. we’re going to make copies so that Lydia and the people around her will have a better idea what Lydia is/will be going through.
***
Clutter and mess trump clean and neat: a story after my own desk, er, heart.
***
Here’s a useful caffeine reference.
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My old pal David Brickman has one of his photos, “View of Arbor Hill Neighborhood looking North from Lark Street 1998,” which was purchased by the Albany Institute of History and Art last spring, now on exhibit in their “entry gallery,” where works from the vast permanent collection are showcased. If you are within reach, you can go to the Institute and have a look. Or, use the link to see the image on his website.
***
My daughter woke up screaming at 4 am yesterday from a nightmare. SHE went back to sleep; I didn’t. Then last night, I stayed up watching basketball (I got 3 out of 4 -Memphis won by 1 – ouch) until 12:30 am. Need caffeine. More tomorrow.

ROG

The Lydster, Part 35: Free to Be Me


When I started this blog, and specifically when I started writing about my daughter in this blog, I had planned to write more about how she was affecting me, rather than just about her. I may have fallen away from that. Here’s a slight return to form.

One of the things I know is true about me, with her, is that I have, apparently, no inhibitions when it comes to caring for her. We all went to church last Sunday morning – me, Carol, Lydia and her doll, which is named Baby. We all had nametags on, including Baby. Lydia wanted me to hold Baby for a while, as we stood in the communion circle, so I did so. The little girl across the way thought this was mighty funny, apparently; a grown man with a doll with a nametag during communion (no, Baby did not partake).

I remember when Lydia was five or six months old, and she was doing SOMETHING to make me crazy. I was so upset with her that I plopped her in the middle of the living room floor; Daddy needed a timeout. I’m sure she’ll make me crazy again, but I find that I’m a lot more patient with her now, even as she does stuff that would have driven me crazy a couple years earlier. She’s afraid of the monsters in her room, reportedly a typical childhood phase. Her mother and I just drive them from the room, but the going-to-bed process seems to have lengthened considerably in the last month. (I wonder if this is post-surgical trauma for Lydia.) Anyway, I’m more tired – again, and I had been doing so well – but it doesn’t annoy me. Concern, a little bit.

Anyway, she gives me lots of goodies to make it all worthwhile. Happy 2 11/12, Lydia!

The Name Game

There are 15 people in my office. Two of them had already planned to take yesterday off. Two called in sick, six called in to take vacation, and five showed up. I was in the latter category. A dedicated follower of dedication, or foolishness…
***
I was reading one of those trends in baby names articles, so I went to Social Security Popular Baby Names section and generated these charts.

Popularity in 1880
Rank/Male name/Percent of total males/Female name/Percent of total females
1 John 8.1525% Mary 7.2389%
2 William 8.0512% Anna 2.6677%
3 James 5.0052% Emma 2.0520%
Meaning that almost one in six of all male babies born that year were these two names. In fact, there were 14 boys named Wm, which I assume was just an abbreviation for William.
Popularity in 1900
1 John 6.0608% Mary 5.2562%
2 William 5.2889% Helen 1.9948%
3 James 4.4684% Anna 1.9237%
John was #1 from 1880 to 1923, and still in the Top 10 until 1986. It’s now 18th.
William is now #11.
Popularity in 1950
1 James 4.7319% Linda 4.5717%
2 Robert 4.5926% Mary 3.7216%
3 John 4.3649% Patricia 2.7247%
Mary, which was #1 until 1946, #2 from 1947 to 1952, and #1 again from 1953 to 1961, fell out of the top 10 in 1971, and was 73rd in 2005.
Popularity in 2005
1 Jacob 1.2145% Emily 1.1818%
2 Michael 1.1175% Emma 1.0027%
3 Joshua 1.0912% Madison 0.9658%
Even though certain names are MOST popular these days – Madison is STILL there? The movie Splash was two DECADES ago! – none dominate like John, William and Mary did 125 years ago.

I decided to look at some timelines for particular monikers, names picked TOTALLY at random:

Popularity of the male name Roger
Year of birth Rank
2005 417
2004 414
2003 396
2002 389
2001 371
2000 373
1999 358
1998 347
1997 329
1996 285
1995 278
1994 264
1993 253
1992 214
1991 231
1990 209
1989 196
1988 180
1987 176
1986 167
1985 159
1984 157
1983 145
1982 127
1981 120
1980 134
1979 132
1978 120
1977 115
1976 103
1975 97
1974 93
1973 84
1972 78
1971 71
1970 61
1969 59
1968 55
1967 53
1966 51
1965 49
1964 49
1963 53
1962 48
1961 47
1960 47
1959 47
1958 47
1957 42
1956 41
1955 37
1954 34
1953 31 (0.6581%, 13,144)
1952 30
1951 29
1950 27
1949 25
1948 24
1947 25
1946 23
1945 22
1944 23
1943 24
1942 25
1941 25
1940 26
1939 28
1938 31
1937 36
1936 35
1935 36
1934 39
1933 48
1932 50
1931 53
1930 57
1929 64
1928 71
1927 84
1926 89
1925 90
1924 93
1923 95
1922 96
1921 99
1920 103
1919 124
1918 116
1917 120
1916 129
1915 124
1914 126
1913 139
1912 138
1911 139
1910 171
1909 180
1908 187
1907 169
1906 194
1905 226
1904 194
1903 189
1902 210
1901 227
1900 219
1899 199
1898 202
1897 232
1896 215
1895 207
1894 225
1893 254
1892 241
1891 217
1890 229
1889 232
1888 259
1887 259
1886 308
1885 324
1884 277
1883 346
1882 304
1881 305
1880 349
I wonder if its popularity in the years before and after WWII had to do with Roger, Over and Out?

Popularity of the female name Carol
2005 753
2004 844
2003 881
2002 851
2001 834
2000 726
1999 742
1998 658
1997 607
1996 565
1995 525
1994 493
1993 496
1992 411
1991 384
1990 350
1989 339
1988 331
1987 319
1986 310
1985 292
1984 267
1983 253
1982 262
1981 238
1980 232
1979 224
1978 203
1977 198
1976 171
1975 149
1974 137
1973 120
1972 109
1971 92
1970 71
1969 55
1968 48
1967 47
1966 48
1965 42
1964 36
1963 33
1962 28
1961 24
1960 23
1959 22
1958 20
1957 18
1956 16
1955 15
1954 15
1953 16
1952 12
1951 11
1950 9
1949 8
1948 8
1947 6
1946 5
1945 5
1944 5
1943 5
1942 5
1941 4
1940 6
1939 6
1938 6
1937 6
1936 10
1935 11
1934 14
1933 20
1932 32
1931 46
1930 54
1929 63
1928 77
1927 106
1926 113
1925 119
1924 132
1923 139
1922 159
1921 166
1920 182
1919 200
1918 196
1917 215
1916 215
1915 243
1914 250
1913 254
1912 246
1911 291
1910 285
1909 302
1908 294
1907 328
1906 338
1905 349
1904 330
1903 389
1902 357
1901 378
1900 392
1899 361
1898 391
1897 455
1896 480
1895 404
1894 519
1893 503
1892 504
1891 526
1890 510
1889 443
1888 561
1887 590
1886 610
1885 661
1884 800
1883 a
1882 827
1881 513
1880 685
a Not in top 1,000 names for indicated year of birth
A top 10 name for 15 years around WWII. Can’t help but wonder if it has something to do with the Christmas carol. In the year of Carol’s birth, there were 16,651 other Carols, which meant 0.8027% of the female names.

Popularity of the female name Lydia
2005 119
2004 126 (0.1295%, 2,598)
2003 127
2002 137
2001 140
2000 149
1999 149
1998 153
1997 160
1996 175
1995 173
1994 188
1993 206
1992 205
1991 214
1990 206
1989 219
1988 229
1987 224
1986 233
1985 212
1984 217
1983 239
1982 240
1981 267
1980 287
1979 296
1978 327
1977 312
1976 310
1975 333
1974 317
1973 329
1972 319
1971 315
1970 307
1969 320
1968 301
1967 288
1966 270
1965 263
1964 258
1963 246
1962 227
1961 214
1960 205
1959 210
1958 207
1957 206
1956 205
1955 200
1954 198
1953 201
1952 213
1951 225
1950 223
1949 214
1948 209
1947 230
1946 239
1945 223
1944 233
1943 227
1942 226
1941 248
1940 234
1939 237
1938 244
1937 239
1936 237
1935 242
1934 249
1933 237
1932 246
1931 236
1930 233
1929 223
1928 219
1927 217
1926 222
1925 206
1924 217
1923 204
1922 199
1921 197
1920 184
1919 186
1918 180
1917 170
1916 168
1915 169
1914 168
1913 154
1912 152
1911 142
1910 152
1909 142
1908 140
1907 130
1906 132
1905 123
1904 112
1903 116
1902 112
1901 103
1900 104
1899 97
1898 88
1897 83
1896 91
1895 85
1894 85
1893 81
1892 93
1891 86
1890 78
1889 83
1888 85
1887 76
1886 87
1885 77
1884 80
1883 75
1882 76
1881 77
1880 77
Lydia as a name is becoming as popular, percentagewise, in the early 21st century as it was in the beginning of the LAST century.

“Note: Rank 1 is the most popular, rank 2 is the next most popular, and so forth. Name data are from Social Security card applications for births that occurred in the United States.”

Another site for this type of stuff, with rather nifty Java-enhanced graphics, is here, with its related blog, here.

***
Oh, the picture above is Comet Hale-Bopp Images – May 1997, taken by Lydia Green, probably no relation.

The Adenoidectomy


I’m looking for the proper analogy.

You know when you go to a really fine restaurant, and the food is really great, first rate, but you can’t find the waiter to fill your water glass or get/pay the check? Or when you order something online, and it is everything you wanted, but the shipping charge in the fine print is much more than you anticipated? Well, neither of these is exactly spot on, but I’ll leave it there.

The process for the surgery starts with the phone call to the surgeon’s office, which Carol tried several times unsuccessfully, before I called, and got the office on the first attempt. I was told by a very nice person all that would be taking place in the next eight weeks, only some of which actually happened.

For instance, we needed to have Lydia’s pediatrician do a physical and fill out the surgeon’s forms within the month before the surgery. This would mean we’d need to get the form in the mail, but that didn’t happen until we called again, three weeks before the surgery; these did arrive promptly, so that we could schedule the pediatric visit.

I was told we’d be getting a phone call two weeks before the surgery. Well, no, not until Carol called them. We did, however, get the promised sheet of paper about the pre-surgical procedure, though it was a bit cryptic in places.

Carol took Lydia to the presurg visit a week before the procedure, and that was quite positive. Carol explained would be happening to Lydia, and even got her a couple books, one with Curious George and one with Madeleine, about hospitals. I wonder if they were too intense, for Lydia had a couple nightmares during that last week. She did, though, like playing with the doctor kit; she particularly liked giving me a “shot”.

A couple days before the surgery was scheduled, we were concerned that her coughing might preclude Lydia from having the surgery that was desired so that she would be less susceptible to colds. That would have been ironic, but as long as she didn’t have a fever, and she didn’t, she was good to go.

The day of the surgery:

The procedure is scheduled for 10:40 a.m, and we’re supposed to be there at 9:10. Lydia can’t eat anything the day or the surgery, and we think this will be a problem, since what she usually wants to do is go for yogurt and/or cereal first thing. She also can’t drink anything three hours before the surgery. She wakes up at 7:40, and we try to encourage her to drink something, to no success. Perhaps she’s internalized the no food or drink rule.

We get to the place at 9:17, and we were already missed by the surgical team, apparently. So we waited a few minutes and then I met with the young woman who would take the insurance information. She was very nice. In her office were 8 by 10 pictures of Jon Bon Jovi, one with Richie Sambora, and, hanging prominently on another wall was a huge framed pic of JBJ. Somehow, I thought it was sweet that she could personalize her office so.

We get led upstairs by a nice woman named Lydia, as it turns out. We go into another waiting room for a short time, then to a pre-op room, where the very nice nurse and the anesthesiologist both check her out. I met the surgeon, who I’ll call Jason, because that’s his name, a very affable man, but how old IS he? I think I have socks that are his senior.

Lydia was given a nasal spray administered by machine to clear her air passages, then an inhaled drug to relax her. The latter made her really loopy (read: stoned).

So after we read her some stories, another nurse came by, introduced herself. Then, contrary to what Carol was told – and what Carol told Lydia, that Carol could accompany Lydia into the surgical room – the nurse carried off Lydia to surgery. Lydia was screaming, Carol was crying, and I was bewildered.

We went to the waiting room, where my parents-in-law were sitting. That was 11:20. By 11:40, Dr. Jason came out; the surgery was very successful. Her adenoids were “a mess”. By noon, Dr. Jason was out again, telling another family that he’d removed the tonsils of their family member; he is very efficient, but one didn’t feel rushed, as he answered any and all questions.

Carol and I go to recovery. Lydia is conscious, but crying uncontrollably, even when Carol holds and rocks her. She settles down with a Popsicle, but the waterworks begin again when we go to post-op. Eventually, she becomes more like herself. Around 1:30, I get Carol and me some food, with my mother-in-law helping to dress Lydia. We got a couple prescriptions, one for pain, one was an antibiotic. Then the in-laws bought some Boston Market meals for all of us, which served as comfort food. Carol and I were exhausted, as though we had done heavy manual labor.

So, the surgery went well. Most of the folks were great, including the surgeon and most of the staff. But at the pivotal point, the experience was…disappointing. More so, because that night, Lydia asked her mother, “Why did you leave me?” As parents, bumbling through as we do, we don’t always get it right, but we do try to be honest with her. That nuance between being mistaken and telling an untruth isn’t entirely clear. Another in one of those highly overrated “life lessons” is to never promise what you don’t control, and probably not even then.

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