meme Archives - Page 13 of 28 - Ramblin' with Roger

It’s a Story Virus

Until I was recently infected, I was blissfully ignorant of the story virus. To wit:

Here’s what I would like to do. I want to create a story that branches out in a variety of different, unexpected ways. I don’t know how realistic it is, but that’s what I’m aiming for. Hopefully, at least one thread of the story can make a decent number of hops before it dies out.

If you are one of the carriers of this story virus (i.e. you have been tagged and choose to contribute to it), you will have one responsibility, in addition to contributing your own piece of the story: you will have to tag at least one person that continues your story thread. So, say you tag five people. If four people decide to not participate, it’s okay, as long as the fifth one does. And if all five participate, well that’s five interesting threads the story spins off into.

Not a requirement, but something your readers would appreciate: to help people trace your own particular thread of the narrative, it will be helpful if you include links to the chapters preceding yours.

The bus was more crowded than usual. It was bitterly cold outside, and I hadn’t prepared for it. I noticed that a fair number of the riders were dressed curiously. As I glanced around, I stretched my feet and kicked up against a large, heavy cardboard box laying under the seat in front of me. (Splotchy)

Its owner, a fat shifty-looking hillbilly, slouched uncomfortably under the weight of his Bulgarian army surplus wool coat and cap. I could tell he wasn’t cut out for this weather. He jerked around, almost spastic, when he felt the box tap against his feet. He gulped and stared at me bug-eyed, one obscene rivulet of sweat running down his temple, down along his jaw, finally disappearing somewhere between his second chin and the fake fur collar of his coat.

Right away, and for no good reason, he pissed me off. Bubs)

He would not stop staring at me. I could hear his wheezing breath. I could smell every stinking minute of his sputtering life. My muscles tensed.

We were a little isolated from the rest of the riders. I looked around. Apart from a couple greasy-looking hippies stealing glances in my direction, everyone was in their own dazed world. Another rivulet of sweat began the long journey down the hillbilly’s fat face. He licked his lips.

Enough was enough. I shot my arm up and popped him right between the eyes, snapping his head back. He slumped forward. I felt my anger slowly recede. I reached over him, took the cap off his head and placed it on my own. It smelled like a slaughterhouse, but it would keep me warm.

In the corner of my eye, I noticed the hippies making their way over to me. The man, wearing a dirty poncho and sporting a handlebar mustache, sat down in my seat. I reflexively scooted over to not have him in my lap. The girl, a smallish brunette wearing heavy black eyeliner and a shapeless green coat, sat behind me.

“You see, Snow?” the man said. “I knew he was the one. Did you see that jab?”

“Whatever,” Snow said.

“That was great, man. Snow thought the guy in front of you was the one.”

He must have spotted confusion in my eyes. “We saw the box, but we didn’t know if it was yours.” The man smiled broadly. “I’m Rain. You’re Leaf, right?”

I looked at him more closely. He was wearing a shoulder holster under his poncho. He had deep green eyes that were sharp and serious. The smile left his face as abruptly as it had appeared. “You better get the box ready.” ( Splotchy)

I looked him deep in the eyes. There was something familiar there. Something from…

It hit me.

“Dad?” SamuraiFrog.

“What you talkin’ about, punk?”

“You’re…my Dad. I’ve seen the pictures.”

“The pictures. WHAT pictures?”

“the pictures of you and my Mom, Sally Swinton.”

“Sally! I remember Sally. She was a good one, she was. Whatever happened with her?”

Now, here’s where I’m supposed to make other people’s lives miserable by tagging them. I’ll take no offense if you opt out, but I’m thinking:
Kelly who did one of those November novels
Uthaclena who likes to write
Splotchy who essentially got me into this mess
Jacquandor who’s written a lot of stuff
If anyone else feels like it, PLEASE do it.

Yet another purloined meme

SamauraiFrog strikes again:

1. Started my own blog
Hmm. I started about five of them.

2. Slept under the stars
A lot as a kid. We used to go camping. I never much liked camping because of the bugs, but being under the stars was nice.
Actually, my favorite “under the stars” story involves my father driving us, just the two of us, from Binghamton, NY to Lake George. We hit a wrong turn and ended up out of gas near a place called Speculator. My father went to someone’s house and got us enough gas to get to the next town. But before we drove off, we just sat on the car looking at the stars, which seemed HUGE in this rural area.

3. Played in a band
Technically yes, but only once or twice in junior high. I was playing percussion. I haven’t the patience for it. You wait 72 measures then hit the gong or the triangle.

4. Visited Hawaii
No, and it’s probably a contributing factor to my breakup with my now wife in the mid 1990s. She’d gotten some important insurance designation and it was going to be awarded in Hawaii. She wanted me to go. I wanted to go. But I had a boss that wasn’t even going to let me go to the ASBDC (work) conference in New Orleans at the very same time because there’d be too many of us (3 of 7) out of the office. At the very last moment, boss let me go to N.O., mostly so I could help schlep the equipment for boss’s presentation. Girlfriend thinks that if I had petitioned to go to Hawaii, I would have been as successful; I knew boss well enough to know that was not the case.

5. Watched a meteor shower
Yes

6. Given more than I can afford to charity
Occasionally

7. Been to Disneyland/world
No, and I’ve been to Orlando.

8. Climbed a mountain
1994, in Utah, on the spur of the moment, unprepared. Got to the top, literally almost died. Came down, tore the meniscus in my left knee about halfway down. Practically crawled back to the hotel.

9. Held a praying mantis
No.

10. Sung a solo
Often as a child. I sang “I Love You Truly” at more than one wedding at the church I grew up in. But I’d prefer singing harmony – singing harmony by oneself seems to make some people uncomfortable.

11. Bungee jumped
Not gonna happen.

12. Visited Paris
I’d like to.

13. Watched lightning at sea
I was on the shore in Galveston, TX but yes.

14. Taught myself an art from scratch
Almost certainly not

15. Adopted a child
No, though when we were “trying” and it wasn’t happening, we talked seriously about it, and in fact even went to some event. I STILL get their e-mails.

16. Had food poisoning
Oh, yeah.

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
Never been there, though I’ve been by it on the Staten Island Ferry.

18. Grown my own vegetables
Yes, mostly tomatoes, though not recently. I used to help my grandparents with their extensive garden.

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
Only online.

20. Slept on an overnight train
I’ve been on a train that gets to Charlotte, NC about 4:30 a.m. I slept, but not in a sleeping car. I love trains.

21. Had a pillow fight
With the daughter.

22. Hitchhiked
It was my primary form of transportation from 1971 to 1978. The stories I could tell…

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
Well, I have 139 sick days available. So, evidently not too often, or not often enough. I have taken off a day when I wasn’t ill, but was just dragged out, but not so I could go play instead.

24. Built a snow fort
Must have

25. Held a lamb
Think so

26. Gone skinny dipping
Yeah and almost got arrested once.

27. Run a Marathon
No, just a 5K.

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
Never been to Venice.

29. Seen a total eclipse
Of the moon, yes.

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
Often. The one benefit of my current office is if there is a visible sunset (as opposed to just gray clouds), i see it.

31. Hit a home run
Yup.

32. Been on a cruise
No.

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
Yes, more than once, the first time with my parents and sisters. then we went to see this floral clock.

34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors
If by my ancestors, you mean my great-great-grandmother, then yes. My grandmother lived in that house when I was growing up in Binghamton, NY.

35. Seen an Amish community
Yes, mostly in Pennsylvania.

36. Taught myself a new language
My high school French is awful.

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
The question presupposes that money is the root of satisfaction. I’m not as poor as I was, when I had no health insurance, so, sure.

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
No.

39. Gone rock climbing
Yes.

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
In pictures, yes.

41. Sung karaoke
No.

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
Only on video.

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
Well, pizza and sandwiches, yes.

44. Visited Africa
No.

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
Yes.

46. Been transported in an ambulance
Yes, when I was 19.

47. Had my portrait painted
No, but a caricaturist has drawn me.

48. Gone deep sea fishing
No.

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
No.

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
Only in my dreams.

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
Snorkeling once, in Barbados, on our honeymoon.

52. Kissed in the rain
Yes.

53. Played in the mud
As a kid.

54. Gone to a drive-in theater
A LOT as a kid.

55. Been in a movie
Not the kind you see in the theater.

56. Visited the Great Wall of China
Only by watching TV.

57. Started a business
Well, technically, yes. I sold my comics but never really did anything else and dissolved it.

58. Taken a martial arts class
No.

59. Visited Russia
No, but my wife’s been to Ukraine.

60. Served at a soup kitchen
Yes, years ago.

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
Yes, got suckered by some niece or girlfriend’s daughter.

62. Gone whale watching
Yes, and saw a whale.

63. Got flowers for no reason
Yes.

64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
Yes, I’ve had my blood drawn so many times now (16-gallon pin last month) that I’ve actually developed scar tissue. I do it for the need. I never watch, though. And I do it despite the bigotry that bans gay men from donated, as I discussed at length a couple years ago.

65. Gone sky diving
It never made sense to me to jump out of a perfectly working airplane.

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
No.

67. Bounced a check
Yes, not intentionally, and not lately. I keep too much in my checking account as a paranoid response to this.

68. Flown in a helicopter
No.

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
No.

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
Yes, more than once. More impressive in person than I imagined.

71. Eaten Caviar
Yes. Don’t like it.

72. Pieced a quilt
No.

73. Stood in Times Square
I lived in NYC for four months in 1977, so yes.

74. Toured the Everglades
No.

75. Been fired from a job
No.

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
No.

77. Broken a bone
2008- rib on the middle of my left side.

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
No. A slow motorcycle, yes.

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
No.

80. Published a book
I worked for a company (FantaCo) that published several books.

81. Visited the Vatican
No.

82. Bought a brand new car
No, but Carol’s last car (not the current one) was new; she bought it from the company after she left her job.

83. Walked in Jerusalem
Yes.

84. Had my picture in the newspaper
When I was 5 or 6, I was singing “O Come All Ye Faithful”. When I was 8, I was marginally involved in some worthy case. More recently, the Times Union sometimes excerpts my blog in the print paper and that comes with a picture.

85. Read the entire Bible
In 1977, 1980-something, 1996. I’m overdue to do it again.

86. Visited the White House
No.

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
No.

88. Had chickenpox
Yes.

89. Saved someone’s life
Performed a Heimlich on a woman choking on some meat. Ran out into traffic, scooped up some toddler and ran back. So maybe.

90. Sat on a jury
No, I went down to the courthouse but didn’t make the cut.

91. Met someone famous
Earl Warren, Rod Serling, Anita Baker. Briefly: Nelson Rockefeller, Randy Newman. Probably others. Been in the same room as Mike Tyson and Jack Nicholson at the same time. Is Alex Trebek famous?

92. Joined a book club
For a time, but I’m lousy with negative option (they send you the book/record unless you say no), so not anymore.

93. Lost a loved one
More than a few of them.

94. Had a baby
By “having a baby”, does this mean that I actually bore the child, then no. But I did see my daughter being born.

95. Seen the Alamo in person
No.

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
No, but I have been to Salt Lake City.

97. Been involved in a law suit
Only those cool class action things. Once got a check for $4.

98. Owned a cell phone
Yes. But I don’t use it. I don’t give out the number. I don’t even KNOW the number without looking it up. It’s for emergencies or to tell the wife or work I’ll be late.

99. Been stung by a bee
More than once, and on one occasion, multiple times as a kid.

100. Ridden an elephant
No, but I would.

ROG

Horror films? Not for me

One of the overriding problems I had in my later years at FantaCo in the late 1980s was that we were putting out product that I was selling that I did not enjoy. It wasn’t just the Freddy Kruger masks and the Freddy Kruger gloves (plastic, not real) and the Jason Voorhis masks that bothered me. It was all the Herschell Gordon Lewis related material that ewe published that I didn’t read and yet from which I was actually beginning to make a reasonably decent wage that ultimately caused me to quit. It’s not that I had a moral objection to them; it was that I just didn’t enjoy a lot of gruesomeness. I’ve never seen a Sam Peckinpah film, for example. And after seeing A Clockwork Orange, The Godfather and Catch-22 in a short time period, I pretty much swore off movies rated R for violence for nearly a decade. So it’s a miracle that I’ve seen ANY of the movies of the top horror movies. A number of people did this, but I first saw it at Tom the Dog’s.

1.The Exorcist. William Friedkin (1973) – certainly I’ve seen large chunks of this movie at home on TV. Oy.
2.The Shining. Stanley Kubrick (1980) – this movie I actually saw in the movies. And I HATED it, NOT because it was gruesome but because Jack Nicholson’s character seemed to be going crazy when he and Shelly Duval are having their first meeting with Barry Nelson. So I believe NONE of what follows from Nicholson, especially the cutesy “Here’s Johnny!” It felt like Jack doing Jack and I disliked it on that point. Actually thought the excessive amount of blood was laughable, not scary or gory.
3.Alien. Ridley Scott (1979) – saw this in the theater and LIKED it
4.The Silence of the Lambs. Jonathan Demme (1991) – was at my parents’ house and one or both of my sisters was watching it on HBO; I bailed fairly early
5.Saw. James Wan (2004) – now here’s a movie I just will never see
6.Halloween. John Carpenter (1978) – did see large parts of this on TV
7.A Nightmare on Elm Street. Wes Craven (1984) – only small parts of this
8.Ring (Ringu). Hideo Nakata (1998) – neither version
9.The Wicker Man. Robin Hardy (1973) -no
10.The Omen. Richard Donner (1976) -no, still in my no R rated period

11.The Birds. Alfred Hitchcock (1963) – this I saw at some revival theater, and it STILL scares me
12.The Thing. John Carpenter (1982) – no
13.Lost Boys. Joel Schumacher (1987) – don’t think I avoided it, just didn’t see
14.Dawn of the Dead. George A Romero (1978) – always intended to see this, actually
15.The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Tobe Hooper (1974) – oddly enough, this as well. Someday.
16.Jaws. Steven Spielberg (1975) – no, and I feel culturally deprived.
17.The Blair Witch Project. Daniel Myrick & Eduardo Sanchez (1999) – no. might.
18.An American Werewolf in London. John Landis (1981) – no, but still might.
19.Se7en. David Fincher (1995) – probably won’t.
20.Poltergeist. Tobe Hooper (1982) – may someday.
21.The Amityville Horror. Stuart Rosenberg (1979) – probably won’t.
22.Candyman. Bernard Rose (1992) no
23.Scream. Wes Craven (1996) no
24.Carrie. Brian De Palma (1976) probably will someday.
25.Friday the 13th. Sean S Cunningham (1980) certainly I’ve seen parts of it.
26.Final Destination. James Wong (2000) – nope
27.The Evil Dead. Sam Raimi (1981) – probably not
28.Hellraiser. Clive Barker (1987) – nope
29.Hostel. Eli Roth (2005) – heck, no, any more than I’d see Saw I to infinity. This played three blocks from my house and I had zero interest.
30.Salem’s Lot. Mikael Salomon (2004) – maybe some day.
31.The Descent. Neil Marshall (2005) – don’t know this
32.The Hills Have Eyes. Wes Craven (1977) – maybe some day.
33.Wolf Creek. Greg McLean (2005) – don’t know this. Tom got bored.
34.Misery. Rob Reiner (1991) – this movie I actually saw in the movie theater and liked, because it feels so normal on the surface. Around this time, someone told me that they were my biggest fan, not having seen the movie or read the book, and it freaked me out!
35.Rosemary’s Baby. Roman Polanski (1968) – saw this in New Paltz, NY in 1971. Happy memories. Oh, it was the date I was on.
36.Child’s Play. Tom Holland (1989) – don’t know
37.The Orphanage. Juan Antonio Bayona (2008) -don’t know, but I’m guessing not.
38.The Entity. Sidney J Furie (1981) – no, but I might
39.Nosferatu. FW Murnau (1922) – seen segments, not the whole thing
40.Night of the Living Dead. George A. Romero (1968) – feel as though I SHOULD see it
41.House on Haunted Hill. William Malone (2000) – don’t know
42.The Haunting. Robert Wise (1963) – no, but not of any real avoidance.
43.It. Tommy Lee Wallace (1990) – no, and it just didn’t look that good in the previews.
44.Audition. Takashi Miike (1999) – don’t know.
45.The Changeling. Peter Medak (1980) -heard of, but don’t really know
46.The Mist. Frank Darabont (2008) – probably won’t
47.Suspiria. Dario Argento (1977) – probably won’t
48.The Vanishing. George Sluizer (1993) – probably won’t
49.Shutter. Masayuki Ochiai (2008) – don’t know
50.Planet Terror. Robert Rodriguez (2007) – now this I did actually avoid when it was part of Grindhouse

So, I’d say I REALLY saw four, all with one word titles, excluding articles: Shining, Birds, Alien, Misery. I should probably add Exorcist. Five out of 50. Probably will double someday.

ROG

Seven Random Facts, then Seven More

I have been tagged by Rose from World Outside My Window who wants to know seven random facts about me.

First, the rules:

1) Link to the person who tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
2) Share 7 facts about yourself.
3) Tag 7 random people and include links to their blogs.
4) Let each person know they have been tagged and comment on their blog.

Seven random facts about Roger Green.

1. I’m never used to be a morning person, but my wife is. I adapted.
2. When I was about 10 or 11, my sisters and I all got kittens. Mine was Tiger, Leslie’s was Taffy and Marcia’s was Tony. Tiger got hit by a car and was killed. Marcia, who was 5 or 6, thought this was terribly funny. So not only was I sad because of the loss, but I had suppressed anger toward my baby sister; I mean, I knew she was just a kid, so what could I do? Why, rat her out to my parents, who did talk to her.
3. I never return things to a store unless the items don’t work; I’m loath to shop in the first place and returning something just adds to that. The last thing I returned was a lawn mower to Sears because it costs $200 and had stopped running after two or three uses. The salesperson was very good at trying to make ME feel crummy about bringing it back.
4. I have more stuffed animals than my daughter does. Though she has appropriated some of them, I still consider them mine.
5. If I were wealthy, I would hire a masseuse.
6. I’m very good at packing our car trunk. But my spatial strength does not extend to whole rooms, where my wife asks me to visualize what a room would look like with X furniture here and Y furniture there; I have no idea.
7. I can make a kazoo noise without a kazoo, unless I’m dehydrated.

Then I was tagged with SAME meme by Wayne John. So, in both cases, all of my answers were inspired by THEIR answers, however tenuously.

But before I get to those, Neil Patrick Harris solves the problem with the economy, also featuring other people you might have heard of:

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Now, back to my regularly scheduled blog.

1. At some basic level, I’m a computerphobe. Not so much, though, that people who know even less about he things than I do don’t ask me for help, and usually I can.
2. When I was single, I enjoy being buried in work and having (too many) things to do. Now, not so much.
3. I tend to be very shy in social situations, so I often am doing busywork (setting the table, watch the child, or whatnot) to avoid actually dealing with people.
4. My college major was political science. Not only does it help me be a better citizen, but it’s been useful as a librarian.
5. As a bicyclist and pedestrian, I’ve spent a lot of time sussing out bad driving behavior. Often, while my wife is driving, I’ll say, “that guy is going to pull out ahead of you, and about 95% of the time, I’m right.>
6. I hate cell phones. I don’t need to be that connected, nor do I really want to be. I do own one, but NO ONE knows the number; I use it to call 911 or my wife or work if I’m going to be late, not to be called. I also forget to charge it.
7. I have no tattoos. My wife has an antipathy for them. I don’t, but I’ve not been particularly motivated in that direction even before I was married.

I don’t have seven people to tag, let alone 14, so I guess I’ll pick foure I’ve never picked and one I often pick: Demeur, Rebecca at 40 Forever, Chris Black, Earthly Explorations and the perennial, Kelly Brown.
ROG

Christmas meme

From Johnny B.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?

I admit it; I have issues with wrapping paper. Specifically, when I was a child, I thought it would be a good idea, instead of wasting money on wrapping paper, to wrap my presents in the comic section of my local newspaper. Now I’d be seen as environmentally sensitive, but then I was mocked. I’ll get over it. Eventually. Maybe.

2. Real tree or artificial?

We’ve actually gone without; we feared a toddler would pull it down on herself. Last year and this, a real one.

3. When do you put up the tree?

It varies widely. It’s been two weeks before, Christmas Eve and everything in between.

4. When do you take the tree down?

Often on New Year’s Day, or a day or two after, though, when it went up on Christmas Eve, it stayed up until Epiphany.

5. Do you like eggnog?

Especially with amaretto. Pour it correctly and it gets all swirly.

6. Favorite gifts received as a child?

My Johnny Seven OMA – one-man army. It was so cool, it’s a surprise I became a pacifist. I was watching the Tonight show and Tom Hanks was talking about having one when HE was a kid.

7. Hardest person to buy for?
Johnny’s answer:
My mother. She has no hobbies, has everything she needs, and if she doesn’t have something, she can go out and buy it for herself. It’s an ordeal every year to come up with something…but hey, it’s my Ma! I try hard every year.
That’s about right.

8. Easiest person to buy for?

My daughter. She’s not that greedy, either.

9. Do you have a nativity scene?

A couple of them. They don’t always actually get displayed, more out of time crunch than anything.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?

Last year, probably neither. We HOPE to mail this year.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?

Some work exchange present of a redneck daily calendar.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?

I resisted it for SO long, I’ll have to give props to It’s a Wonderful Life. Much darker than I would have imagined.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?

I buy when the spirit strikes. I’ve bought in July and after Christmas for distant relatives who don’t care as long as the present arrives by Epiphany.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?

Probably, but I don’t have a specific recollection.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?

Candy canes.

16. Lights on the tree?

White.

17. Favorite Christmas song?

Coventry Carol, though I have a great fondness for a song by Julie Andrews called The Bells of Christmas.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?

Usually visit the in-laws in Oneonta, an hour away, but this year, it’s at our house.

19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?

All nine.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?

Angel.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?

Christmas morning.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?

Listening to boring debates about how “they” have taken the Christ out of Christmas. My Jehovah’s Witness acquaintance notes that they don’t celebrate Christmas at all because it’s rooted in pagan winter solstice traditions. He wouldn’t put it this way, but one could make the case, by his definition, that most people have taken the Christ, who probably wasn’t a Capricorn, out of Christmas.
Oh, yeah, and the lower headline:

My friend Lynne recommends that people go to visit the Rev Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color?

I like red things.

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner?

Traditional turkey/mashed potatoes.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year?

I don’t know. I mean besides the traditional Hess truck and World Almanac. Oh and the new Macca album.

26. Who is most likely to respond to this?

I’m guessing the near-twin Gordon.
***
For those of you not in the Albany-Schenectady area, you can only imagine how utterly furious I am about this story: Ex-Schenectady Police Chief Gregory T. Kaczmarek and his wife, Lisa, are expected to admit their roles in a drug ring that supplied Schenectady streets with cocaine and heroin. I lived in Schenectady only a year and a half, but the idea of the top cop undermining his own law enforcement for personal gain turned me a Christmas shade of crimson.

ROG