meme Archives - Page 15 of 28 - Ramblin' with Roger

One Step Beyond

Monk / Nun
Take Your Secret Self 1 Step Beyond today!
Created with Rum and Monkey‘s Personality Test Generator.

Going 1 step beyond I am all about spiritual truth, bread and bad haircuts. For me the best part of the day is spent in quiet meditation where I don’t have to worry about my big ears and people laughing at me. No one really understands the depth of my soul, which is in here somewheres. I study, I work, I feed deer and am kind to little bunnies. I am making this a better world by shutting myself away from real life. Somehow. I am certain life’s questions can be answered by sleeping on hard things and chanting.

***

Your result for The Director Who Films Your Life Test…

Francis Ford Coppola

Your film will be 61% romantic, 29% comedy, 34% complex plot, and a $ 45 million budget.

Filmography: The Conversation, The Godfather (and Pt. 2 and Pt. 3), Apocolypse Now, Peggy Sue Got Married, Jack, etc. He even used his clout after The Godfather to get George Lucas’ classic American Graffiti made. But then he notoriously went WAY overbudget with Apocolypse Now which sort of maimed his career since. He’s been doing a lot of small films lately which may give your life story an inside track. A high-budget simple romantic drama is best in the hands of this modern master filmmaker.

Take The Director Who Films Your Life Test at HelloQuizzy

***
My sister, knowing my lifelong love of Wal-Mart (I seriously jest), sent this:
BANNED FROM WAL-MART………..

Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
One day she received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.
2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.’
4. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.
5. September 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
7. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
9. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.
11. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by
using different sizes of funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’
And last, but not least …
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here!’

Regards,
Wal-Mart

ROG

The Omnivore’s Hundred

ADD writes:

Andrew Wheeler posted this challenge on the Very Good Taste blog…here are the rules:

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten. (I’ve opted to italicize; my blog, my rules.)
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.

Alan’s American Variant: I asterisked (*) any items that are unknown to me. Most of the starred items, I have heard of, but I don’t know what they are. Pathetic, I know.

(Oh, Johnny B. hates tomatoes, it seems.)

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:
1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho*
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi*
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses*
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes – specifically apple
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper*
27. Dulce de leche*
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda*
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl (I’ve had each, but not together; would certainly eat it if offered)
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly*
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal*
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu*
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi*
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle*
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine*
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin*
64. Currywurst*
65. Durian*
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost*
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu*
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong*
80. Bellini*
81. Tom yum*
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate*
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa*
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano*
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

I should note that I didn’t cross off anything, because I’d try it in theory. Faced with a whole insect, who knows?
Also, many of the thinks I checked on the list, I tried only once, and didn’t particularly enjoy.

ROG

Woman to Woman

Two from Johnny B..

1.IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
“I Kissed a Girl” by Jill Sobule

2.HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
“Graceland” by Willie Nelson

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
“Meadowlands” by Nancy Jacobs and Sisters

4.HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
“It” by Prince

5.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
“Tell It Like It Is” by Aaron Neville & the Neville Brothers

6.WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
“In the Bleak Midwinter” by James Taylor

7.WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
“Hey Diddle” by Paul McCartney

8.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
“Detention” from Cry Freedom

9.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
“Long May You Run” by Neil Young

10.WHAT IS 2 + 2?
“Torn & Frayed” by the Rolling Stones

11.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR EX?
“Dreaming” by Cream

12.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
“Sound of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel

13.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
“Fire” by the Pointer Sisters

14.WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
“Is this Love” by Bob Marley & the Wailers

15.WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
“Live Good” by Burning Spear

16.WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
“Oh, Me” by Nirvana

17.WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
“Whenever You’re Ready” by James Taylor

18.WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
“I Don’t Wanna Talk About It” by Indigo Girls

19.WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
“Friday Dance Promenade” by k.d. lang

20.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
“Hey Joe” by the Yardbirds

Directions:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, iPod etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
Now press Next one more time and use it as your title.

The title tune is by Shirley Brown, a Stax hit. Some of the answers work well (#18 in particular), while I wish #11 and #12 were switched.
***

You are the Sense of Sight

You are a very observant, detail oriented person.

You are able to take in a lot of information at once.

You often see things that other people never notice.

You have a good eye for design and aesthetics.

You love to be surrounded by beauty – natural or not.

When you imagine how something should look, you see it clearly in your mind.

Which of the Five Senses Are You?

***
Isaac Hayes, whose Theme from Shaft ended up on my Top 20 Songs That Move Me, died this past weekend. I don’t have much more to say about the singer/keyboardist/songwriter other than what I wrote last year on his 65th birthday.
***
Fred Hembeck on Bernie Mac (August 10).

ROG

Carlin and other family-friendly topics

So I wake up at four a.m. for the third time in the night, because I still can’t find a comfortable sleeping position, probably because I didn’t take my pain pills all day yesterday, because I didn’t want to become habituated to them, so I get up and check Evanier, who notes George Carlin has died, and he writes: “Seven words come immediately to mind. All are appropriate for the occasion.” And I check my blog and note that I’d only mentioned Carlin thrice, twice on baseball and football, and once on education, but I recall how I’d been watching Carlin for decades, from the “hippy, dippy weatherman I remember him doing on the “Ed Sullivan Show” to one of the sharpest minds of social commentary, and there’s a pain in my heart AND my side. DAMN! (Not one of the seven words.)
***
Since one Kelly Brown specifically requested me to take this test, what could I do?

75

As a 1930s husband, I am
Superior

Take the test!

And speaking of family things, something I saw on the bus last week: Woman and daughter waiting for the bus, get on the bus. Woman sees child’s father on the bus, apparently to the surprise of all concerned. She says to child, “Oh, your father’s on the bus,’ hands the child to the father, saying “YOU take her!!” then gets off the bus. Child cries for mommy a couple blocks, but is eventually soothed by daddy; Arthur would have been pleased.

At least that a better bus story than my wife experienced, which involved a three-year old running on the bus, failing, crying, and the mother screaming at the wailing child, “I told you not to run on the bus.”
***
I was watching Bill Moyers again, and I must recommend it. It deals with race in America. One segment is about Slavery by Another Name, Douglas A. Blackmon’s book about what the subtitle calls “the Re-Enslavement of Black Americans from the Civil War to World War II.”
Under laws enacted specifically to intimidate blacks, tens of thousands of African Americans were arbitrarily arrested, hit with outrageous fines, and charged for the costs of their own arrests. With no means to pay these ostensible “debts,” prisoners were sold as forced laborers to coal mines, lumber camps, brickyards, railroads, quarries and farm plantations. Thousands of other African Americans were simply seized by southern landowners and compelled into years of involuntary servitude.
Blackmon has a website addressing the issue.

Moyers also previewed the documentary which opens the 21st season of P.O.V. TRACES OF THE TRADE: A STORY OF THE DEEP NORTH, which tells the story journey of discovery into the history and consequences of slavery and which will air on my PBS station Tuesday night.
***
Someone tipped me about Twilight Zone radio plays produced in 2004 for CBS radio using Rod Serling’s original scripts, with Stacey Keach narrating and hosting.
ROG

30 things to know or do by the time you’re 30

I’m 55, so “thirty things to know or do by the time you’re 30” intrigued me. Am I a victim of arrested development? Per the Times Union’s Kristi Gustafson; some of these are damn familiar…

To take your hat off while eating.
Well, yeah. But, and this must go back to some archaic time, I thought the rules for men were different from the rules for women, though I never understood why.

To bring a hostess gift.
I never quite understood the point of this. Someone invites you to an event and I’m supposed to bring something? I mean, I have brought bottles of wine to a party, but i don’t think this is what she’s talking about. Now, my WIFE has had us bring hostess gifts. Does that count?

Have a valid passport.
Yes. Expires July 2011, just as I’m planning a trip to Canada. Really. And we’re trying to suss out just what we need for the child.

How to make small talk.
I used to be REALLY good at it. The skill has dissipated.

Your credit score.
Yes, and it’s not bad.

And your blood type.
Be positive.

How to do laundry.
I was single for a LONG time. Yes, I know how, and I still have romantic sentiments towards the laundromat, even though we have a washer and drier at home.

And scramble eggs.
Probably since I was eight.

Your parents’ birthdays.
September 26, November 17.

How to drive a stick shift.
Well, no. I got into a screaming fight – she was doing most of the screaming – the one time someone, in this case my girlfriend at the time, tried to teach me to drive a stick. “YOU’RE BURNING OUT MY CLUTCH!!!” Haven’t even TRIED since.

And order a bottle of wine.
Beyond the red with meat, white with chicken, not so much.

How to set up, and check, bank and credit card balances online.
Could. Don’t.

How to wrap a gift.
Depends on your standards. It’s good enough for me.

Own a suitcase.
Two, actually, not including the ancient one.

Have a local florist, not 1-800 FLOWERS.
Yes.

How to negotiate.
Hate negotiating.

And compromise.
Often compromise.

How to jump a car/change a tire.
Have done both so long ago that I doubt I could do it currently.

Have a retirement plan.
Yes, and it’s taken a bath the last six months.

When to stop drinking.
Trial and error, but yes. Even know the date of my first hangover 6/9/76; went horseback riding that day.

How to file a complaint.
Have done so, with businesses and the state attorney general

How to make a bed – complete with hospital corners.
No. I once had this conversation with one of my sisters who made my bed, “Now doesnn’t that feel better?” No, it doesn’t; it makes me feel claustrophobic. I can kick out hospital corners in a half night of sleeping.

How to play a sport (excelling not required).
Racquetball, yes.

How much cologne is too much.
Don’t wear, but I’ve smelled it when others have applied too much.

When you need a dinner reservation.
Yes> I was in Charlotte, NC and I had recommended making reservations on a Saturday night. The folks thought it was unnecessary; it was their town, so I yielded. We ended up bailing on choice #1 (90 minute wait), and finding choices 2-5 to be equally inaccessible. We ended up at Pizza Hut at 9:20 pm.

How to read the bus schedule.
I excel at reading the bus schedule.

To tip the maid in a hotel.
Yes.

To make exceptions for children, and seniors.
Yes.

How to apologize.
I really believe so. It does not include “if”.

How to give a good hug.
Actually, I’m very good at this.
ROG