Is That Racist QUESTION

The bar in the Holiday Inn outside Fenway Park that systematically failed to serve me on Flag Day, 1991, even as others got drinks – THAT I’m sure was racism.


So here’s the scenario: a woman (white) goes into a Muslim market, where she is given the cold shoulder until she asks for some halal products. Then people are quite friendly. And the woman says later, “It seems that racism exists everywhere.” I give an understanding nod, even as I’m thinking to myself, “Is that really racist behavior?” Or is it the action of a group of people who are merely suspicious of strangers, of someone new (and, to be sure, different)?

There are plenty of times I’ve been in that situation: unfamiliar churches, different neighborhoods, stores. Sometimes I’ve gotten less than desirable outcomes, but I didn’t blame them all on racism. (The bar in the Holiday Inn outside Fenway Park that had systematically failed to serve me on Flag Day, 1991, even as others got drinks – THAT I’m sure was racism.)

Another white female friend of mine says she gets a distant vibe from a local convenience store where most of the workers and virtually all the customers are black. And she was quite angry about it. She claims not to have a racist bone in her body, and perhaps that’s true.

It occurs to me that most of us profile, in one form or another. If I were out at 1:30 a.m., a single young adult walking by would not worry me, but a group, no matter the race or gender, might make me nervous.

Back in the days of the segregated South in the United States, if a white person walked into a black establishment, one might reasonably worry that it might mean trouble. Muslims had lived peacefully in the US for years, even after 9/11, but it is only recently that many of them have said that, for the first time, they felt afraid in America; maybe it’s the same fear that made them wary of the stranger.

But what do YOU think?

The Disability QUESTION

Would it be illegal to make faux parking tickets?


The Americans with Disabilities Act turned 20 this week, as I wrote about. Let me tell you one of those disability things that really infuriated me, still infuriates me and it was five or six years ago.

A blind man was crossing the street heading for the local Bruegger’s bakery (at Madison and South Allen, for you locals). I had the sense that he’d made this trip a number of times before. But on this day, some yahoo decided to park his car across the crosswalk. I’m thinking that the driver figured that he’d “only be there a few minutes”. But the blind man was terribly disoriented walking into the car, and I was too far away from him to help. The kicker is that – lazy jerk! – there was a parking space three car lengths away.

I’ve seen other cars park there subsequently and it never fails to irritate. It’s particularly problematic when there is snow on the ground, and those folks with walkers and canes have to maneuver around these turkeys. Ditto to those people who park a second car so that it blocks the sidewalk.

I’ve actually given more than a passing thought of making up faux parking tickets to stick on their windshields, with a message, “Hey schmuck: If this were a real ticket, your inconsideration would cost you $50.”

Any of you have pet peeves regarding the way selfish folks make it more difficult for the disabled? (And the rest of us: damn car parked across the sidewalk in winter makes me slip/slide into the street!)

PAIN Question

I’ve withstood root canal. I’ve broken a rib. I’ve gotten rabies shots…


My wife managed to roll up the power windows of the car on three of my fingers last Sunday; I was pulling the door closed. Yes, I used invectives that I tend not to use around The Daughter. Later, The Daughter asked me if this was the worst pain that I had ever experienced. The answer was clearly no, and in fact, I was glad that it was the middle three fingers, because I suspect that catching any one finger would have hurt worse and possibly would have suffered real damage.

I’ve definitely experienced much greater discomfort. I’ve withstood root canal. I’ve broken a rib. I’ve gotten rabies shots, which are pretty nasty because they’re big needles and they have to stay in for 10 seconds.

But probably the worst pain involved stepping on a nail, not the initial activity, which certainly hurt enough, but rather the removal of pieces of my sneaker from my foot by the doctor. That was in May 2000; just got a tetanus booster this spring.

So:
1) What was the worst pain you’ve endured? I know for my wife it was oral surgery, which made childbirth seem like a walk in the park.
2) What activity that you do regularly causes you the most pain? Clearly for me, this is donating blood. I have done it 136 times – that’s 17 gallons – and when the nurse says, “You’ll feel a little pinch,” I know that’s a lie. It passes, but it hurts. P.S., I never look. Ever.

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