File under: Carol is…a year older

It’s usually the little stuff that drives people crazy.

One of the admirable things about The Wife is that she has this filing system for papers. Sometimes she can even find things in it; OK, I jest, because usually, she can. But her categories are not my categories, so I can almost NEVER find anything in her system.

She keeps receipts of almost everything she buys. If she needs it, she’ll pull out the folder for the year that purchased the item. This is of absolutely no use to me because, unless it was very recent, I can’t REMEMBER what year we bought something. Was it 2010 or 2009?  Occasionally she can’t remember either.

Moreover, I get impatient wading through a year’s worth of random receipts. MY system, when I was single – still used for things that are mine, rather than hers or ours – is by type of items – appliances, pharmacy, food, and the like. She’s willing to rifle through her files, but I find it too arcane.

I do see one advantage of her system, though. When the contents of a folder are eight years old, she can toss it; not that she does, necessarily, but she could.

With my folders, I put the tabs in the back, while she puts them in the front, something that, for some reason, totally flummoxes me when looking in her files.

It’s usually the little stuff that drives people crazy. As long as I don’t actually have to FIND something in her files, it’s all good.

Happy birthday, honey.

As Illya Kuryakin, the baby sister

I was the debonair Solo, while Marcia emulated the clever Kuryakin.

As I perused the pictures my baby sister Marcia sent me this spring via Facebook, I noted only one of just her and me. That’s not that surprising; I have not a lot of memories of things she and I did alone together. There were many things the THREE of us did together: Leslie, 16 months younger, and Marcia, five years my junior. Also, Leslie and I sang together, and Leslie and Marcia shared a room.

Still, there was one thing Marcia and I did together that was just ours, without Leslie or my parents: we played spies, based on the 1964-1968 NBC-TV series The Man from U.N.C.L.E.; the acronym stood for the United Network Command for Law Enforcement. The two prime agents were Napoleon Solo, played on the series by Robert Vaughan, and Illya Kuryakin, played by David McCallum (who now plays Ducky on the TV series NCIS). It was one of those spy shows undoubtedly influenced by the success of the James Bond films, complete with an array of gadgets.

When we played, I was the debonair Solo, while Marcia emulated the clever Kuryakin, busy fighting evil in the form of a group called THRUSH. I don’t remember storylines, but I do recall vaulting off the side porch of our house to capture the imaginary bad guys, with “Illya” on the stairs right behind me.

Happy birthday, Marcia; thanks again for all those photos. (Can’t call her little sister; she’s taller than I am!)

The Lydster, Part 108: Another natal day

She continues to surprise me with not just her vocabulary, but her understanding of concepts.

Last year, the Daughter was at least 4’6″; now she’s very close to 4’10” (147 cm). There are some adults she’s practically looking in the eye. I’m only 5’11.5″, but my wife is about 5’10” and her brothers are all about 6’3″, so I can only imagine how tall she’ll get to be.

After performing in the Nutcracker, she seems to have tired of formal ballet lessons, though she’s forever moving about and even choreographing for her cousins and friends.

She discovered soccer in the fall, and I suspect she’ll do that again. She liked doing field hockey in school, and that led her to get her to take her to an Albany Devils’ ice hockey game. What I know about hockey would fit on top of a puck, but she seemed to enjoy the experience.

On TV, she watches figure skating and Dancing with the Stars with her mother, and old Dick van Dyke Show episodes with me. She still likes Wild Kratts, a cartoon about nature.

At least half of the fairy books by Daisy Meadows (a pseudonym for the four writers of the Rainbow Magic books), she’s consumed; for a time, she’d read nothing else. In recent months, though, she’s expanded her reading repertoire.

She continues to be very good at math and spelling. I help her with most of her homework, but her mother practices clarinet with her.

Going to Sunday School seems to be the highlight of the week; she’s getting good at her Bible history. She likes being invited to do special things at church, such as the unveiling of a diorama of our church, or ringing the church bell (tougher than it looks).

Lessee: she continues to surprise me with not just her vocabulary, but her understanding of concepts.

She has well over a dozen dolls. She knows all their names (I don’t), including the new American Girl doll, Sophia, who kinda looks like her. There is actually a floor plan she drew up to determine who sleeps where, with a rotation of who gets to sleep with her.

I suspect that the Newtown, CT shootings have affected her deeply, though she mentions it only in passing.

She’s a good kid who gets along with a variety of people. But I think she NEEDS a number of friends; when she’s with one friend for too long, or too often, the relationship frays a bit.

I guess that’s enough for this year.

Happy birthday, my dear daughter.

Friend Karen is 60

Karen had wanted to be in the music business as long as I could remember.

Karen I’ve known since kindergarten, and we went from K through 12th grade together in Binghamton, NY. Back in seventh grade or so, she really got into astrology. I don’t mean just looking at the daily newspaper column, but doing a serious investigation. While I wasn’t a true believer, I found it eerie how accurate they could be. She was born only 46 hours after I was, so there was some overlap between hers and mine.

When we were in high school, there was this silly rule that, when you were running for student government, you could not give your own nominating speech. I gave Karen’s when she ran for secretary, a speech that everyone said was one of the best ever. She won. The following year, they changed the rules so that the candidate gave the speech; my address for myself, running for president, was not nearly as good, by my own reckoning (I won anyway).

In 1977, when I was adrift, she gave me a real (verbal) kick in the butt. In the early 1980s, she stopped drinking; while, initially, she asked why I hadn’t stopped her, she came to the (correct) conclusion that only SHE could have.

She was there in Boston when I won $17,600 on JEOPARDY! in 1998.

Karen told me that she was relieved that I had had a daughter in 2004. I think she believed, probably rightly, that I had an easier time dealing with girls than boys, going back to when we were kids.

She is a world traveler, having visited Burma, Costa Rica, India, Indonesia, Malaysia, Thailand, Turkey, and probably locations I’m forgetting; from the e-mails she sends each winter, I think she ought to blog about it, but she’s disinclined.

Karen had wanted to be in the music business as long as I could remember, nagging her older siblings to buy her the new single by the Kinks or the Rolling Stones, or, of course, the Beatles. In sixth grade, we had a class newspaper, and she wrote a (fictional, alas!) story about meeting the Fab Four.

She did, in fact, go into the music industry. From working in a record store on Main Street in neighboring Johnson City, NY, to getting involved in promoting musicians and their albums, trying to get them on radio, sometimes going to their gigs. Early on, she turned me on to The Band. Later, she introduced me to a whole range of artists too numerous to mention, but including the 1990s iteration of Johnny Cash.

She told great stories, which I cannot do justice to. I remember when she was trying to promote Robbie Robertson’s first solo album in the mid-1980s and had to deal with some 24-year-old station manager. He didn’t know who Robbie was, didn’t know who The Band was or that they had backed Bob Dylan, and had never heard of The Last Waltz, the award-winning movie about their final concerts.

Of course, the music business hasn’t gotten any easier of late, but she’s still at it, trying to develop and promote new artists.

I’ve been fortunate that I’ve been able to see her at least once a year for the past few years; unfortunately, the last time was at her mom’s funeral, but it was still a joy to see her.

Happy birthday, Sara Lee! (Inside joke.)

The difference between turning 50 and turning 60

When I turned 50, I could think, “Maybe I still have another half a lifetime left.” After all, the number of centenarians in the United States has been growing. Willard Scott, with whom I share a birthday, BTW, still announces the birthdays of those over 100 on NBC-TV’s TODAY show, as far as I know.

Now that I am 60, though, I have to acknowledge that I’m not going to live another 60 years, even if I move to Azerbaijan and start eating yogurt soup. (And if I’m wrong, which one of you is going to write to correct me?)

I note this, not with melancholy or dismay, but with a certain resolve not to waste my time with X or Y. I’ve already done a fair job in that I’ve largely stopped caring about the negative things people who aren’t friends and family say. It’s not that I won’t complain about them, and in fact, I’m even more likely to do so, probably in this blog; it’s that the anger and frustration don’t consume me, as they once did.

Once upon a time, every March 8 (the day after my birthday), I would play a particular Paul Simon tune. The lyric started:
Yesterday it was my birthday
I hung one more year on the line
I should be depressed
My life’s a mess
But I’m having a good time

I played that song annually for 20 years or more. I should get back to doing that again.

Have a Good Time – Paul Simon

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