Tag: birthdays

The Crocodile Song

I do not know the origins of The Crocodile Song, don’t know who wrote it or when, never heard anyone else sing it.

My father would have been 84 tomorrow. There’s a guy, Ray, who was my friend from second to ninth grade. He went to a different high school and moved to the Finger Lakes region of New York State. However, I was in his wedding in October 1976, and I got to escort his mother, who was the Den mother of our Cub Scout troop, down the aisle.

He’s now my Facebook friend. About a month ago, unbidden, he started sending these messages, a verse at a time:

“Sung by: Les Green
To the kids of the ‘50s and ‘60s at Daniel S. Dickinson, PS #9 School, Binghamton, NY

“The Crocodile Song”
First verse
Come gather around me children to tell the truth I’m bound
Here’s a story when I went to sea and the wonders that I found
Ship wrecked was I one lonely day and cast upon the shore
Now I decided to wonder way the country to explore, explore the country to explore
So I sang, toddle oddle oddle oddle oo I ey, toddle oddle oddle oddle oo I ey
Now, I decided to wonder way the country to explore

Second verse
Well, I had not long walked when there beside the ocean
I saw something move, like all the world in motion
Now I creep up beside the thing, it was a great big crocodile
From the end of his nose to the tip of his tail was about 500 miles, yes about 500 miles
So I sang, toddle oddle oddle oddle oo I ey, toddle oddle oddle oddle oo I ey
From the end of his nose to the tip of his tail was about 500 miles

Third verse
Now I could plainly see this was none of the common race
For I had to climb a tall tall tree before I could see his face
The wind was blowing so hard up there, it blow with a gale form the south
and I lost my grip on the big tall tree and fell smack dab in the crocodile’s mouth, yes smack dab in the crocodile’s mouth
So I sang, toddle oddle oddle oddle oo I ey, toddle oddle oddle oddle oo I ey
I lost my grip on the big tall tree and fell smack dab in the crocodile’s mouth

Fourth verse
Now I could see this crocodile was going to nab a victim….. me !
so I ran down his throat you see, and that’s the way I tricked him. see?
Now I wandered around for a year or two, until I reached his craw (that’s his stomach)
There was a rum case, not a few, and a thousand pullets (little chickens) in store in store, a thousand pullets in store
So I sang, toddle oddle oddle oddle oo I ey, toddle oddle oddle oddle oo I ey
There was a rum case, not a few, and a thousand pullets in store”

Final verse
Now the crocodile grew very very old and at a great long last, he died
It took him about six months to catch a cold he was so long and wide
His skin was about 10 miles thick, I think, or some where there about
For I was fully six months digging my way out, yes digging my way out
So I sang, toddle oddle oddle oddle oo I ey…, toddle oddle oddle oddle oo I ey
For I was fully six months digging my way out
and I got out just in time to come here and sing this song for you!

Ray wrote, “I think we all can remember every word of every song he sang.” Yes, twice a year, from when I was in kindergarten to fifth or sixth grade, my father came to our elementary school and sang songs to my class. Did the same for my sisters, the elder one for sure, since he often sang to each class on the same day. It was always slightly embarrassing when he sang Irene Goodnight, since there was a girl named Irene in the class, and the scuttlebutt was that I put him up to singing the song because I had a crush on her, which I did not.

I do not know the origins of The Crocodile Song, don’t know who wrote it or when, never heard anyone else sing it. There’s another Crocodile Song on the Internet, but it ain’t this one!

I know I sang at my baby sister’s class – specifically remember The Old Lady and the Fly – when she was in kindergarten and I was in 6th grade. Leslie and I also sang at our niece Alex’s class several years ago, part of the Les Green tradition.

The Spanking Policy

I got spanked a number of times, and usually I had no idea why.

Today is my sister Leslie’s birthday. Happy birthday, Leslie!
She is the middle child, and I’m the oldest, by sixteen and a half months. I have no recollection of my life without her.

Here’s one of those family stories, the telling of which will make more sense in a couple of weeks, I hope.

The worst spanking I ever received directly involved her. I tell this tale not to embarrass her – after all, it WAS a half-century ago – but to indicate how much that incident has imprinted on my whole life.

When I was four or five years old, Leslie marked up the piano with some crayons. My father went to Leslie and asked her who marked the piano, and she said that Roger did. So my father got the strap that hung in the kitchen – this brown leather thing about a foot long that barbers used to sharpen their razors – and started wailing on me. One of the things he was looking for from me was an apology, yet even in the midst of my pain, I was unable to do so. “I didn’t do it, I didn’t do it!” I sobbed.

Eventually, and these are pretty much in the words of my father, recounting the incident years later, he figured that I was either really stupid or I was actually innocent. Finally, he requestioned Leslie, who finally confessed, and he started wailing on her.

So, what had I learned from this?

1) Leslie was his favorite, even after Marcia was born. None of us alive – my mother, my sisters – dispute this fact, and at some point, Marcia and I became OK with it. But for years, it ticked me off that he took her word for what happened, but didn’t even ASK me, disbelieving me until he had to believe me.

2) Despite the discomfort, one ought not to admit to things one did not do.

3) Sometimes the innocent do get punished. This is a huge reason for my antipathy for the death penalty; sometimes the authorities get it wrong. (That’s not the only reason, but an important one.)

4) I just don’t believe in corporal punishment.

In January 1997, Leslie and I were visiting the folks in Charlotte, NC. My father was brooding all day; my father’s brooding practically had a physical manifestation. When we were younger, we referred to him – but not to his face, thank you – as The Black Cloud.

Finally, that evening, when I was taking a 1 a.m. train back to Albany, not so incidentally, he opens up. He believed that my sister Marcia, who was in her 30s, was not being very respectful to her/my mother; that 19-year-old Becky, who was also visiting, was not being very respectful to her mother, Leslie; that Alexandria, who had just turned six, was not being very respectful to her mother, Marcia – OK, we could discuss all of that – and that none of them were too big to use the strap on.

I’m pretty sure I bit my lip.

Leslie, always the diplomat when it came to dealing with my father, thanked him for sharing, and said some more affirming things before indicating that she would not be doing any spanking. I followed Leslie’s lead (though I had no child at the time), and Marcia did the same. Then our mother launched into this discussion of the family finances, appropriate at some point, but not right then. My father shut down, and said maybe two words – “Good night” – the rest of the evening.

So, no, I don’t spank Lydia; Carol doesn’t either. This is not merely a knee-jerk liberal parenting mantra on my part. This is because, and the sisters and I have talked about this at length, I got spanked a number of times, and the only reason I can recall to this day WHY I got spanked was the aforementioned piano incident, for which I ought not to have been spanked. I can’t think of a good reason Leslie got spanked, except for that same event. There WAS a time when Marcia was 10 when she talked back to my father, and Leslie and I independently thought, “Ooo, she’s dead!” But he didn’t spank her; maybe he mellowed a bit with the third child.

“Spare the rod, spoil the child.” I’ll risk it.

Ringo Starr is 70

Besides my Top 10 Ringo songs, versions of a couple of the same songs by John and George.


I decided that, for all four of the Beatles, I would list my Top 10 favorite songs on their 70th birthdays, or in the case of John and George, what would have been the big seven-oh.

Ringo is easy, because I have relatively few of his albums, as well as a live triple-CD anthology and a greatest hits collection. This will NOT include any live versions of his old Beatles tunes.

ten It’s All Down To Goodnight Vienna – a most peculiar song by John Lennon, who plays piano, with odd scansion to boot. jl-piano.

nine Liverpool 8 -. A history lesson.

ate Oh My My -featuring background vocals by Martha Reeves and Merry Clayton, those great Billy Preston keyboards, and Tom Scott on the sax.

seven Love Me Do. As obsessive Beatles fans know – guilty as charged – Ringo replaced Pete Best shortly before the Beatles went into the studio for the first time with producer George Martin. Martin, disliking Best’s drums, and unfamiliar with Starr’s, hired session musician Andy White to playing drums, relegating Ringo to playing tambourine. Ringo STILL seemed miffed by this while he, Paul, and George were making the Anthology albums and videos in the mid 1990s. This record is, I suspect, partially closure for the drummer.

six Step Lightly, mislabeled as Six O’Clock; indeed, most of this YouTube guy’s Ringo videos are given incorrect titles. This is from the Ringo album and features the dancing feet of Richard Starkey, MBE.

five Early 1970, a piece about the other Beatles at the time of the breakup. It is noteworthy that all of them play and write songs for Ringo, even as acrimony amongst the others festered.

for No No Song. This always reminded me of a variation on Randy Newman’s Mama Told Me Not To Come. Ringo’s old drinking buddy, Harry Nilsson, does the backing vocals.

three I’m the Greatest. A cheeky song that John Lennon wrote for his friend who was also born in 1940. Here’s John Lennon’s demo version.

too It Don’t Come Easy – with Badfinger on backing vocal; here’s George Harrison’s demo version.

won Photograph . A song co-written by George and Ringo, with George also on backing vocals and 12-string guitar. As Ringo mentioned at the Concert for George in November 2002, a year after George’s death, the song has taken on a whole new meaning:
Ev’ry time I see your face,
It reminds me of the places we used to go.
But all I’ve got is a photograph,
And I realise you’re not coming back anymore.

Ringo took a lot of heat in recent years for declaring that he would no longer sign autographs. In subsequent discussions, he indicated that he was tired of signing items only to see them on eBay or Craigslist the next week; I sympathize with that.

Ringo kicks off Live from the Artists Den on PBS this week.

Happy birthday, Richie.

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