Tag: civility

My first Facebook unfriend

I noted that I would be putting my Black History discussion up on this blog, NOT the Times Union newspaper blog. And someone asked me why. I said, “It’s just not a safe place.”

thumbs-down1I expected that the first time I would bother to unfriend someone on Facebook would be because of some great, substantial, important issue. And it wasn’t. It was Because Facebook.

I wrote, on Facebook:

FACEBOOK wrote to me:
Why am I not seeing a movie?

If you aren’t seeing A Look Back movie when you visit facebook.com/lookback, it may be because you have not shared very many things on Facebook. Depending on how long you’ve been on Facebook and how much you’ve shared, you’ll see a movie, a collection of photos or a thank you card. (I have pics.) I am SO NOT disappointed.

And someone, who I friended, because she is a friend of a friend, wrote:

“And who gives a…”

It occurred to me, at least in Facebook World, maybe some people might have cared, since LOTS of people I knew and weren’t aware, were posting their “movies”, none of which I have actually seen yet. I wanted to explain why I had not. So the response didn’t anger me but annoyed me enough to zap her. It was just negative energy I didn’t want. I thought the CORRECT response to something on FB that was not of interest to one is to ignore it; I do it ALL THE TIME.

Whereas some I DO know passed along this nonsense about Obama having the flag lowered for Whitney Houston, but not for Shirley Temple. (In fact, Republican governor Chris Christie had the flags in New Jersey lowered for Whitney.) Because I had a relationship with him, I asked about it, and he only forwarded it because he was showing how ridiculous it was.
***
I gave my Black History Month presentation at church, based on my February 13 blog post, and I noted that I would be putting it up on this blog, NOT the Times Union newspaper blog. And someone asked me why. I said, “It’s just not a safe place.”

I would undoubtedly, get more comments there than here, but a LOT more argumentative comments. I don’t mind discussion, but I loathe rants. And conversations about race almost inevitably turn into rants, usually having nothing to do with the original topic. Or, in the alternative, a twisting of one’s words. No thanks.
***
Speaking of rants: OK, not really a rant, but this musician I follow on Facebook wrote:

Why do people take such pleasure in being ahead of me? That car that just HAS to nudge past me as we approach the Thruway tollbooth, that guy whose pace quickens as we both approach the door to Chipotle…are their lives so devoid of triumph that this registers as an accomplishment? Are they banking those eight saved seconds for a rainy day? Or is this some hardwired, ancient simian instinct, a fear that the monkey in front of them will get the last banana?

I so relate. I’ve noticed this when I’m trying to leave the bus and someone’s trying to push past me to get off first, not trying to catch a connecting bus.

Comments policy

Don’t be a schmuck. If you act like a schmuck in the comments, as defined by me, I won’t post your comment and you will have wasted more of your time writing the comment than my time in deleting it.


Here I am, just a couple months short of six years of blogging, and I’m reading where Wayne John thinks all bloggers should have a blogging policy. He’s probably right, but I cannot get very excited about it; i.e, the topic bores me. In all the time I’ve been blogging here, including the Blogger iteration, I have deleted exactly ONE comment that wasn’t spam. It was a nasty remark about a picture of a dear friend I had posted; I didn’t like it, and I took it down.

The Akismet on the WordPress blog is really good at catching spam, and I approve every comment anyway these days; ultimately, it’s just easier. I receive an e-mail when I get a comment and respond as soon as possible. I also check the Akismet to make sure it doesn’t reject real posts; it used to do it a lot, especially to a couple of ABC Wednesday people. And particularly entertaining spam I just might let slip through.

Some bloggers rail against the one-line comment; I guess I’d rather people say one line they really mean than three lines trying to meet some arbitrary threshold.

Except through the spam, I just don’t seem to get a lot of irrelevant links that people want to post here.

Wayne John linked to this article, which reads in part: It is also a “responsibility statement”. It informs the reader of what you will allow on your blog, what you will not allow, and what they are allowed to do. It establishes publicly the responsibilities of each party involved.

In a related link, there’s a list of no-nos.
is abusive – well, OK, but then I have to go define that
is off-topic – on another blog I have people go off-topic all the time; actually, it can be quite informative and entertaining
contains ad-hominem attacks – same as “abusive”
promotes hate of any kind – I’m against hate, but I find the notion overly broad
uses excessive vulgarity – this would involve me having to definite both vulgarity AND its excess
is spam – previously addressed

OK. In the spirit of that paragraph, here is my policy:

Feel free to comment on my blog. I love it when you comment on my blog. Besides self-expression, that’s the reason I write a blog – to get reactions.

So don’t be a schmuck. If you act like a schmuck in the comments, as defined by me, I won’t post your comment and you will have wasted more of your time writing the comment than my time in deleting it.

That’s my policy. What’s yours?

And do I really need a paragraph (freely stolen) like this?
By submitting a comment on Roger’s blog, you agree to hold this site, its owner Roger Green, and all future subsidiaries and representatives harmless from any and all repercussions, damages, or liability. Roger reserves all rights of refusal and deletion of any and all comments and trackbacks. This policy may be amended at any time.

If so, then that, too.

On the other hand, I have actually made more money on this blog in 2011 than I had in the previous 5.5 years (which is to say, zero) from a small stipend I get from posting those infographics. Truth is that I would have likely posted them anyway, for nothing (and actually have), if not here then on another blog I write for. Still, in keeping with the spirit of the FTC disclosure rules, there it is.

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