Sunday Stealing: February

walking without tripping

The first question in this iteration of Sunday Stealing is about the second month. It should be the 12th month, but we won’t get into that.

1. What are your plans for February?

There will be an Olin Family Reunion online on February 3. I’m involved with the John Olin Origin Project. We know he came across the Atlantic in the latter 17th century on an English ship, but was he English? Welsh? French? BTW, I am the spouse of John> Joseph> Joseph> Reuben> John> Earl> Orva> George> Ann> Carol.

Two Death Cafes are taking place online in February. I’ve written about them here, among other places. Although I wasn’t a part of the originating group, I’ve been recruited to run one of the break-out rooms, making sure everyone who wants to has the opportunity to speak, take notes for when the group gets back together, and basically try to keep things on track. Some college students will be joining in.

Also, Valentine’s Day will be Ash Wednesday. They coincided in 1923, 1934, and  1945, which I don’t remember, and 2018, which I do. It will happen again in 2029, but not again in the 21st Century. My hot V-Day date with my wife will be going to church.

2. Did you ever have or go to sleepovers as a kid?

No sleepovers at my house, at least for me and my friends. I have some vague notion of going with one or both of my sisters to someone else’s house when I was eight or ten, having a mad crush on a girl from the host family.

Readathon

3. Which books would you pick for a book binge?

There’s a shelf in this office of books I purchased in the past two years at the author talks at the Albany Public Library that I’d grab. I’d probably start with Roosevelt Sweeps Nation by David Pietrusza.

4. What features do you love most about your home?

It’s the built-in bookshelves in this room, the contents of which I had to reorganize.

5. How often do you try something new?

I watched this recent Vlogbrothers video by Hank Green.  I’ve concluded that every day I do something new when I write this blog because I’m synthesizing my experiences. And the experiences are new, whether seeing a movie or reading a book. I only went to France last year so I’d have blog fodder. (KIDDING, Deborah!)

6. What type of sushi is your favorite?

I don’t really know sushi, and I seldom consume it. California roll, I suppose.

7. Do you prefer to relax or go on adventures during vacation?

I don’t have a great need to go somewhere in order to relax. It is not as though I like sitting on the beach, in no small part because of my vitiligo, but even before I developed it two decades ago, I never saw the attraction.

8. Which colors look best on you?

I look marvelous in everything! You should ask someone else. Blue, I guess?

9. Do you like brunch?

As opposed to not having brunch? Sure.

Er…ah…

10. Do you get stage fright?

Apparently so. I was in two different musicals at church in the past decade, and I knew my songs cold in rehearsal but forgot a line in one song and failed to make an entrance in another.

11. Which podcasts do you like at the moment?

There are approximately one zillion podcasts, and I’ve heard a few that seemed intriguing, but I haven’t the time. I can’t listen to one while doing something else. (This is true of audiobooks as well, BTW.) So I’ve been listening to three: Coverville by Brian Ibbott since 2008, Hollywood and Levine by Ken Levine since c. 2016, and AmeriNZ by Arthur since… actually, I haven’t a clue, but for a long time.

12. One thing that immediately makes your day better

When the cats are in a good mood and want to purr on my lap.

13. Which family members are you closest to?

My wife, my daughter, and my two sisters.

14. Something you practice often

Choral music, near-obsessive self-reflection, walking without tripping over the cats.

15. Are you a light sleeper or a deep sleeper?

Deep sleep, not necessarily for very long, but often enough time to have vivid dreams.

Jan. rambling: things that don’t work

toaster hoax

January
https://www.newscientist.com/article/2355346-tom-gauld-explores-crushing-darkness-and-inhospitable-cold/

Exhibit on Post-World War II Jewish Refugees 

Lula’s New Government Is Taking Steps to Combat Racism in Brazil

Public Libraries continue to thrive despite defunding and privatization attacks

Why Do People Keep Falling for Things That Don’t Work? — How pseudoscience can affect even those with medical knowledge

Nearly all mass attackers were male and experienced at least one significant stressor in the past five years, according to a U.S. Secret Service analysis of 173 incidents in recent years.

The Best Management Secrets for Impacting Employee Mental Health

This “inflation” is different

For Every $1 Gained by a Bottom 90 Percenter Since 2020, a Billionaire Got $1.7M

The FDA will soon allow gay men in monogamous relationships to donate blood, according to draft guidelines released by the agency.

The Once and Future Sex is “Eleanor Janega’s new history of gender and sex in the medieval age, describing the weird and horny ways of medieval Europeans, which are far gnarlier and more complicated than the story we get from “traditionalists” who want us to believe that their ideas about gender roles reflect a fixed part of human nature. Modern attitudes are an attempt to rewrite history.”

Gas stoves can harm your health — and scientists have known that for decades

Nancy Pelosi, liberated and loving it

A few observations on Biden’s documents

Jane Fonda on Cancer Battle, Privilege and Coming Into Her Own at 85

An appreciation of literary lion Russell Banks

The Oldest People in the World

February 2023 Flyer for the next Death Cafe. Saturday, Feb 11th, from 1 pm- 3 pm at William K. Sandford  Library’s Stedman Room. The address is 629 Albany Shaker Road, Loudonville, NY 12211

Gina Lollabrigida, Legendary Italian Screen Siren, Dies at 95

Cindy Williams, Star of ‘Laverne & Shirley,’ Dies at 75

Royal dysfunction, disorder, and drama are hardly restricted to the British monarchy

Amazon Smile isn’t smiling after February 20, 2023. 

Passenger automobile depreciation tables

Culcha

M&M’s ‘spokescandies’ controversy, explained. I did not know this was an important political issue.

Comic about batteries, sort of

‘The Simpsons,’ ‘Family Guy’ and ‘Bob’s Burgers’ Nab Two Season RenewalsRenewals at Fox. It’ll be 36 seasons of The Simpsons!

HBO Max has removed over 250 Warner Brothers cartoons from that streaming service.

The use of the word “inedible” to mean “I don’t like this food.”

How Doug Liman Directed a Brett Kavanaugh FBI Investigation Doc in Secret

‘Black Panther 2,’ ‘Ant-Man 3’ Secure China Release Dates as Beijing Lifts De Facto Ban on Marvel

The History Behind Captain America Punching Hitler

The Greg Hatcher Legacy Files #4: ‘Friday Anger Management

The Indecision of Mr. Goodell

The “Greatest” Football Comeback???

Alan MacMasters: How the great online toaster hoax was exposed

All right, who left all these tabs open?

Now I Know: Seattle’s Mystery Soda Machine and The Original Turn Signals and How To Save a Sinking Church and The Birds That Gave The Bird

MUSIC

David Crosby, a co-founder of the Byrds and CSN, dies at 81. Essential tracks

Coverville 1430: The David Crosby Tribute and  1429: The Donald Fagen/Steely Dan Cover Story

Speaker of the House – Randy Rainbow

Barrett Strong, one of Motown’s founding artists and a member of the Songwriters Hall of Fame, died at 81. He was often partnered with the late Norman Whitfield. Here’s his early Motown hit, Money.

I’m A Man and Outro (1967) – The Yardbirds (feat. Jimmy Page)

The Last Stand – Sabaton. “Sometimes you need a Swedish metal song about the soldiers who protected the Pope during the sack of Rome in 1527.”

St. John of Damascus – Sergei Taneyev

If You Raise Your Head – MonaLisa Twins

Tchaikovsky’s Romeo and Juliet overture.

Not A Day Goes By– Bernadette Peters

The theme song from the sitcom, My Favorite Martian — but with lyrics… – The Satellite Singers

Oct. rambling: total Latin dorks

Rebecca Jade, Death Cafe, and the embarrassing Herschel Walker

Movie Love #16
Angela Lansbury was in the movie Mutiny (1952), set during the War of 1812. She’s on the cover of Movie Love #16, only rarely offered by Heritage Auctions

CEO Pay Has Soared by 1,460% Since 1978

The Onion advises the Supreme Court’s ‘total Latin dorks’ on parody

Decomposing HUMAN remains can legally be used as compost from 2027 thanks to new California law aimed at tackling climate change

Someone is pretending to be me, and Internet Trolls Have Tormented This Sci-Fi Writer for Years—and He Can’t Stop Them

Cheating scandal at an Ohio tournament rocks the competitive fishing world

NY-CT Border Disputes and The Kidnapping of Freedom-Seeker Peter John Lee

Against All Odds – Building Albany’s Free Black Community in the Early 1800s

The U.S. Just Renamed 650 Sites Around the Country—Here’s Why It Matters

MAD magazine’s oldest active artist is still spoofing what makes us human. Sergio Aragonés has drawn for the publication since he arrived in New York from Mexico 60 years ago. At age 85, he’s contributed to its 70th-anniversary issue: “Drawing has become like walking.”

Charles Fuller, Playwright, and Screenwriter Behind A Soldier’s Play, Dies at 83

Robbie Coltrane, Comic Performer Who Played Hagrid in Harry Potter Movies, Dies at 72

Sacheen Littlefeather, Who Delivered Brando’s Oscar Rejection Speech, Dies at 75

Kitten hailed a hero for saving a family poisoned by carbon monoxide

Daniel Abesames-Hammer of D III Cornell College is among the smallest college football players ever

Hitchcock Talks About Lights, Camera, Action

Mark Evanier: Blackhawk and me

Variety Intelligence Platform’s Level Up report examines the interrelated sectors within the near-$200 billion global gaming market

All aboard!

Now I Know: When a Lot of Wine Had to Defend Itself in Front of the Supreme Court, and How a Lot of Typos Led to Late Emails and The Intentionally Bad Song That Accidentally Worked and We Are All Invisible Pinocchios

POLLY TICKS

The Making and Remaking (and Remaking) of MAGA Heir Ron DeSantis

Florida GOP’s Assault on the Freedom to Teach

What is a MAGA Republican? and Racism, Lies, and Hypocrisy Are Now Seen as Electable Qualities in GOP Candidates

Herschel Walker says forget about him holding a gun to his wife’s head because Jesus and Does anything matter?

Democrats Warn That Republicans Will Turn US Into a Fascist Hellhole If GOP Prevails in Midterms

Speaking Out Against Hate: SPLC Intelligence Project Director tells a congressional panel that white supremacy threatens communities, education, and democracy

Inside the S–tshow That Was the Trump-Biden Transition

Why ‘Veep’ and ‘The West Wing’ Plotted a Crossover Reunion (Hint: to Save Democracy)

Someone named Gregory purchased http://www.governorgregabbott.com/ and built for him his very own (not very complimentary) website. “More content is on the way.” He also bought the following:
EliseStefanik2022.com
KevinMcCarthy2022.com
TheLaurenBoebert.com
GymJordan2022.com
SenatorRonJohnson.com
SenatorMarcoRubio.com
OfficialSCOTUS.com
DevinNunes2022.com

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver:  Bolsonaro, Brazil’s terrible leader

MUSIC

Some Controversial Classics From Loretta Lynn; One’s On The Way

The Four Seasons of Buenos Aires by Astor Piazzola.

Tired Of Waiting – MonaLisa Twins (The Kinks Cover)

Democracy – Leonard Cohen.

Coverville 1416: The Motley Crue Cover Story

Autumn Gardens by Einojuhani Rautavaara.

Mama, I’m A Big Girl Now from Hairspray

Portland, Oregon – Loretta Lynn and Jack White

Loretta Lynn, Feisty First Lady of Country Music,  Coal Miner’s Daughter, dies at 90. Living in her America. Over her long career, she documented the highs and lows of rural life in an incredibly complex emotional register.

Official release date of Rebecca Jade’s newest album, A Shade of Jade

For more than 40 years, taxpayers funded the FBI’s fruitless surveillance of Aretha Franklin

Linda Ronstadt on Her New Memoir, Feels Like Home, and Her Mexican American Heritage

Questlove and Black Thought Know Much More Than Music

DEATH CAFE in Albany, NY

The parking lot in the back of the Library and the street parking meters are free on Saturdays.

Learn more about this international movement at DeathCafe.com

Folks will break into small groups of 4-6, as always. Please wear a mask inside until you are seated with your small group, and your group chooses to be masked or not. Homemade treats and cold and hot water for tea; feel free to bring your own mug and/or beverage.

As always – it is not a support group. We just talk about whatever our group chooses and respect each other’s views.
Please RSVP by emailing to DeathCafeAlbany@gmail.com

Death Cafe and talking to strangers

“how not to be real”

Death CafeBack in 2018, I wrote about a concept called the Death Cafe. Here’s the website

“At a Death Cafe people drink tea, eat cake and discuss death. Our aim is to increase awareness of death to help people make the most of their (finite) lives”

Although I only attended a single event in person, I’ve been to about a half dozen sessions remotely. I’ve even facilitated a couple of breakout sessions since one wants no more than 4-6 people in a given virtual room.

The last session organized by the Albany group in may had people from New York City and central Europe. It is one of those rare events that, arguably, might be enhanced by Zoom.

One relays stories, largely to strangers, which is oddly therapeutic. I might tell of some specific disappointment about an absence at a recent funeral. It might be easier to share the story there than in this blog.

Food

I could talk about the tons of food that were brought to my parents’ house after my father died in August 2000. I specifically remember that someone came by at 10:30 pm, my mother looking exhausted from the day.

Conversely, almost no food was brought to my MIL’s house in April 2020 after my FIL died. It wasn’t just different norms between North Carolina and upstate New York, plus the passage of time. There was a pandemic, so the extended family wasn’t at her home. On the other hand, a pair of my wife’s friends brought us some food, delivered appropriately in a socially distanced manner.

Back in 2012, Jaquandor reviewed Making Piece: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Pie by Beth Howard. It’s a lovely reflection, which you should read.

Ken Levine on the sudden death of his friend Arlen Peters: “Order the pie.  You never know.”

My  May 31 post has a few more examples.

AmeriNZ

One of those food narratives was linked from Arthur’s blog, He’s been writing a LOT about death, bravely and quite insightfully. For instance, he wrote about people being very good actors. “We learn what to say, how not to say things, and how to present ourselves in a way that the people in our lives expect. We learn, in other words, how not to be real.”

Or finding the right words. “I’ve seen many people dealing with profound grief who say that they stop talking about their grief journey because they sense that the people they talk to don’t want to hear about it, or else they’re visibly uncomfortable. In such cases, the grieving person will, essentially, adopt what they see as the socially expected behavior: Silence.”

And there are others.

My point in linking to these is that talking about issues surrounding death doesn’t glorify death. It contextualizes death in this world rather than making it a verboten topic.

If you’re so inclined, check out a Death Cafe. There will be an in-person one (finally) in Albany County very soon.

Death Cafe Flyer June. 30 2021

Death Cafe- drink tea, eat cake, discuss dying

What is the Meaning of Death?

At work, I took a question over the phone from one of our business advisors in the field, about a client wanting to become a funeral director. I asked the advisor if she was familiar with the Death Cafe, She was not.

“At a Death Cafe people drink tea, eat cake and discuss death. Our aim is to increase awareness of death to help people make the most of their (finite) lives.”

While Death Café is not a grief support group, it does offer a safe space to openly discuss thoughts, feelings, and experiences regarding dying and death. Death Cafés help us move toward being “a society that mindfully accepts dying and death as a part of everyday life.”

As I’ve mentioned, I had attended the first Death Cafe event in Albany in January 2018, and while I had not had a chance to go to subsequent talks, I have been following the local group on Facebook.

As my work colleague discovered, I’ve been fascinated by the issues surrounding death, going back to the passing of my paternal grandmother in 1964 and maternal great aunt in 1966.

I was also influenced by a now-infamous individual, Bill Cosby, who, in one of his routines, told us that when one dies, a person could be rigged up so that each time a mourner passes his open coffin he sits up and says, “Don’t I look like myself?” It’s funnier in context.

Cosby indirectly got me to read, when I was a young teenager, the landmark book The American Way of Death, “an exposé of abuses in the funeral home industry in the United States, written by Jessica Mitford and published in 1963.”

The next gathering of Death Cafe Albany will be at The Chapel at Albany Rural Cemetery on Saturday, September 29th from 1-2:30 pm. Please bring your own mug. Tea and cold water will be provided.

Here are some links from the Death Cafe Albany site on Facebook:

Photos of love and loss

What is the Meaning of Death? This Man Has Some Words to Share with You

Green funeral

Mom died early Friday the 13th….finally

The Funeral and Cemetery Law Blog

The Death Café phenomenon

And here are some grief-related resources that someone sent me to share:

Preparing for the Death of a Terminally-Ill Loved One: What to Expect, and How to Help the Entire Family Move Forward

Symptoms of Major Depression and Complicated Grief

Guidelines for Helping Grieving Children

Coping With The Stigma of Grieving an Overdose Death

Grief & the Loss of a Pet

Grief At Work: A Guide For Employees and Managers

For ABC Wednesday

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