Ambivert, or an approximation thereof

secrets

Ambivert
From The Bad Chemicals. Used by permission.

When I’ve said to people that I am an introvert, some people laugh. “You’re so friendly,” or some such.

So I’ve decided to try on the term ambivert. It showed up on my radar recently via one of those Word A Day emails I get. “MEANING: noun: One having the characteristics of both an extrovert and an introvert. NOTES: An ambivert is one who can be an extrovert or an introvert depending on the situation.”

Maybe that’s correct. The MacMillan Dictionary notes: “The word ambivert was created by American social scientist Kimball Young in 1927.” Ah, the year my mom was born.

Ambiverts often:

Enjoy social settings but also crave time alone.I NEED time alone. But I do all right in social settings.

Have a good sense of when to trust others and when to hold back. I tend to be in the “hold back” category unless I trust the people.

Feel comfortable almost anywhere, whether in a loud restaurant with a large group of friends or home alone reading a book. Well, maybe with a small group of friends, pre-pandemic. And almost never in a loud setting. Even in my twenties, I found the cacophony of a large group impossible to hold a decent conversation in. I’ll take a book or magazine.

Give me a break!

Feel an urge to take breaks from social activities. THAT is undeniably true. But currently, I crave it. A lot, actually.

Have excellent communication skills and are good listeners. I communicate OK. But, even going back to high school, I was a very good listener. It was almost an odd Father Confessor thing, except I didn’t get into the absolution aspect. I know LOTS of secrets people have been willing to share with me over the years.

Have difficulty making decisions. Not really. Certainly not now. I get a menu, eyeball it, and make a decision quickly. My wife once bought me a winter coat for Christmas. The first coat I put on that was warm enough and looked good, I picked; ten minutes. My wife said, “Don’t you want to try on some others?” No, thanks.

Work well alone or in groups. I do work well alone. Whether I work well in groups depends on the functionality, or dysfunction, of the collective.

Get along with lots of different kinds of people. I actually believe this true. One of my blogger friends is a self-described conservative Republican but we can count on each other in difficult times.
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Make good entrepreneurs. In the latter stages of my time there, I was really good at facilitating the running of an extant operation, FantaCo. This allowed the owner, Tom, to deal with the “big picture” issues. Having worked as a librarian helping small businesses for over a quarter-century, I know what steps to take, and likely, how to operate it. What I lack is, as Bush 41 put it, the “vision thing,” some product or service I’d be so personally invested in that I’d want to hang out my shingle.

So maybe I’m an introvert-leaning ambivert.

 

I am an introvert – seriously

“Unlike extroverts who gain energy from social interaction, introverts have to expend energy in social situations.”

Myths About Introverts Busted
From HERE
I am an introvert. There are people I know, and know well, who think otherwise. They are incorrect.

The article 8 Signs You’re an Introvert notes: “It is… important to note that introversion is not the same things as social anxiety or shyness. Being an introvert does not mean that you are socially anxious or shy.”

I used to be socially anxious, but through repetition, I’ve learned not to care as much. Public gaffes I have made, which would have put me into a funk for days – or much longer – I generally deal with with self-deprecating humor.

“People who are introverted tend to be inward turning, or focused more on internal thoughts, feelings and moods rather than seeking out external stimulation.

“Unlike extroverts who gain energy from social interaction, introverts have to expend energy in social situations. After attending a party or spending time in a large group of people, introverts often feel a need to ‘recharge’ by spending a period of time alone.

“This does not mean that the average introvert wants to be alone all the time. Many introverts love spending time with friends and interacting with familiar people in social situations.”

So if I am affable at church, which I generally am, it’s because I’ve been there almost two decades, and I have developed a certain degree of comfort.

“While introverts typically do not enjoy a great deal of socializing, they do enjoy having a small group of friends to whom they are particularly close.”

Technology is wonderful in this regard. The emails I’ve spent with Catbird down south, after meeting for the first time in well over a decade have been quite meaningful. I actually have done a couple video chats with friend Deborah in France, after not seeing her for nearly three decades until 2018.

On the same recent weekend I spent 90 minutes on the telephone with one sister and two hours with Uthaclena. Old school!

“Because introverts tend to be inward-turning, they also spend a great deal of time examining their own internal experiences.” Goodness, yes.

Noted author and clear introvert John Green (no relation) did a video recently Battling Apathy and Searching for Meaning, which I related to – a lot.

“Where extroverts tend to prefer to jump right in and learn through hands-on experience, introverts typically prefer learning through observation…

“When introverts do learn from personal experience, they prefer to practice somewhere private where they can build their skills and abilities without having to perform for an audience.” Check.

Blogging is actually a useful tool for the introvert. It allows me to “put myself out there” in a controlled environment.

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