love Archives - Page 3 of 3 - Ramblin' with Roger

Love, Actually

When I deigned to come up with Songs That Move Me a few years back, God Only Knows was #1.

Yeah, yeah, we should always tell people we love them, and we shouldn’t need to a day to do so. Blah, blah, blah. Just like Thanksgiving should be the only day we should give thanks. Except we DON’T always give thanks or show love. We get too busy or take each other for granted.

I have a very small family. My parents are deceased. My wife and each of my two sisters have but one daughter each. I feel as though it is necessary to tell them all, as well as my friends, how much I care for them.

I don’t know if I mentioned how much I like the website Pantheon Songs, which is attempting to create “a fictional Pantheon in which only the best songs will be included.” And only one song per band! Sometimes I agree, sometimes not.

His choice for the Beach Boys was spot on: God Only Knows. When I deigned to come up with Songs That Move Me a few years back, God Only Knows was #1. Of course, it’s my favorite Beach Boys song.

Those of you who have seen the movie Love Actually – here’s the trailer – will recall that God Only Knows plays at a pivotal late scene. The quality of this video is not great, but I still find it quite moving, still.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Parade magazine had a list of Americans’ All-Time Favorite Love Songs:
1. “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston
2. “Unchained Melody” by The Righteous Brothers
3. “When a Man Loves a Woman” by Percy Sledge
4. “You Are So Beautiful” by Joe Cocker
5. “How Deep Is Your Love” by The Bee Gees
6. “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” by Aerosmith
7. “Crazy” by Patsy Cline
8. “I Want To Know What Love Is” by Foreigner
9. “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” by Bryan Adams
10. “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye
For the most part, meh.

Some local column asked about the Valentine’s Day proposal – romantic or cliche? I voted “nay – diminishes every subsequent v-day and if it doesn’t work out, sucks the joy out of the day altogether.” What dost thou think?
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Bought Valentine’s Day cards a couple of days ago for my daughter’s class. It’s been a while since I shopped for these, but I was surprised that SO many of the items were licensed products, representing, e.g., the Disney princesses, Pixar’s Cars, and the animated Madagascar movies; disappointing.

Is God that much of an S.O.B.?

On the bus the other day, I wrote a poem in my head. It’s a tad vulgar, but so is the behavior of certain religious leaders.

For at least the last dozen years, there have been a handful of religious “leaders” who, after some tragic and horrific event, will proclaim that it happened for some reason related to that place somehow offended God. We heard it after 9/11, and Hurricanes Katrina and Sandy, among others, and now after the murders of 20 children and six adults at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut.

Former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee blamed the school shooting on failure to have compulsory prayer at school; damned that inconvenient separation of church and state! Others have blamed disasters on the acceptance of abortion and gay marriage. A Tennessee pastor specifically said the mass shootings take place because schools teach evolution and “how to be a homo;” I shan’t link to it.

For sake of the argument, let’s assume that God is the spiteful, vindictive entity that some religious leaders say God is. Still, how do they KNOW it’s THESE particular activities that’s ticking off the Deity? How do they have such an accurate Pipeline to the sky?

Might not God be annoyed by our lack of compassion for those who are impoverished? Or our greed that allows people to work at sweatshops so that we can have our modern conveniences? Jesus talked a LOT about the poor, not so much about people’s sex lives. As Shane Claiborne and Chris Haw write in Jesus for President: “If we applied Sabbath law today, the bank owner would be as much of a criminal as the bank robber. And a lot of credit card companies…would be in really big trouble.”

Maybe THEIR God cares more about who is loving who; MY God cares more that we love one another. Their God is a bit of a jerk; my God is a God of love.

On the bus the other day, I spontaneously wrote a poem in my head. It’s a tad vulgar, but so is the behavior it addresses:

When there is a disaster
And you are a pastor,
There is one of two things you can do.
You should show great compassion.
But, if that’s not your fashion,
I’m pleading, please STFU.

The high school girlfriend is 60

Are you still in contact with your first great love?

Ah, my first great love, and all that entails. I really liked her dad, her mom not quite so much. She probably felt the same way.

We had our ups and downs over the years, most of which is not going to make it here. Maybe in some roman à clef that I will compose only in my head. I will say that she had thrown some of the greatest parties ever.

In any case, we’re good now. She’s happily married, I’m happily married. We went to her wedding; she was at least invited to ours. It’s all copacetic. My family even saw her family a few months ago.

Are you still in contact with your first great love?
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Arthur wrote this interesting bit about privacy, and while I’m not sure I would take it to the level he does, the privacy of other people does tend to factor into whatever I write. And it’s not just privacy, precisely; it’s based on comfort level or my perception of other people’s comfort level. I have discovered that there are facts about my life with other people that are well known by a certain coterie of folks, but perhaps not by the general public. I tend to err towards saying less, which can seem somewhat cryptic, I suppose. There are plenty of things I would say on this blog that I won’t because someone else might possibly, remotely, be affected.

This reminds me of the thing I think is the funniest request I have been given. I wrote about a family member. Actually, I was quoting directly a family member. Well, a direct relative of that person asked me to redact what I wrote, because that relative was up for a Very Important Position. Oddly, the original source of the quote was/is still on the Internet somewhere, but mine popped up on the search engine. So, I did.

Conversely, I’ve taken a lot more open position about those who are deceased. So, if I know your deep dark secrets, and you pass away…

Of Anger, Polyester and other things

There was a movie in the 1980s by John Waters called Polyester which a bunch of us went to.

This is a combination of two Sunday Stealing posts from here and here, but I decided to answer only the questions I felt like answering. Besides, I don’t HAVE a favorite mall store.

1. What has been your longest love relationship?

Actually, my current one. We started going out -again – in late 1998. And I’m not even counting the 1.5 years we went out earlier in the 1990s.

4. If you could live anywhere would you live?

I seem to be fine where I am. I fantasize that Madison, WI or Portland, OR might be a mecca for me, and I did like Madison the one time I was there in 1987 or 1988, but I’m unmotivated to change at this time.

7. What’s the longest job that you’ve had?

That would be the current one, where I started October 19, 1992, three work addresses ago. The second-longest was FantaCo (8.5 years). The third place was 13 months.

8. If you won the lottery, who’d you call first?

My wife.

9. If you won, how would you spend your money after investments?

An ever-expanding list of social and cultural programs. Surely the Red Cross would be one.

10. When was the last time you went to church (or a religious house)?

That would be yesterday.

14. What food do you hate?

Canned beets.

16. What’s the longest shift that you worked at a job?

11.2 hours in a factory job after high school, 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. But I regularly worked 10 hours, 5:12 p.m-4 a.m., then worked Saturday from noon to 6 p.m.

17. What was the last concert that you attended?

This one. Well, unless you mean classical concert, which was in the spring of 2011.

21. Do you ever sleep in the nude?

Seldom. I want to be able to leave quickly in case of a fire or whatever.

22. Have you ever had a long-distance relationship?

Yes, and it was not good.

24. What’s you’re favorite lyric quote from a song?

“Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream.” Which I don’t do nearly enough.

25. Tell us something random about yourself.

I used to have some anger issues, I suppose. Occasionally, it still flares up. It was after church a few weeks ago, and a few of us were in the kitchen. I noted that one of the songs we had sung that morning had a different arrangement from I had sung it previously several times, specifically, a harmony line in the original that was unison in the newer version; inferior, from my point of view, BTW. Apparently, someone else in the choir had made the same observation. So another singer declared that our observation was “stupid,” that we read music and should sing what was there, rather than assuming what was on the page.

I yelled at her that I didn’t appreciate her crap, I didn’t need her crap (and I didn’t; my tooth was still hurting at the time.) I realized later that I got so enraged because I dislike the fact that she, who has also been a school teacher, didn’t understand the fact that we all learn differently.

When I was in the high school choir, we couldn’t even use the score for our twice-yearly concerts. I’ve long tried to get out of the music, keeping in front of me mostly for lyrics and pauses.

And, though I’ve been in choirs for decades, I only read music in relative terms. If note A is this, then a third up must sound like that; I don’t think, “Oh, that’s a C.”

But I suppose the yelling was unnecessary. Though I disliked being called “stupid.”

26. Have ever attended a theme party? If yes, do tell.

There was a movie in the 1980s by John Waters called Polyester which a bunch of us went to. Afterward, we all went to someone’s house, and we had to bring polyester (unreal) food, however we defined it. Marshmallow Fluff, Cheez Whiz, TANG beverage…I don’t remember what else.

27. What is your favorite thing about winter?

Its demise.

28. What was the name of your first pet?

Peter. He was a cat we had for about six years.

30. Has your humor ever been called “sick”?

No. Corny. Obtuse. Situational. Unfunny. But not sick.

Valentine’s Day

Both songs speak of yearning. I know, from vast past experience, that Valentine’s Day is not hearts and flowers for everyone.

At my core, Valentine’s Day is one of those mixed blessings days. Why, for instance, do I so connect with a song written by lyricist Hal David and composer Burt Bacharach, Anyone Who Had A Heart? It was performed originally by Dionne Warwick and covered by several others (Cilla Black, Luther Vandross, Wynonna Judd, Dusty Springfield, Shelby Lynne, among others).
Anyone who had a heart
Would take me in his arms and love me, too
You couldn’t really have a heart and hurt me,
Like you hurt me and be so untrue
What am I to do

Here’s Dionne’s version of Anyone Who Had a Heart.

I also relate to Don’t Talk (Put Your Head On My Shoulder). It’s a song from the legendary Beach Boys album Pet Sounds, written by Brian Wilson and Tony Asher
Being here with you feels so right
We could live forever tonight
Let’s not think about tomorrow
And don’t talk put your head on my shoulder
Come close, close your eyes and be still
Don’t talk, take my hand and listen to my heart beat
Listen, listen, listen.

Here’s a couple of Beach Boys versions:
a capella and traditional.

Both songs speak of yearning. I know, from vast past experience, that Valentine’s Day is not hearts and flowers for everyone. I guess that’s why I relate to the melancholy songs so much.

Not incidentally, these two songs are performed back to back on Linda Ronstadt’s Winter Light album, which appears to be out of print, AND I can’t find either track on the Intersnet. One can find them on her box set.
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I should say that Scott, who noted my mom’s passing in his blog, and Jaquandor, who had mentioned it previously, are each requesting that you Ask Them Anything. Here’s Scott’s link, and Jaquandor’s.