Lydia Archives - Ramblin' with Roger

Lydster: Wall of boxes

miracle

When our daughter came home from college on December 20, we had a wall of boxes. The wall between the hallway and the living room was a bunch of presents we had received via UPS and the Postal Service.

The Amazon box contained a small Christmas tree we received from relatives. As you might be able to tell, the huge box contained an office chair, which, as it turned out, was for me.

The three similar boxes were packages with a bit of a story. UPS had been delivering certain deliveries to a CVS closing on Thursday, December 12th. I received a notice from UPS that the boxes had been delivered to that address on Wednesday, December 11th. So I went there, but the boxes weren’t there—hmm.

As it turned out, the boxes were delivered to the CVS in Stuyvesant Plaza. The next day, I took my cart and went to that CVS to get the three boxes much bigger than I had anticipated. They weighed about 20 kilograms apiece, but they were also bulky. Getting them home on a bus with a cart was a challenge, as only one box fit into the cart. The other two hung on the top, and it was an interesting balancing act. After I got them home, I was pretty much spent for the day.

In addition

The tall, thin box was a bed frame for our daughter’s room.

Lydia's stuff

Then, our daughter’s stuff was hanging out behind the wall of boxes. It included the things she brought home this month and some items from when she came home for Thanksgiving, so half of the living room was swallowed up.

Fortunately, she did yoeperson’s work and cleaned all this up by the evening of December 23, plus set up and decorate the tree with a friend. The big box in this picture is the same chair, and the little tree was the one in the Amazon box, also put together by our daughter.

The picture below was taken the morning of Christmas Eve. It’s not entirely tidy, but it’s considerably less chaotic than it had been only a few days before. It’s our little holiday miracle.

Christmas tree 2024

Lydster: the election

“You may need to grieve or scream”

My daughter texted me around 11:00 PM the evening of the election (November 5th) and asked me many questions about how the electoral process works regarding voter estimates. She wondered what would happen, and I said I had no clue. It was true, very true. The next morning around 6:30, she called on the landline, and she was upset. I was asleep, but her mother talked to her and made her feel better.

I know that she recognizes that some of her friends were feeling even worse than she was. They believe, not without cause, that the election results endangered their lives.

But her whole generation feels in peril because it seemed at the time, and even more so now, that the incoming administration will not be terribly responsive to climate change issues; a bit of an understatement, I suppose.

I’m unsure I found the right words for her because I’m still trying to find the correct words for myself. I muddle through, though it feels like walking through pea soup.

Rebecca Solnit

If I get a do-over, I will probably share these words with Rebecca Solnit. “They want you to feel powerless and to surrender and to let them trample everything, and you are not going to let them. You are not giving up, and neither am I. The fact that we cannot save everything does not mean we cannot save anything, and everything we can save is worth saving.

“You may need to grieve or scream or take time off, but you have a role no matter what, and right now good friends and good principles are worth gathering in. Remember what you love. Remember what loves you. Remember in this tide of hate what love is. The pain you feel is because of what you love.

“The Wobblies used to say, ‘Don’t mourn, organize,’ but you can do both at once, and you don’t have to organize right away in this moment of furious mourning. You can be heartbroken or furious or both at once; you can scream in your car or on a cliff; you can also get up tomorrow and water the flowerpots, call someone who’s upset, and check your equipment for going onward.

“A lot of us are going to come under direct attack, and a lot of us are going to resist by building solidarity and sanctuary. Gather up your resources, the metaphysical ones that are heart and soul and care, as well as the practical ones.”

Yeah, I probably should have said something like that. Or what Kellie Carter Jackson wrote to her kids: “I prepared my children for a Harris win. I did not prepare them for her loss.”

Lydster: absentee ballot

The daughter called home earlier this month to ask about her absentee ballot, which she received at college after I gave her advice on securing it; she had to contact the county board of elections website.

She wanted to know why certain candidates are on more than one political party line. For instance, the Democratic candidate is also often listed on the Working Families line. This is likewise true of the Republican and Conservative lines.

It’s because, as the political science major knows, New York State allows candidates to be endorsed by more than one party or cross-endorsement. She wondered whether it made any difference in terms of the vote counting; I said no. So she asked what the significance was, and I said it had to do with ballot position and whether the minor parties remain official parties.

I only suggested one specific candidate. For reasons I mentioned here, I recommended Jaime Czajka over Jasper Mills in the family court judge race. Curiously, when we get political mail, and we got a lot during primary season, one piece has my wife’s name, and another, my daughter’s and mine.

My daughter was watching a television program recently that mentioned George W. Bush and how he was perceived; I’m a history person. Also, she knew I was the expert on games. She asked me about Monopoly for a project she was working on. I taught her how to play poker, Sorry, and much more. While I know little about current popular culture, I muddle through.

Her mom

On the other hand, she talks with her mother about paying for college, clothes, recipes, driving, medical issues, and banking—you know, the more concrete tasks. Interestingly, my daughter aided her mother in the summer with her workout at the YMCA.

I am involved with a few of these aspects. My daughter’s credit card is a spinoff of mine. Her health insurance comes from my former employer. I went with her when she applied for her passport.

Our daughter knows which specialist to ask when she has a query: the teacher or the librarian.

Lydster: Ten Candles

our 25th anniversary present

This past spring semester, the daughter’s final project for her sculpture, mold-making, and casting class involved ten candles. Although the project had to include making molds and casting, it was otherwise open-ended, so one could use whatever material they wanted. It didn’t have to have a theme, but it should be a cohesive project, not random.

She decided on the topic for this project: her parents’ 25th wedding anniversary. In each piece was a bit of wax from our wedding candle. the project took about 30 hours.

Candle #1: a wedding cake to represent the marriage in 1999. The scent was vanilla, sugar cane, and almond.

Candle #2 represents my wife’s and my honeymoon in Barbados in 1999. The scent was rum cake. Why? Because our daughter asked us to give her specifics. Rum cake was one of the most tangible objects we remember from that period; it was delicious, and we brought some back home.

Candle #3 is a standard house because we bought our home together in 2000. (My wife had purchased a house earlier, and we lived there for a year, but it wasn’t OURS.) The scent was coconut, citrus, and amber.

Candle #4 is the steeple from our current church, which we started attending in 2000. The scent is golden apple and Honey Drizzle.

Candle #5 is three candles tied together, representing the three of us. The candles are three different shades of green in honor of our surname. The scent is vanilla, buttercream, and marshmallow, which she feels smells like a newborn.

Candle #6 is an adenoid. The daughter had an adenoidectomy at the age of two and a half, which was very traumatic for her parents. That candle is unscented because the procedure involved her nose.

Felines

Candle #7 is the cat Midnight, who we got in 2013. The scent was sandalwood and clove, which smelled like fresh kitty litter. At this point in his life, Midnight was always covered in kitty litter, so she thought it was very fitting for him.

Candle #8 is the cat Stormy, who we got later in 2013. The scent is called Warm and Welcome. Both cat candles use the same mold by casting them with different colored crayon waxes. Neither of them came out exactly how she envisioned. Midnight was too gray, and Stormy needed stripes, so she painted them, giving each more texture.

Candle #9 is the daughter graduating from high school and attending college. The scent is warm spring sunshine. The wick from our wedding candle was used as the tassel.

Candle #10 commemorates my wife and my 25th-anniversary trip to Chautauqua Institution. This is the CHQ tower; she made it before we went. The scent is sparkling sugared berries.

Unfortunately, the box of candles was lost when she moved back home at the end of the semester. Nevertheless, it was a wonderfully inventive effort. I LOVE these SO much.

Lydster: driver’s permit

wisdom teeth

It was an interesting summer for our daughter. For one thing, she got her driver’s permit and decided to learn how to operate a car. She enlisted her mother in the teaching experience. I don’t think this was something that my wife was particularly looking forward to doing, but our daughter has skills in this area.

She won’t have time to get her license over the summer, as she still has to take a five-hour course, but she’s a quick learner. I’m getting this from my wife and daughter because, to date, I have not ridden in the car with my daughter operating the vehicle.

The daughter has a great deal of spatial recognition. This became obvious when we went to Alexandria, VA, in July. She instantly recognized that there couldn’t be a second bathroom in our place because there would not have been sufficient space. This was her third trip to the National Museum of African American History and Culture, though her parents’ first. We also went to the Jefferson Memorial and passed the Capitol. More about that trip soon.

She’s been going through a lot of her stuff as part of the family purging, whittling through stuff we may not need anymore.

Jock

She’s also been exercising a lot at the local Albany YMCA and is very good at learning how to use some of the equipment, so much so that she’s been teaching her mother how to do so.

This has been interrupted by the need to get her four wisdom teeth removed on August 14. They weren’t hurting yet, but removal was highly recommended based on the dentist and the specialist’s assessment. Annoyingly, because of a scheduling snafu, my wife had to drive her to Queensbury, about an hour away, rather than the closer Latham office. The day after, she had a lot of mango juice, mac and cheese, and chocolate pudding.

She goes back to college soon. It was nice having her around.