Tag: Lydia

Lydia the Tattooed Lady

Marx Brothers

Kelly from the Buffalo area wrote:

I hope her birthday was wonderful. Here’s an “Ask Me Anything” question: When she was a kid, did you ever make her listen to “Lydia the Tattooed Lady”?

Of course, her birthday was terrific. She has such wonderful parents.

Before I answer that, I should remind you of a post from ten years ago about naming the child.

No name in the top 10 in the Social Security list of most popular names for the most recent year available.

No naming after any family member, living or dead. I want her to have her own identity. 

No unisex names: Terry, Madison, Lynn, e.g., This comes directly from the fact that my father AND my sister were both named Leslie. 

It had to have two or more syllables, to balance off the shortness of Green.

It should have a recognizable spelling.

No names beginning and ending with A.

Lots of rules

That post was based on a post I wrote in my first month of blogging in May 2005.

“So, Lydia, it was, named in part after a woman in Acts who was rich even to put up the apostle Paul and his cohorts. Only later, a friend pointed out that the church I attended as a child, Trinity A.M.E. Zion, was on the corner of Lydia and Oak and that I walked down Lydia Street every day on my way to school. Obviously, I knew this to be factually true, but never crossed my consciousness.”

Then I wrote: “The only downside to her name has been those streams of choruses from Marx Brothers’ fans of “Lydia the Tattooed Lady,” a song that had TOTALLY slipped my mind.

“So, even with RULES, tattoos happen. But so do encyclo-pidias.”

When she was days old, my friend Walter observed that song, and I groaned. All my rules and planning, yet that song slipped by me. It’s not that I would have necessarily changed the name, but the information would have factored into the thought process.

To the actual question I asked my daughter since I couldn’t remember. She said that I told her about it. I might have even shown her a video clip, probably in 2013, since someone’s comment prompted that post.

Lydster: On being a dad

The book The Expectant Father

Lydia and Roger
2010

I was rearranging my books, frankly, to make room for more. I came across two books on being a dad. One or both of them were given to me by a dad at my church. He doesn’t attend anymore, so I don’t see him often, even though he and his family are still in town.

One was Thinking Pregnant by Megan V. Steelman (2001). The subtitle was Conceiving Your New Life With A Baby. Chapter 10 is called Dads. One subtitle, Will I Be Any Good at This? And the next one, A Father Has Feelings Too.  It talks about jealousy, a feeling I do not recall having. Journaling was recommended, and I believe I’ve been doing that for nearly 18 years. To my knowledge, the tome has not been updated.

The other book was The Expectant Father by Armin A. Brott and Jennifer Ash. My copy from 2001 is the second edition; the fifth edition, which  I have not seen, came out in 2021. It was very entertaining as it went through the nine months and how the relationship between the couple might change. A subhead: “Oh my God, I’m going to be a father.”

A new day

The chapter most interesting to me was Fathering Today. The authors note the absence of fathers or dads portrayed negatively. It listed a series of ads that irritated me even before I was a parent. “Kid tested mother approved” (Kix cereal). “Choosy mother choose Jif.” Robitussin cold medicines “recommended by Dr. Mom.”

Armin Brott also talked about how men’s involvement is discouraged. He wrote in a New York Times Magazine piece about catching a girl who was screaming. As she fell from a playground slide, he caught her. The mother, coming on the scene, said to the child, “Didn’t I tell you not to talk to strange men in the park?” I’m sure I wrote about this on these pages.

As he notices he’s the only man in the park, he recognized that he’d become the stereotyped menacing male. Indeed, I was at a party in Albany’s suburbs a couple of decades ago. The guy who gave me the books and I went for a walk and instinctively stayed away from the kids playing close to the road. We did not want to be perceived as THOSE guys.

Being a dad is joyful, stressful, confusing, and rewarding. My daughter is pretty remarkable because of, or possibly despite, me.

Lydster: Learning from my daughter

television

Maxwell Frost
Maxwell Frost

There are always things I’m learning from my daughter.

She has been following online Maxwell Frost, the newly-elected member of Congress from Florida. I knew who he was because I had been getting contribution requests from his campaign.

He was supposed to be sworn in on January 3. So he wrote about that the day before. But as the drama over selecting a Speaker of the House of Representatives dragged on, no one could be sworn in. So Frost reposted  that January 2 post, followed by the word “SIKE!”

Quickly, he was scolded by some folks who thought a Member of Congress should know how to spell Psych! But, as my daughter noted, people of her generation have been spelling it as SIKE forever.

Did I mention that Frost is the first  Gen Z Congressperson? “At 25, [he] will be the youngest member of Congress. He’s also in debt after maxing out credit cards to win Florida’s 10th Congressional District seat.”

Influencer

My daughter told me that Andrew Tate was arrested. I said, “Who’s that?” “He’s a former kickboxer and TikTok influencer.” I muttered, “I don’t care about some social media influencer.”

But a couple of days later, after I read about him on Reuters and other mainstream sources,  I knew WAY more about him than I wanted. He is a brutal misogynist. The  Romanian anti-organized crime agency DIICOT alleges he created with his brother and others “an organized crime group in early 2021 ‘with the purpose of recruiting, housing, and exploiting women by forcing them to create pornographic content meant to be seen on specialized websites for a cost.'”

His feud with Greta Thunberg revealed that he was in Romania when a box from Jerry’s Pizza, a Romanian chain, was in his video response to her, which facilitated his arrest.

So my daughter, once again, was ahead of my curve.

Dick Wolf

During her winter break, my daughter watched a bit of television. Two shows were in the Dick Wolf franchise, Chicago Fire and FBI International. She seems to like to watch and dissect them.

In the one episode I watched, Chicago Fire had characters lying for no good reason. For instance, one firefighter tells a pregnant woman married to another firefighter that she’s “fine” seconds before she is rushed to the hospital. In another scene, the woman in a couple avoids telling her Significant Other she’s buying a door with another firefighter, which becomes obvious two scenes later.

The FBI scene involves the officers coming up to a suspect and saying, from ten feet away, “FBI.” The suspect runs away and eludes capture. Now I know what “hate-watching” is because my daughter does it.

I love learning how my daughter’s mind works.

Lydster: Back to college

Power Dad

College AheadThis is a day or so in the life story of my daughter’s return back to college after Thanksgiving.

My wife and I bolted home after an unusually long church service, only to find that our daughter was not at home. It turned out that she had gone to Dunkin’ to see a friend. When she returned, my wife gave my daughter the treats she had purchased for her. We got started about 45 minutes after our 12:30 pm estimated time of departure.

The skies were overcast, but the roads were dry when we arrived at the second rest stop on the Massachusetts Turnpike at Blandford. They were right; it was a heavy-duty travel day, with more cars than parking spaces. I got a couple of sandwiches at McDonald’s; there was no other choice of restaurant. Despite the heavy flow of people, Mickey D’s staff was amazingly efficient with no terrible wait.

The wait came as we tried to get back on the highway. It was a parking lot. We went about three miles in the first 30 minutes. I don’t know if there was an accident; no road construction explained our lack of progress.

Then the rains came. Do you know how many people rag on the National Weather Service when their forecasts aren’t entirely accurate? This one was dead on. It was pouring when traffic recommenced and all the way back to the college.

I schlepped my daughter’s suitcase up a flight of stairs; no elevator. I don’t know why it was so heavy for a five-day weekend. Did she bring home her laundry? Fortunately, Power Dad… could… handle… it.

One more meal

She suggested that we pick her up for dinner. Well, we DO have to eat. So we went to a nearby hotel, checked in, unpacked, rested for about a half hour, and then went back to the college, picked up our daughter, and went to a local Panera.

When we dropped our daughter at college in September, we accidentally left my wife’s rewards card with our daughter. We told her she could use it, and she had. She has mastered the display terminal the restaurant wants customers to use rather than having a human take the order.

Finally, the final goodbyes at college. “I love you, ” I say. “I know,” she replies.

The next morning, my wife and I went down to breakfast. A guy was making a waffle and then pouring on various condiments. He said, “I’m making it for my teenager. It has to be just so.” And a few minutes later, as I saw his daughter’s sullen face buried in her phone, I laughed just a little. Not that my daughter is like that…

Lydster: the college semester

Facebook Meet

I take it that my daughter mostly likes her first college semester. Frankly, I feared that her school experience might have been marred because of her delayed start due to COVID. That was my projection based on an experience I had.

Specifically, two days before I went to grad school at the University at Albany in 1979 in Public Administration, I got a small infection in my toe. By the time I had to register for classes, I was in dire pain. Right after I completed the process, I limped over to the infirmary. They put me in bed immediately for the next six days. The staff feared that the infection running up my leg would run up to my heart and kill me.

(This is, BTW, one of the reasons I worried about my wife when she had HER infection in October and why I, long before any of her doctors mentioned it, insisted that she keep her leg elevated.)

The result for me was that I felt behind in my classwork. After a year, I dropped out and instead worked at a comic book store for 8.5 years.

Different

But my daughter was fine. She eventually figured out where the cafeteria was and found her classes. She made a couple of friends in her dorms, and all in all, she’s doing pretty well.

Well, except in one of her courses. The class breaks up into teams of six, and they are supposed to put together a coherent PowerPoint-type presentation with each team member contributing just one or two slides. But one of her colleagues both overproduced and added indefensible opinions. Her team never met when everyone was present.

So I got a text from my daughter asking if we could talk on Facebook Meet. For 2.5 hours, we talked mainly about that topic, and I recommended sources to look at. But we also spoke about the school, her mom’s condition, and people asking about her at church. This was very nice.

Just maybe I miss her a little.

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