A Sedingerian ARA post

the rules of curling

Kelly Sedinger asked a slew of questions for Ask Roger Anything. And he’s not even from New Jersey. (An old SNL reference.) This makes this a Sedingerian post. Or a Sedingeresque post. You decide.

What do you think of Spam? The actual food product! (I’m still stunned at how beloved it is in Hawaii; you can get Spam at McDonald’s there!)

When my then-girlfriend/now wife went there in 1995 with her parents, she reported the same phenomenon. By the way, I ended up going to New Orleans for work at the same time.

I’m sure I used to eat Spam when I was a kid, maybe in my twenties. As I recall, I liked it. But I’m not sure I’ve had it in the past four decades. I’ll have to try it again.

BTW, from the SPAM FAQ: The true root of the island’s love for SPAM® products goes back to World War II, when the luncheon meat was served to GIs. By the end of the war, SPAM® products were adopted into local culture, with Fried SPAM® Classic and rice becoming a popular meal. The unique flavor quickly found its way into other Hawaiian cuisine, from SPAM® Fried Wontons to SPAM® Musubi, and SPAM® products became a fixture for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Today you’ll find SPAM® dishes served everywhere from convenience stores to restaurants, reflecting a demand that is unmatched by any place in the world.”

Timeshare

For whatever reason, you are required to spend one week someplace that’s no more than an hour away from home. Where are you going?

There’s a timeshare in western Massachusetts that we’ve been to perhaps 25 times in the past quarter of a century. It was initially my parents-in-law’s place, but we’ve taken it over in the place few years.

Once, we were there when our then-baby daughter got a splinter, and we couldn’t get it out. So we took her to a doctor in Albany, then returned to the timeshare the same day.

Sports report

Do you understand the rules of curling? I do not. In fact, I’m not convinced the whole thing isn’t an elaborate prank.

I looked at the rules for the 2024 Olympics in Paris. And I STILL don’t understand them.

Favorite obscure sport?

Foot archery, of course. It is something that I could never do.

Food eating contests: your feelings? (I loathe them, but that’s just me.)

It’s fairly revolting, gluttony as sport; it’s on ESPN! And yet I know Joey Chestnut’s name.

What’s one lesson you learned from any one teacher you had as a kid?

My fifth-grade teacher, Miss Oberlik, taught us to count to 19 in Russian. I can still do that.

Milk as a beverage: Yes or no?

Yes and no. Yes, when served with cookies or, I suppose, pastries. No, when on cereal.

Why is my cat such a doofus? (I doubt you can answer this, but it’s been much on our minds of late)

One of my cats is a doofus. When I come in from outdoors, he runs to the door like he wants to go out. About four years ago, he did go out, and he was terrified when he finally returned over an hour later. Many felines are doofi.

Two more questions will be answered forthwith. Or with forth.

Mayonnaise and other important topics

I once had something called ice milk, which was disappointing, to say the least.

mayonnaise-vs-miracle-whipDustbury hates mayonnaise, and managed to write a whole blog post about it. I’m not being critical. Rather, I’m impressed that he was able to engender a whole condiment conversation in the comments section. I like mayo well enough, in egg salad or on a BLT. It should be real mayonnaise or perhaps the light (usually written as “lite”) version, whatever that is. But I HATE the low-fat versions.

And worse is that stuff that looks like mayonnaise but is sold as Miracle Whip salad dressing; I can always tell when that’s been substituted. I’m actually not sure WHAT it is, but “Miracle Whip does not meet the minimum requirement of 65% vegetable oil to be labeled as mayonnaise as dictated by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.” One of the worst things of my youth: bologna sandwiches on white bread with Miracle Whip.

This is similarly true of yogurt. Regular yogurt’s fine, and there are some decent lite ones, but the no-fat iterations I’ve tried are vile. The strange aftertaste, probably from some toxic chemical compound.

I used to drink 2% milk, then 1% for a long time, but now I have gotten used to skim. But the Daughter has not; she likes the 2%. Her mother once said it tasted like ice cream, and I scowled; surely it is fuller flavor, but it’s hardly ice cream because I know ice cream.

Ice cream is another product where the real thing is great, and the substitutes, not so much. I once had something called ice milk, which was disappointing, to say the least.

What food substitutes are acceptable to you, and which food items just can’t be replaced?

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