Tag: neighbors

The Lydster, Part 111: the agony and the ecstasy

I explained that sometimes people moan when they are experiencing pleasure, such as a back massage.

The weather on Saturday before Memorial Day was cold and wet; it rained virtually all day, and the high for the day was only 47F (8C). It was just as well that we (mostly my father-in-law, wife, and daughter) were painting the living room. I was primarily moving furniture and taking things out of the cabinets, etc.

Sunday was a bit better, in terms of the weather, but there was church and more painting to do.

So Monday, Memorial Day was a nice respite from the storm. The Daughter was out front playing around 10:30 a.m. when she came inside, quite concerned. She was afraid that someone had gotten hurt. She’s a very caring person.

I went outside with her, and we could hear the distinct sound of moaning emanating from an open window next door. But these were, I quickly discerned, the sounds of pleasure, not pain.

I explained that sometimes people moan when they are experiencing pleasure, such as a back massage. She accepted that because she’d seen my pained laugh when something unfunny took place.

This, of course, leaves me with two related issues. One involves talking about the birds and the bees. The other is trying to discern which of the neighbors – it’s a three-story building – were celebrating the holiday, then finding a way to suggest that anyone walking by was aware of their activities. I have a pretty good idea but don’t want to discuss this with the wrong party. Or maybe I won’t mention it at all unless it comes up again.

These are the people in your neighborhood…

I come back from choir last Thursday night and find Shopping Cart Man asleep on their front porch.

There used to be owner-occupied houses on both sides of our abode when we first moved in a dozen years ago. On one side, there still is – different people – though, he also rents out to a number of other people. On the other side, it’s three rental units, absentee landlord, with a relatively large turnover of mostly college students. This is especially frustrating to me because I’m really lousy with names. On either side, there are possibly more people than what the properties are zoned for, though I couldn’t prove it.

Anyway, we had some issues with one neighbor’s dog, specifically where one neighbor’s dog did her business. The front lawn over there now looks like the surface of Mars, where it once was absolutely beautiful, and we didn’t want ours to appear likewise. Words were spoken, mostly between my usually mild-mannered wife and them, and it created a bit of tension between the couples.

Then Shopping Cart Man started showing up. Some of the other neighbors in the building found him rather entertaining, as he’d park his chariot in their yard and start drumming for them on their sidewalk with sticks for 30 to 60 minutes at a time; really annoying to us, even inside our residence. Further, they’d save returnable cans and bottles for him, which naturally encouraged him to come back.

Things got more interesting when Dog Owner Man found Shopping Cart Man sleeping in his hallway a couple of weeks ago, in a stairwell that was supposed to be locked; apparently, one or more of the other neighbors let him in.

I come back from choir last Thursday night and find Shopping Cart Man asleep on their front porch. This was unacceptable to me, and after I put away my bicycle, I figured I’d call the non-emergency police number. Before I get a chance, a police car, fire truck, and an ambulance all arrive, with the EMTs trying, with a great deal of difficulty, to awaken Shopping Cart Man from his drunken stupor. He eventually staggers down the street. Dog Owner Man had already made the call.

So now Dog Owner Couple and we are united by this common issue; Shopping Cart Man ought not to loiter on their property, or ours, though he never has. It also helps that the dog has stopped barking at me every time I ride through our common walkway. I still often go inside when I see Dog Owner Couple, but that more because of their cigarette habits; it’s amazing what I can smell from 30 feet away…

‘Cause like a good neighbor…

At the beginning of the school year, we were coming home and this college student was waiting for us so he could introduce himself, and his mother, to us.

We have been in our house for 12 years as of May 8. Since that time, neither of our immediate neighbors live there anymore. On the one side, there were a couple of sisters and their kids and their husbands or boyfriends. They were a tad uncouth, especially in the summer when I could hear the occasional profanity-laden tirades. But we got along well enough to negotiate the building of a fence between us, sharing the cost; the old fence was falling apart. (See MENDING WALL by Robert Frost.)

The guy now is a lot quieter, and responsible. He seems to have a LOT of tenants, though, and I don’t know if they are relatives or borders; if the latter, that’d be in violation of the city code.

On the other side was a great family. But the patriarch died. One family member bought a second house a few houses down but then moved out of the original house. This guy who does not live there purchased the building, renting it out to three distinct groups of college students a couple of years ago. The young women who lived there the first year were terrible. They might sit on the second-floor porch and pour their half-drunk beer out onto the ground, which would inevitably spray in our direction.

But the guys this year were great. At the beginning of the school year, we were coming home and this college student was waiting for us so he could introduce himself, and his mother, to us. Two hours later, he brought one of his roommates over to introduce him to us. We were in shock. Another guy engaged us while we were doing yard work. I actually knew them by name (Daniel, Andrew, Sam, among others), whereas the women last year, save one grad student who was living alone, wouldn’t even acknowledge our presence with a nod of the head. When we’ve had issues with the guys (cigarette butts on our lawn, a bit of noise), we were able to talk to them and the situation would be rectified.

So when they had a graduation party, they invited us over. We got to meet (or meet again) their parents, and other folks in their lives, including a writer from the local newspaper, Steve Barnes; one of the guys had an internship at the paper. I’m going to actually miss those fellows, and hope their replacements will be as civil.

Oh, and the former next-door neighbor let us use the electric lawnmower. I try to use the reel mower, but busyness plus rain can preclude that.
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Richard Dawson died. I watched him on Family Feud – but his successors not so much – and also enjoyed him on Match Game and the comedy Hogan’s Heroes. Here’s a Hogan’s Heroes tunnel gag, and Dawson discussing meeting his wife on Family Feud.

A Trifurcated Fourth

My wife’s been irritated by our new neighbors since she saw one of them empty her partially empty beer bottles from the third-story porch to the flower bed at ground level.

I really enjoyed the first part of July 4th; the second part, not so much.

We were getting ready for church. My wife seemed to be moving rather casually to get to the FOCUS joint worship service at 9:30. Apparently, she had it in her mind that the service was at 10:30. When I occasionally complain that my wife operates on assumptions not based on fact, this would be a good example.

Plan B: to go to Emmaus United Methodist Church in our neighborhood. As I have mentioned, I stopped going to the other Methodist Church, Trinity, a decade ago. This service started with an African choir of mostly teenagers. Continue reading “A Trifurcated Fourth”

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