Tag: New York Erratic

Movies, music, romance

I once got a standing ovation playing a comb, seriously.

play combMDS of Pantheon Songs wonders:

What are some movies that are generally considered to be classics that you found to be just terrible/boring/ridiculous?

I fell asleep watching Citizen Kane on video; in general, I prefer seeing a film first on the big screen. But that lapse was probably because I was tired. The only film during which I ever fell asleep at a movie theater, excluding drive-in double features, was Empire of the Sun (1987), and again, maybe I was just fatigued.

I didn’t love either The Royal Tennenbaums or Lost in Translation, but this may be a function of seeing them after hearing too much hype. Or I was in a bad mood. Or tired.

Nothing, I guess, fits the bill.
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Tom the Mayor asks:

Are you worried about Lydia when she gets to the age of Dating?

I was watching a performance of The Lion King that Lydia was in on March 2. There’s a scene where Nala, played by the pastors’ daughter, was being sized up by the evil king Scar. And the male pastor, who was fairly near me, got rather physically tense until Nala slapped Scar and got away.

So sure, I suppose it’s an issue. Don’t know what she’ll face, and kids seem to have more ways to be mean.

Also don’t know what dating will mean to a mixed-race kid these days, though you assume the world is better than this being a problem.
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This must mean it’s New York Erratic time again:

What skill has gotten you the most girls? (Thinking clean, like music and singing and whatnot).

My guess is that I can be a very good listener. I was often friends with women I ended up going out with. Someone long ago told me that steering the conversation to be about the other person tends to make them feel good, and not just in romantic settings.

Though I know I did wow someone with my air guitar of Smoke On The Water.

What musical instruments do you play? Which do you wish you played?

I don’t play any instruments. That’s technically not true; I’ve played the comb. In public, including several times as part of the Green Family Singers. I once got a standing ovation playing the blues on a comb in Manlius, NY c 1970, seriously.

I wish I could play piano; I took a year of it when I was about 12, but I just didn’t have the chops. Or guitar; my father played and taught my sister Leslie in about a month, but I couldn’t get it.

What subject in school did you find the most difficult?

College freshman calculus. No idea what I was doing. And I did so well in high school math, with a 97 in algebra, 86 in geometry, and 98 in trigonometry; I would have done better in geometry, except memorizing proofs I thought was dumb.

First calc test I get a 73, the second 56, the third 37. I needed a passing grade on the final. I crammed for two days, sleeping maybe a total of four hours. Got a C on the final, a C in the course. Two weeks later, I looked at my textbook and did not understand a thing.

Which places on Earth you do NOT want to go to?

There are so many. Places that are too hot and sticky, and/or have too many insects; e.g. the Amazon. Places that are too cold, I mean below freezing even in summer; e.g., Antarctica. Places that are too remote because I like people; e.g., some cabin in the remote Rockies. Places that are too crowded because I don’t like people THAT much; e.g. Calcutta.

There is still time to Ask Roger Anything.

Joy, America, food, Muppets

Not sure if it’s anti-intellectualism, xenophobia, some warped religiosity, the fear of the Red menace that makes anything “socialist” automatically suspect or what.

AmericasdebtMore from New York Erratic:

What was the greatest joy in the last year?

It had to be Thanksgiving. My wife and daughter and I spent it at my second cousin’s house, just outside NYC, with her and her family, her sister, my eldest niece and her husband, a couple of my mother’s first cousins (the hostess’s uncles), and more. The next day, my family did Manhattan with the niece, her husband, and her friends.

What do you think is really causing the deficit?

I just don’t know. It seemed that Bill Clinton had a real handle on reducing the deficit, but then, kablooey, it got all out of control. It’s totally mysterious.

Jaquandor chimes in:

I’m noticing more and more that other countries have good ideas as to how to deal with problems, be it health care (other countries do it better AND much cheaper), credit card security, mass transport, urban design…and yet, new ideas have SUCH a hard time gaining traction in this country. Why is that?

I blame de Tocqueville. He came over here from France early in our national development, gave us the big thumbs up, and we felt free to continue that manifest destiny westward expansion thing, because of American exceptionalism. (I jest, but only slightly.)

And there was a point where, because of this being a big melting pot of a country, that this was a destination for immigrants in the 19th and 20th centuries. And great things WERE done.

Except now, we are often exceptionally bad at education and health care compared with other industrialized countries, even though we spend more. It’s our way or the (miles, not kilometers) highway. This graphic covers it.

Not sure if it’s anti-intellectualism, xenophobia, some warped religiosity, the fear of the Red menace that makes anything “socialist” automatically suspect, the power of the American oligarchy, or what. Maybe it’s the belief, totally in the face of evidence of facts to the contrary, that “the good old days” is what we need to strive for. It is probably the same forces that reject climate change, believe people rode on dinosaurs, and think the opinions on FOX News are facts.

Raising a child now, what do you make of current children’s media (books, movies, teevee) versus what you know from your own upbringing or that of others?

Re: TV, there’s just a whole lot more of it, geared to different ages, whereas I grew up with Saturday morning cartoons, Captain Kangaroo, Romper Room, and the local cartoon show. Now, you have whole networks for kids. Disney has tons of sitcoms, most of which are not great, but it’s keeping writers working.

Books and movies are a whole lot more “grown-up.” Someone suggested that my 10-y.o. would be ready for Hunger Games or something along those lines; not a chance. Too violent, too intense. But she does read a lot; she’s MOSTLY over the fairy phase.

Interestingly, even movies she sees that have scary parts on first viewing she’ll watch again to inure herself.

Favorite cheese(s)?

Colby, Gouda, sharp cheddar, Monterrey jack, Gruyere. Sandwiches usually with provolone, Swiss, cheddar.

But the one I use the most often is cottage. CC with apples and mayo. CC with fruit cocktail or apple sauce. CC with eggs.

Seguing to SamuraiFrog, who has a food question as well:

What foods did you love as a kid that you don’t like now?

We had a lot of canned vegetables, including canned spinach. Had some in the last 12 months, and it was AWFUL, inedible. Used to eat white bread, Sunbeam by name; not something I’d want now.

What is your favorite non-music-related sound?

See, I don’t think there are many non-musical sounds. When Lydia was in the MRI for an hour, I’d hear songs that sounded like those particular dronings. Elevators, garbage pick-up trucks, vacuum cleaners, sirens all have pitches I try to pick out. That said, it would have to be running water, the more the better. It’s partly why I like waterfalls so much.

What smells do you find comforting?

Baking bread. Also, the perfume that certain women wear.

If you could paint a picture of one thing, what would it be?

If I could only paint! A night scene with lots of stars and a crescent moon.

And the most important question: Who is your favorite Muppet?

Did I mention that I just bought The Muppets Character Encyclopedia? I didn’t know so many characters had actual names! OK, Kermit sings my theme song, was originally voiced by Jim Henson, and is green, so he’s #1; you’ve written about Kermit yourself recently. Number #2 is Ernie, who sings a song about a duck – you HAVE seen my blog logo – and was originally voiced by Jim Henson. But #3 has to be Rowlf, who I used to watch on the Jimmy Dean Show, long before I knew the term Muppet.

The past, education, happy, sad

I don’t like studying anything in depth; I get bored.

paperrockNew York Erratic must be from New Jersey, she asks so many questions:

Are there any events in your life that you feel make good parables that you want to share one day with your daughter?

I was 51 when she was born, so there is a lot of my life to draw from. Huge parts of it she doesn’t know, significant events, and I’m not sure exactly when/if to tell her. Maybe if she asks. She DOES know about JEOPARDY!

I remember looking at photos of my mother with some guy she went out with before she dated my father, and initially, it was kind of weird, but hey, that was rather natural. When she would talk about it- I was at least in my 20s by then – and say, “Oh, I could have married” so-and-so, it was rather disconcerting. I mean, I wouldn’t have been me!

My daughter is ALWAYS asking me to tell her stories, and I always struggle to tell her some. I know I’ve not wanted to poison her with some of the racism that I’ve experienced, yet at the same, try to subtly let her know – and some of it she’s figured out on her own – that it’s not all in the past.

I suppose I could tell her about being a conscious objector during the Vietnam war or going to various demonstrations for peace and justice. Not sure I want to tell her how I quit a job without having one to go to, more than once.

Really struggling with this one.

If you could go back in time and talk to yourself at 10, 20, 30, 40, and 50, what would you say?

At 10, I was feeling pretty good about things. Got 100 in the spelling final. I started becoming real friends with the girls in my class. Maybe I’d say that I needed to develop more male friends, because, even to this day, I have a dearth of them. I’ve usually preferred the company of women, and not just in romantic settings. I have some great male friends, but they are in the clear minority.

At 20, I was married to the Okie. I’d tell myself to press her about what was going on with her that would lead to her leaving the next year. Maybe I would have gone to the Philadelphia folk festival (which we couldn’t afford) if it was THAT important to her. (Ah, something the Daughter does not know about yet.)

At 30, I had a good friend die and got my heart broken in a fairly short period of time. I’d tell myself to avoid a certain emotional entanglement the following year, though it felt so good at the moment.

At 40, I had just started my current job the year before. I would have suggested taking a temporary position when it became available because the whole path of my employment could have changed.

At 50, Carol was pregnant with Lydia. Actually, there’s very little I would have said at that point because it’s impossible to understand parenthood without experiencing it.

What do you think you didn’t study enough in high school and college?

In high school, it was French, though I DID put in the effort, I just didn’t GET it, past the first year or so. Wish I had had the chance to have taken it earlier. In college, I’m surprised, in retrospect, that I took exactly one course in music, which I aced, and didn’t participate at all in a choral group, at college, or a church or something.

Did you have to write a thesis for your graduate program?

It was not a thesis as such, but it was a long paper, close to 50 pages. I couldn’t tell you what it was about if you paid me. It was torture when I wrote it.

What’s your favorite subject to study in-depth? What is your least favorite subject?

I don’t like studying anything in-depth; I get bored. I like to know a little about a lot of things. Recently, I HAVE become more expert in START-UP NY (an attempt at an economic stimulus in the state) and NYS sales tax law than anyone ought to be, and still, I have to look up. I suppose I’ve picked up some knowledge of The Beatles and other musical entities of the 1960s and 1970s.

My eyes glaze over when listening to talk about cars; I couldn’t tell you a type of Chevy that doesn’t start with C (Corvette, Corvair).

If you could give one piece of advice to a college student today, what would it be?

Resist learning about job skills that you can go into today; the field could be gone tomorrow. DO learn about all sorts of stuff, and know-how to think, not just regurgitate back the facts. In other words, in spite of the great affection for STEM education in the country these days, and I’m not against it, I still believe in the value of a liberal arts education.
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Do you read the funnies? What’s your favorite internet comic?

I seldom read the comics on the Internet, more as a matter of time. I’ve seen stuff I like online, such as XKCD, but it’s not part of the routine. (Here is a special version of the strip.) I read Pearls Before Swine, Luann, Zits, Doonesbury (when there’s new daily stuff) and Blondie, because it has evolved somewhat. Having said this, I did support the Kickstarter for the movie STRIPPED, about the history of the genre, so I am interested in the topic.

What types of jokes or humor make you laugh the hardest?

It’s language: clever puns, things that evolve from double meanings of words. Can’t give you an example, because, as I have often said, I can’t REMEMBER a joke I’ve heard since the age of about 12, even with fiscal incentive. But the visuals on the page, while not the best examples (but they are the last two on my Facebook feed) at least suggest the genre of humor.

I HATE, BTW, America’s Funniest Home Videos; the bits usually involve physical pain and embarrassment. I was at an urgent care place with Lydia a couple of years ago, and it was on the TV; my loathing was confirmed.

One more question, this from SamuraiFrog:

What makes you cry?

Music: The Barber Adagio I have almost a dozen versions of. Lenten music in general. But a great final movement of a classical piece will do it too, especially with organ power chord endings. I’ve mentioned some sad songs, associated with romance, in the past. Music evokes some very specific memories. Sometimes, songs, songs I associate with my former church in Albany make me very sad. Know what song used to make me weepy? Captain Jack by Billy Joel.
Movies: the first one was West Side Story when Maria yells “Don’t you touch him!” over the dead Tony, but there have been several since. An occasional television show will do this as well, but it’s been a while, mostly because I’m not watching much TV.
Other people being sad: I remember when Bobby Kennedy died and people were all sad. I wasn’t, but their tears became mine because THEY were hurting. That Kickstarter/Veronica Mars thing that you experienced made me sad for you, almost to tears, and surprisingly angry.
My melancholia: More now than in quite a while. Sometimes, even in the midst of a crowd, I can feel quite alone. And I cry and/or I get angry.
My daughter in pain, my wife in pain: the worst pain I ever saw my wife endure was after some surgery involving her jaw. MUCH worse than childbirth.

You can still Ask Roger Anything.

Dinosaurs, candy, kissing, travel

It was this red shoestring licorice we bought about two blocks from the school

T-Rex-The-SliderGot a bunch of questions, great questions. Gracias. I’ve been thinking about them, some of them A LOT, but some are going to require longer answers than others, and I’ll have more time in the next week or two (I hope).

In the meanwhilst, here’s a few from New York Erratic:

Were you ever into fossils or dinosaurs? What is your favorite dinosaur?

Not in any kind of systematic way. I mean they were collectively cool, but I didn’t study them very thoroughly. I got frustrated that several of the ones I knew as a child have totally different names, and theories as to their origins are different. Some are now birds that were thought to have been reptiles, etc. Rather like the planets of our solar system, where I once knew how many moons each planet had, but no longer. I’ll pick T-Rex; always liked Bang A Gong [LISTEN].

Have you ever had your IQ tested? When? What was your IQ?

Yeah, at least a couple of times, but they never told us. Once in fifth or sixth grade, some of my classmates discovered our scores but no names were attached. Someone was in the 140s, and we all figured it was friend Carol (not my wife Carol). There were three or four in the 130s, which we surmised were friends Karen, Bill, and me. But we really had no idea.

Did you ice skate as a kid?

I don’t believe so. I have no recollection of it. And not as an adult except once, and it involved wooing Carol (my now-wife).

How do you memorize skits for plays? (This one is fairly urgent… 😛 )

Repetition, optimally with another person, or persons, reading the other parts. But I HATE doing long speeches, soliloquies because I have a hard time memorizing them. Unless they’re poetic, and I can make a song out of them.
***
SamuraiFrog wants to know:

At what age did you feel like you became an adult?

62. (Not entirely false.)

I suppose it was when I bought a house, and I was 47. Not sure I like this growing-up stuff.
***
Jaquandor, who is in the midst of answering MY questions to him, wants to know:

You’re given enough money for a road trip someplace in the US…not enough to fly anywhere in the world, but enough that you can pay for gas, food, and lodging someplace in this country. Where do you go?

I’d do a bunch of baseball parks by train. But if we’re talking a single location, I’ll pick Juneau, Alaska, because it’s the farthest state capital one can get to by land. If I’m limited to the continental US, then Seattle, WA, or Portland, OR, because I’ve never been to either of them, and they are in states as far from me as possible.

***
Tom the Mayor, my FantaCo colleague, asked:

What was the first comic you remember reading? And the first book?

The first comic I have no idea. It may have been Archie, or Richie Rich, or some other Harvey Comic. The first superhero comic was almost certainly DC, Legion, or maybe Justice League.

I had these Golden Books, but I don’t quite remember them individually. I also had the Golden Book Encyclopedias, and those I remember reading voraciously.

What was the first movie your parents took you to?

Not sure. Can’t remember seeing any movies with my father except for the drive-in. Maybe it was the 1960’s version of State Fair; or did I go without my mother? 101 Dalmatians? Early on, it was West Side Story.

What was your favorite candy as a kid?

It was this red shoestring licorice we bought about two blocks from the school, right across the street from friend Bill’s house.

Do you Kiss your wife and daughter in public? Did your parents kiss you in public?

Yes, and The Daughter still lets me! Not that I can recall, and I don’t know if they kissed my sisters either.
***
You can still Ask Roger Anything.

You want dating advice from me?!

Ended up in a relationships with women I met at a party, at college, and at church, but dating, as I think of it, not so much.

The_Dating_GameNew York Erratic, who was probably snowbound when she wrote this, asked:

Another question (another life question): what’s different about dating when you’re older than dating when you’re a teenager?

You’re asking ME? I have no idea.

Let’s review my “dating” history:

High school: Hung out with a group of folks, and somehow, I’m going out with one of them. We break up, but another young woman in the group pursues me, and we’re soon a couple. She breaks up with me, but I was too tired/depressed to pursue anyone else.

College: The second day, I met the Okie, who I would marry less than a year later. We went on one date, to see Rosemary’s Baby, and we were a couple. After we split, I realized that I had lost any ability to recognize when a woman might be interested, though sometimes it’d hit me AFTER the fact. I spent the better part of three years in a monastic lifestyle, especially 1977. As they used to write, from a romance perspective: Worst. Year. Ever.

Schenectady 1978: I started gaining confidence as I’d go out, albeit briefly, with a couple of people. Met a woman at a party in August, and we went out on one date and ended up a couple off and on for five years.

I probably did go out on a few dates after I was 30, but I was never particularly comfortable asking women out. I remember there was this particular woman my late friend Nancy Sharlet really wanted me to go out with. I dutifully called more than once, but it just never happened.

Ended up in relationships with women I met at a party, at college, and at church, but dating, as I think of it, not so much. We’d hang out a lot, as friends, and it evolved.

I am SO happy not to have to think about dating, now that I’m married for nearly 15 years. Now The Wife and I DO go out on dates, but the success or failure of the relationship is not tied to them.

But that’s not what you asked. How has it changed? Online stuff. Creating online dating profiles. And they may already know more about you than you want them to know. You have a hard time hiding stuff. Where is the mystery?

I was watching this show Parenthood (NBC, Thursday nights) last month. In one episode, one character (over 40) has her sister-in-law Google her date, or rather her plus-one, because it’s really not a date. Another character, a young man, a freshman in college, is really into having a relationship but is caught up with this young woman who just likes to “hook up,” as they say, at least until his high school sweetheart shows up.

So it’s the times that are a-changin’. Not sure it’s a function of age, but rather evolving values and technology.

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