The Sunday Stealing this week came from Swap-Bot. These were dubbed by the moderator, Bev, as silly questions. Some of them are just plain weird.
What mythical creature would improve the world most if it existed?
The phoenix could fly around from town to town, helping them to rise from the ashes of fires and the devastation of droughts. Maybe it could work on wind and water damage too.
What inanimate object do you wish you could eliminate from existence?
Assault weapons, such as AK-47s. BTW, I agree with those who have ever been in conversation about these weapons of massive destruction and are seeking to ban them. You call something an AK-47, but it’s an AR-15. So you are chastised that since you don’t know the difference, your opinions don’t matter. What I do know is how either one affects the human body. There’s a video from 60 Minutes from 2018, unfortunately now housed behind the Paramount + paywall, which explains this quite graphically.
What is the weirdest thing you have seen in someone else’s home?
It was actually at my grandmother’s house, I think. A tiny picture of “Jesus”was in a frame, and the eyes seemed to follow you around. It was creepy. The technique is mentioned on this site.
What would be the absolute worst name you could give your child?
Jelly Bean Green
What would be the worst thing for the government to make illegal?
Voting. And sometimes they try.
What are some of the nicknames you have for customers or coworkers?
Not a nickname, but when I was a working librarian, we always said, “We don’t know everything, but we know how to find it.”
Jif
If peanut butter wasn’t called peanut butter, what would it be called?
Toxic paste. My daughter is allergic. When I was young, I used to eat a lot of peanut butter, specifically Jif. I’m convinced I probably ate too much at some point because now I can’t stand it. This has actually been a boon to our family for a couple of reasons. 1) When we’re somewhere with unlabeled cookies, I can take a bite and tell my daughter instantly not to eat them before I spit them out. 2) My wife got Reese’s Pieces that my daughter would receive for trick-or-treating.
What movie would be greatly improved if it was made into a musical?
I’ve thought about this a lot. While I don’t particularly remember the film well, I thought it was TERRIBLE. (While 7 of 9 Rotten Tomatoes critics gave it a positive review, the audience was only 33% positive.) I’m picking Rollover (1981), about which one critic wrote, “Perhaps I might have liked it if I knew what it was all about.”
The plot: “The wife of a murdered petrochemical company chairman and a banker investigating the liquidity of his new bank stumbles upon an international financial scheme that could lead to global economic collapse.” It starred Jane Fonda, during a run of several well-regarded films, and Kris Kristofferson. I believe a scene was filmed at SUNY Albany. Music could only have made it better.
What would be the worst “buy one get one free” sale of all time?
A week in Antarctica in July.
Name game
What is the funniest name you have actually heard used in the real world?
It’s a strange thing. When you hear it over and over again, it’s not so weird. I’m specifically thinking of Arnold Schwarzenegger, who most Hollywood agent types thought he should change. Now, there are so many diverse names, perhaps difficult to pronounce, but people figure it out.
What sport would be the funniest to add a mandatory amount of alcohol to?
People in the stands drinking beer are usually okay. Watching people drinking while performing is not interesting to me.
What would be the coolest animal to scale up to the size of a horse?
All of the examples I thought of were terrifying. A hard PASS.
What set of items could you buy that would make the cashier the most uncomfortable?
I find most cashiers don’t care all that much.
What is something you just recently realized that you are embarrassed you didn’t realize earlier?
Probably the definition or pronunciation of a word, but frankly, I don’t remember (or much care) what it was. And “embarrassed” is a gross exaggeration.
What are some fun and interesting alternatives to war that countries could settle their differences with?
Not necessarily fun, but games of tic-tac-toe with the starter alternating. You succeed when you win ten games in a row. It’d go on forever, so there would be no time to fight.