Losing my grammar grouch badge

scandally clad

I have been losing my grammar grouch badge. Frankly, I never really embraced the title. As early as 1972, when the first issue of Ms. magazine came out- I purchased it right away – I realized the efficacy of using the word Ms. as opposed to Miss or Mrs., in comparison with the term Mr.

I’ve embraced variations on you. Newish takes on they/them make a lot of sense to me.

Part of my learning on the topic comes from being around my wife, who taught English as a New Language, formerly known as English as a Second Language. Among other things, I realized that English is difficult and irrational; often, it doesn’t make much sense.

Actually, I knew that well before that, certainly by the time I first saw Dr. Seuss’s book The Tough Coughs As He Ploughs the Dough.

I have been listening to a lot of YouTube videos by RobWords. He takes on some of the weird variations in the language, looking at the historical as well as the current usage. He explains, for instance, in The Great Vowel Shift, why certain words that look like they should rhyme do not. (When I was doing Wordle recently and was trying to find words ending in ROWN, I immediately picked up brown, crown, drown, and frown but missed grown because it doesn’t rhyme.) Certainly, somebody who isn’t a native speaker would have real difficulty with that.

Punctuation

Still, I remember back in 2005 when a bunch of bloggers were new to me. One of them, a very smart guy, had a terrible time comparing the word its and the word it’s. Without him asking, I made it my mission to gently, firmly, and repetitively explain the difference. BTW, it did not work. I now look back at that with a certain degree of, “Boy, was I arrogant,” along with “Why are you bothering to do this?”

More recently, some folks online were lamenting that young people don’t end their sentences with a period/full stop. It wasn’t this 2021 article, but the sentiment was the same.  The subtitle: To younger people, putting a period at the end of a casually written thought could mean that you’re raring for a fight.

“To younger generations, using proper punctuation in a casual context like texting can give an impression of formality that borders on rudeness, as if the texter is not comfortable enough with the texting partner to relax. The message-ending period establishes a certain distance… Simply put, the inclusion of a formality in casual communication is unnerving.

“Think of a mother using her son’s full name when issuing a stern ultimatum.”

I didn’t say this, but I should have included that in this space of acronyms (LMAO, TY): We older folks are non-native speakers. We should at least try to speak their language, as I practiced my rudimentary French in 2023 when I was in western France.

“Every generation tends to loathe to some extent the way the generation after them speaks.”

Oh, John Green muses over Which is Correct? — or – ? And why not?

Whereforartthou

RobWords asked, Where did punctuation come from?

He makes a very good case that spaces between words are punctuation marks. Unlike the Greeks and Romans, who had to read breakeless texts mumbling aloud like a modern six-year-old, spaces and other punctuation made texts more comprehensible. We can thank, in part, the proselytizing by early Christians.

I’m pretty lax about apostrophes. Some believe the apostrophe used to show possession is a shortening of John his horse to John’s horse. This is probably not true.

“In Old English, you just stuck an S on the end of a noun to reference it as belonging to someone with no apostrophe needed.”

If you want to use a word to show the possession of the house owned by the Joneses, I don’t care if they use JONES or JONESES, with or without the apostrophe, But the one thing that does make me crazy is when they use JONE’S; you never break into the word.

Acorns, er, eggcorns
In the video, Are you getting these phrases wrong, too? | EGGCORNS, RobWords commends the linguistic skill of these linguistic pioneers.
“Decimate” now means to destroy by well greater than ten percent.  I’m okay with that.
Rob has several words that bug his readers the most, and I fully agree with their choices. The current use of unique with a comparative (more unique) grates on me.

Pronouns: He/him, she/her, they/them

Addressing someone how they want to be addressed

pronouns
From the National Institutes of Health – Office of Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion

At my church – well, remotely – my buddy with a great first name recently gave a presentation for our adult education class. One of the aspects of his talk was the use of pronouns, and the possibility of us posting them on our social media.

Months earlier, my pastors started using she/her and he/him, respectively on Facebook and in email. I hadn’t really followed the issue in the broader society. Sometime thereafter, my daughter asked if I had added he/him to my Facebook; I had not, but it was based on inertia. Eventually, I had changed it on FB, but it took actually writing this for me to do the same on Twitter, mostly because I don’t often go onto that site.

Bottom Line has a good article about this topic. “Typically, society has taught us to make automatic assumptions about what pronouns to use for someone… However, gender is not always that simple. Sometimes a person’s gender identity (the way the person identifies internally in terms of their gender) doesn’t align with their gender expression (the way they look). In addition, not everyone identifies strictly as male or female. So when a person includes their gender pronouns on their email signature line (or on a nametag, when introducing themselves, etc.), they are simply taking the guesswork away for you!”

The “they” question

In other words, they’re doing YOU a favor, people! I note this because I’ve seen so much grumbling about it in certain circles, based on the change in language, their perception of biology, whatever.

This is important: “If someone feels the need to state their pronouns, does it mean they are transgender and/or gender non-conforming?

“Not at all. Everyone has a gender identity, and most of us have specific pronouns we’d like people to use when we are being referred to… Most of us are privileged in that when someone guesses our pronouns, they’ll get them right. However, that’s not the case for everyone.”

Another article I found, from 2019, is Welcome, singular “they”. “The singular ‘they’ is a generic third-person pronoun used in English… Although the term singular ‘they’ may be unfamiliar, you’ve probably heard and used the singular ‘they’ in conversation throughout your life. Here is an example: ‘A person should enjoy their vacation.'”

I’ve come to not just accept but to actually embrace “they” in these and other contexts. There was a song by Sting back in the 1980s called If You Love Somebody Set Them Free, which was ahead of the curve. Although I understand Chaucer and Billy Shakes also used the singular “they”, most of us pedantic types were taught that it was “wrong.” But language changes, our understanding of our world evolves, and I’m good with that.

Easy

I agreed with these pronoun usages. But I must admit that a bit of it is probably the same reason most people agree with new ideas. It makes sense and it isn’t all that much of a heavy lift.

I’m reminded of the adoption of the term Ms. in referring to women half a century ago. I was thinking back in 1972, “Hey, why SHOULD women be labeled by their marital status? Men aren’t!” And Ms. had the S that was included in Miss and Mrs., so it was easy to remember.

 

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